The Renewal
by yabookreader96
Summary: Kelso and Donna are away in California. Eric spends his days sleeping in a stupor of self-loathing and depression. Fez meets a new foe, named Fenton. This leaves Steven Hyde and Jackie Burkhart together all summer in the Forman basement. One of many things Jackie and Hyde fans have never gotten is a story for what led up to that fateful kiss on that seemingly normal day. Well...
1. When Love is Loss

When Love is Loss

I was engaged. I was _engaged_.

I couldn't wait to tell Donna.

Pressing Michael's lips with one more kiss I flew out of the Hub to my Lincoln. As I bypassed Michael's van, I found Fez and Hyde leaning down on the ground next to it. I exclaimed about my news to them before climbing into my car which was parked next to the van. Then I navigated out of the parking lot, smiling like an idiot.

But, could you blame me? Okay, put yourself in my shoes. Sure, maybe marriage isn't what you've looked forward to your whole life. But it was for me. Now imagine that all of a sudden you've been rewarded with that one thing you've always wanted.

Like I said, you'd be smiling like an idiot too.

Why did I want to get married? Well, when you spend your life living with parents who cared for you in a superficial way, surrounded by 'friends' who you didn't always fit in with and who maybe, just maybe thought you were a burden, and marriage will seem like a much better alternative. It meant someone cared about you enough that they vowed to stay with you through it all.

That's all I wanted.

Now Michael was going to give that to me.

_Mrs. Jackie Kelso. _I had repeated that name over in my head for years. Now it was real.

Soon enough I could see the Forman's house, and then the Pinciotti's house and I pulled over to the curb.

As I stepped out of my car, I saw Mr. Pinciotti crossing over the Forman's driveway.

"Mr. Pinciotti, is Donna home?" I called over to him.

He looked up at the sound of his name. "Jackie," he said, more to himself, confirming that it was me. He opened his mouth, about to say something more, but then simply pursed his lips. "You should come with me."

"Well, I actually have something really important I need to tell Donna. So if it's alright, I'm just going to head inside," I point to his house.

"Jackie, please come with me…first," Mr. Pinciotti motioned for me to follow him into the Forman's house.

Giving up, I rolled my eyes and jogged to catch up with him as he made his way into the Forman's kitchen.

Kitty was at the counter baking some cookies. At the sound of our entrance, she looked up from her task.

"Bob, I made some cookies. What's this I hear about bad news?" she looks concerned.

Mr. Pinciotti sits down at the kitchen table. "Where's Red?" he asks.

Silently, Kitty makes her way into the living room. I sit across from Mr. Pinciotti. "What's going on? What bad news? Is this…is this about Donna?"

Mr. Pinciotti doesn't say anything. Red and Kitty walk into the kitchen.

"What do you want now, Bob?" asks Red, annoyed.

"Donna left," Mr. Pinciotti blurts.

"Oh, dear…Well this, this is just not good," Kitty carries her plate of cookies over to the table and sits between Mr. Pinciotti and me. "Do you know where she went?"

"To see Midge in California. She's staying there all summer. I couldn't stop her. My baby girl left me."

"Donna's gone?" I ask incredulously. "But why?" I ask. But I know the answer. Eric. Casey.

Nobody says anything. After a few moments, Kitty stands up and straightens her blouse. "I'm going to get Eric. Maybe he'll know something." She stands and makes her way to the living room. Passing Red, she says "Do something."

"Gosh, I'm real sorry Bob," Red says, clearly uncomfortable. He stays where he is standing by the sink. Maybe because Bob was in his seat, but I suspected it was more because he was uncomfortable. "Eat a cookie and maybe you'll see a solution. We all know how sugar tends to inspire you."

Just then Hyde and Fez make their way into the kitchen from the sliding door.

"Ooh, cookies," Fez makes his way to the table.

"I wouldn't," I tell him. "Mr. Pinciotti needs those cookies. Come to think if it, I need one too," I grab a cookie from the plate. Mr. Pinciotti gives me a weak smile.

"Well, Fez always needs cookies," Fez reaches for the plate.

"Really? Is your best friend gone?" I ask him icily. "Because it looks like he's right behind you," I point to Hyde.

"Wait, what's going on here?" Hyde asks no one in particular, sitting on one of the bar stools. Fez joins him on the other.

We are all silent again. This time Red is the one to say something. He clears his throat. "Donna is living in California with her mother."

"What?" Eric says, walking in the kitchen just in time to hear his father break the news.

"Uh oh," Hyde raises his eyebrows.

"Donna's in California?" Eric says in disbelief. "Oh man, this is all my fault."

"Is this because you wouldn't take Donna back after she dated Casey?" Red says, starting to get angry.

"You what?" I ask suspiciously.

"Don't start with me," Eric says. "You were the one to set her up with Casey."

"Yeah, because you dumped her!" I yell at Eric.

Eric glares at me. "Never mind you."

"Hey, I care about her. Donna's my best friend," I stand up.

"Okay, okay. Enough fighting. Jackie, eat another cookie," Kitty says calmly.

I sit down. But I don't eat another cookie. Now I'm angry. Not even an hour ago I was on cloud nine…

"This sucks," I lean my head down on the table. Already my engagement was being shrouded in tragedy. I wasn't sure how I'd get through this summer without Donna.

I think about Michael. At least I have him. If no one else.

The phone rings. I lift my head and join everyone else in staring at the telephone. Kitty being closest, picks it up.

"Hello?" she says. A pause. "Donna!" Eric steps toward his mother. Mr. Pinciotti and I both stand. "Oh dear. Well this just keeps getting worse…" Kitty glances at me nervously.

My knees give out and I fall back into my chair. Why did she look at me when she said that?

"Well, okay. I'll tell her. Is there anyone else – okay. Alright." Another pause. "Okay. Well…I guess this is good-bye?...Yes, for now." Kitty hangs up the phone, but doesn't turn to face us.

"Well?" Eric asks.

Kitty finally turns around. "Um, Jackie?" she asks me. I meet her gaze, but I don't say anything. "Donna wanted me to tell you that…Michael is with her on the way to California."

Okay. Now imagine this: You've just been rewarded with the one thing you've always wanted. Think about it. This is amazing. This is perfect. You are so happy.

Now, you ready? Now that you've got that one thing, imagine it being ripped away from you.

It's gone. Forever.

Good-bye.


	2. Something Different

(footnotes begin in this chapter)

Something Different

By the time, I lift my head again from the table, I see that Mr. Pinciotti has left.

Kitty is now sitting next to me. Everyone else is still in the kitchen. Reading my mind, she says "Bob needed to go home Jackie. Do you want someone to take you home?"

I couldn't move at the moment. "Not yet," I grab a cookie. My eyes start to well with tears. I glance around nervously.

Kitty reads my mind again. "Okay…Fez. I think it's time you go home. Steven, why don't you go downstairs? And Red, why don't you go see if Bob needs anything?"

"I don't know Kitty," Red says.

"Go," she responds, curtly.

Red and Fez exit out the back door and Hyde quietly moves to the basement.

"Eric…" Kitty says. "Are you – "

Eric slams the door into the living room and disappears.

"Mrs. Forman, I know its selfish to think about myself in times like this, but…I don't have anyone anymore," this time the tears leak out of my eyes and down my cheeks."

"That's not true, Jackie. You've got Eric, Steven and Fez."

I shake my head. "I pretend not to notice but I know the only reason they tolerate me is because of Donna and Michael."

Kitty pats my hand. "Well, you've got me. And your parents too."

I just nod.

"Look. It's late. Why don't you go home and get some sleep, okay? And if you want, you can hang out with me tomorrow. Okay?"

I nod my head quickly. It was actually very reassuring seeing that she would hang out with me. It was odd. Maybe I wasn't as popular as I thought. Now that Donna and Michael were gone, I could see that I had nobody left to hang out with.

Sure I was beautiful, had great hair and clothes, and was a cheerleader, but it wasn't like that meant anything if I had no friends.

I began to wonder why popularity was so important to me. Bitterly I realize its because it was the only way to get people to notice me. My parents were wrapped up in their own lives, and I really had nothing to offer.

"Yes, Mrs. Forman, I would love that," I tell her suddenly.

Kitty smiles giddily. "Yay, don't get me wrong, I love Donna. But she just does not like to do any of the fun girly stuff. We can bake goodies and go shopping," Kitty says excitedly. "Okay, let me just run upstairs and check on Eric and then I'll take you home."

Kitty runs out the kitchen. I smile inwardly at myself. Maybe popularity had been preventing me from having anything to offer. Because giving up to hang out with Kitty…well, I had never seen anyone so excited to spend time with me before.

Nevertheless, when she returns she looks anything but enthusiastic. She walks up to me.

"Jackie, Eric's taking this harder than I expected, so I'm just going to have Steven drive you home. That alright?"

"But what about Red?" I ask, alarms going off in my head. No way did I want Hyde driving me home. I was about to die of embarrassment.

"He's with Bob, and Bob needs someone too," Kitty moves to the basement. "Steven, will you come here please?"

No, no, no. "You know what, Mrs. Forman, I can just drive. Don't bother Hyde. Driving will be good for me to, you know, think about everything."

I stand and grab my purse just as Hyde arrives on the landing.

"Yeah, Mrs. Forman?"

Mrs. Forman is looking at me funny. Without turning away from me she says to Hyde "Steven can you do me a little favor?"

"Yeah, anything you need."

I shake my head and step backwards to the door. Mrs. Forman hasn't said anything yet, so I say something to make sure she doesn't.

"Well, good night, Mrs. Forman," I tell her. "See you tomorrow," I say cheerily.

"I need you to drive Jackie home," she tells Steven. "She's not feeling well and I don't think she should be driving."

I sigh.

"Okay," Hyde says reaching in his pocket to retrieve his keys. "Let's go, Jackie."

I follow him down to the bottom of the driveway where he keeps his Camino parked on the curb.

"Mrs. Forman is overreacting. I can drive," I walk over to my car.

"Look, Jackie. I don't want to drive you home either. But you know what I want even less? Mrs. Forman being disappointed in me. So you don't have any other choice."

I keep walking to my Lincoln. "I don't care."

Hyde runs up to me before I can reach my car and grabs my keys out of my hands. Then he turns back and climbs into his car. I just stand where I am.

"Let's go," Hyde says impatiently.

I cross my arms and sit in the passenger seat of the Camino. Once he has pulled out onto the street I hold out my hand. "Keys."

Hyde gives them back. I put them in my purse and then lean my head on the window.

It was going to be a long summer.

I begin to think about Donna and Michael again. And then mostly Michael. Donna left because of Eric, but Michael left because of me. And slowly that empty feeling of being alone morphed into pain. He left because of _me_. He didn't want me.

I begin to think about our last few months. I should have known we were growing apart. Michael started taking me for granted again and stopped caring about what I wanted and lived solely for himself. That didn't work well with me, because, yes I know, I was pretty demanding.

I begin to think about how we ever worked to begin with.

I begin to think about how it was better that we went our separate ways.

I begin to think about how this was really then end of Michael and me. For good this time.

I begin to think how it doesn't make it hurt any less.

"What, no quips about Kelso? Or Forman for making Donna leave? No pity party?" Hyde asks.

I ignore him and close my eyes. I wasn't in the mood.

"Okay, you know what, man? He probably left with Donna thinking they were just going to Fatso Burger," Hyde says.

"I don't think so," I whisper.

"Okay, well, I'm sure he didn't leave because of you. The guy is crazy about you."

"It's not even him. A guy who runs off after getting engaged is not the kind of guy I want to be with. It's Donna who I miss."

"Whoa, hold up… You guys really got engaged?" he asked incredulously. "I thought you were kidding back there. Okay, even _you've _got to appreciate that good burn."

I lift my head up and glare at him accusingly. "You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes."

"That why they keep me around. Okay. We are here," Hyde pulls over.

"Thanks," I say quickly, jumping out and running up to my dark house.

Once inside, I begin to feel even more alone. My parents were both out of town again and the maid had already gone to bed.

And I missed Donna.

And I missed Michael. I didn't want to miss him. I was trying to convince myself that I deserved better than him. And that the boy I missed no longer existed. The boy who ran off was nothing to me. But it was one thing to tell myself this and another thing to believe it.

And Donna. I missed her, but I couldn't decide if I should be happy for her or angry. I mean, how could she leave me like this? She knew I had no one else. What did she expect me to do? But of course, she wouldn't be thinking about me. She left because her life was falling apart, so I couldn't blame her. I would've left too. She was looking for her happiness.

And that's when I got the idea.

My life was now falling to pieces as well. Maybe I should leave too.

When I wake up the next morning, I'm lying face down on my bed, still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday.

All the events of yesterday come rushing back, except this time the emotions don't follow. And for once I can think about it clearly.

I was done with Michael Kelso. For good this time. I had given him a second chance, but he broke my heart again. And I wasn't sad. I was glad that I was strong enough to move on.

Donna Pinciotti was my best friend, and I was happy that she had the courage to leave the place that had destroyed her life to find the place where she could be happy.

And as for me, I was not going to leave. Because, unlike Donna, the things that had destroyed my life had left _me_, so I didn't have to leave them. And now that they were done making me miserable, perhaps there was something here to make me happy.

For instance, hanging out with Kitty today.

So after I showered, did my hair and make – up, I grab my purse and keys and head outside.

Only to remember that my car was still at the Forman's.

I debate calling them, but decide against it. Eric was too miserable. Hyde was too annoying. Red would refuse. And I just didn't want to bother Kitty. She had already done enough for me.

So I walk. It helped me to think further about all the decisions I had just made and how I would use these decisions to shape this upcoming summer. I would probably still hang out at Eric's house. Fez was nice to me. And Eric and I could probably help each other. And I knew Bob and Red and Kitty would always be there for me even when my parents were not.

And I would do cheerleading camp and then maybe I could become the captain of the varsity cheerleading team when I started my junior year of high school after this summer. I would also quit that stupid job selling cheese that I took so Michael and I could stay together. Now that we were done, my father would give me money again.

This last thought made me smile the most. If anything could solve heartbreak it was money. And lots of it.

"Well, look who's smiling today!" Kitty says encouragingly as I step into her kitchen after my walk over there.

"Yeah," I shrug nonchalantly. "I've done a lot of thinking, and I decided that I would use this summer to find _me_, you know?"

Kitty gives me a small smile. "That's excellent. Now, if only I could convince Eric to do the same thing."

And that's when I said something that the person I was yesterday probably would have never said. "If you want, I could talk to Eric for you. You know, since we are kind of in the same situation and all."

Kitty gives me a kind smile. "I would like that. But," Kitty gives off one of her characteristic hearty laughs, "Right now I'm going to teach you how to make drinks!"

"Kitty, I don't know that that's such a good idea," says Red, walking in to the kitchen from the living room, having caught the last bit of our conversation.

"Well, I'm not going to let her drink anything," Kitty says in defense. "But in my experience," she says knowingly, "making drinks has always been a healthy way to de-stress," she winks at me.

Then Kitty pulled me into the living room and I couldn't help laughing along with her.

After an hour had passed, Kitty had taught me how to make a Harvey Wallbanger, Kamikazee shots, and an Amaretto Stone Sour.

"Wow, Mrs. Forman, this _is_ relaxing," I say as I finish making a Wallbanger.

"If you think that's relaxing, just wait until you are eighteen and can actually drink them," she grins.

A moment later Fez and Hyde walk into the living room from the kitchen.

"Whatcha boys up to?" Kitty asks.

"We're forcing Forman to get out of bed," Hyde says, heading for the stairs.

"I brought candy," Fez says encouragingly following Hyde up the stairs.

Kitty looks at me when they're gone. "Something tells me that Steven's aggression and Fez's candy won't get Eric out of bed. Do you think now would be a good time for you to go impart your words of wisdom on him like you offered?"

"Sure," I hand her the drink I just finished making. "Thanks for your time Mrs. Forman. Enjoy," I say before heading up toward Eric's room.

From outside his room I hear Hyde speaking. "Come on man, we we're going to Funland and you're coming with us."

Funland? Seriously, they were going with this tactic again? Even after it didn't work the first time when Eric and Donna first broke up? They needed help. I came sauntering and said as much.

"Ugh, you guys need help. Do you honestly think Eric's in any mood to go to Funland? You go there when you want to have fun. And you feel too guilty to have fun, right Eric?" I turn my attention from Hyde and Fez to Eric's sunken figure in his bed.

Eric nods dully. "Yes. Exactly."

I give a knowing look to Hyde and Fez before turning back to Eric. "Look, Eric, I know exactly how you feel. I miss Donna too, and like you, feel guilty about her leaving, I feel guilty about Michael leaving. So, I too just want to drown my sorrows. And thanks to your mom, I know exactly what to do."

This catches Eric's interest. "Does it involve Funland?"

I roll my eyes. "No."

"Then I'm in."

"We're going in my car," I say as Eric, Hyde and Fez follow me out of the Forman home. "I'm not walking back here again."

Eric sits in the passenger seat next to me and Fez and Hyde sit in the back.

"Now that I'm thinking clearly," Eric starts. "I realize maybe I shouldn't have agreed to your plans until I knew what they were. Especially if they have to do with my mom."

I ignore his comment. "Eric, guess what your mom literally just finished teaching me how to do?"

"How to make a man miserable? Oh, wait you already knew how to do that, right? That's why Kelso's gone," Eric says crabbily and turns to look out the window.

That one hurt. "Yeah, well you're no better. Donna left because you're a big sleazebag who was too proud to take back the girl who was too good for you."

"Alright, let's not kill each other," Fez says from the back.

I sigh. "Okay, Eric. Your mom taught me how to make drinks."

"So?" he doesn't look at me.

"Sooo… my house is empty and has a basement full of liquor. I'm going to make us all drinks," I say with a smile. "How does an Amaretto Stone Sour sound?"

All of a sudden all three guys were smiling.

Once I finish making us all drinks, the four of us sit together on the bar stools in my parent's wine cellar.

Eric finishes his drink. "Jackie, why would my mom teach you this? She had to know that you'd just go home and make yourself a drink."

I smile deviously. "Easy. I was sad, and no one can seem to stand it when I'm sad. It's probably because I'm so beautiful," I flip my hair over one shoulder. "And she thought I was too innocent to stoop to underage drinking."

"Innocent," Hyde scoffs. "You've done a lot more that underage drinking."

I glare at him. "Some of that is your fault."1

Hyde leans back in his seat. "Alright, Forman. You ready for Funland now?"

Eric's silent for a moment. Then he shrugs. "Why not? I haven't been there since I was like, ten."

Fez smiles, taking one last gulp of his drink. "This is better than candy." We all look at him surprised. At first he looks confused, but then his face turns to despair when her registers what he's just said. "Aye," he grabs his bag of candy. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he says to the bag. Then he looks up. "Let's go, there's nothing to see here," he says with a dignified air.

"Jackie, since all we have is your car, you're going to have to pay for gas," Hyde says. I must have given him a strange look, because he continues to explain himself. "Look, whatever gas you put in there, I'm guessing it's not cheap, and we don't have the money for it."

But I wasn't worried about gas. I was surprised that they were going to let me go with them. Especially Hyde. I figured they were just going to ditch me now that Michael or Donna wasn't here to vouch for me.

But then I realized, that all this time today, they hadn't ditched me. We were working through all our problems together, like we always had, even though we were down to four instead of six. Maybe I was more than "Kelso's girlfriend" or "Donna's friend". And for that I was eternally grateful.

"Yeah, I'll pay for gas," I nod and follow them up the stairs.

It wasn't until we had all climbed back in my car and I had turned the ignition that I realized something. And I felt really stupid. "Wait. I actually have no idea how to get to Funland."

"Didn't you pay any attention when we went earlier in the year?" Hyde asks from the backseat. "Or were you too busy with Kelso?"

I flush angrily. "Yes, in fact, I _was_ wasting my time with that jerk. You happy? Now, who's going to drive?"

Eric shrugs. "Like I said, I haven't been there since I was ten. So I don't know how to get there either."

"And I can't drive," Fez adds.

"You're all a bunch of invalids," Hyde mumbles, opening his door. "Move, Jackie," he opens the driver door.

"Eric get in the back," I shove him across the seat.

"What? I thought I got special privilege because I'm sad," Eric whines.

"Yeah, well I need to make sure Hyde doesn't hurt my baby," I say impatiently.

"Your baby?" Hyde sneers.

"Yes," I say forcefully. "My car is my baby and I'll be damned if I let you even scratch it."

Hyde raises his eyebrows. "Whatever you say," he shrugs before pulling into reverse.

In spite, for the entire car ride I annoy Hyde with questions about how to get there, all for his comment about Michael. I also annoyed him about my car.

"So you take exit 10?" I nod. "Wow, I don't recognize any of this. It looks so different from the front seat. Hey, don't get too close to that 18-wheeler. Did you know that if you are close enough to one that you can't see its rearview mirrors, it can't see you, and so we could get in a crash and my baby could get ruined?"

"We get into a crash and it's your car you're worried about? Not your life? My life? Their lives?" Hyde responds.

"I have put hours of hard work into this car,"2 I say matter of factly. "So yes, I'm worried about my car. Especially with _you_ driving it."

"Hey, I drive my Camino and I don't scratch it. Fez is the one you shouldn't trust behind the wheel."

"I don't trust anyone with my car."

"Then why am I driving it?" Hyde asks incredulously. "And might I add, this isn't the first time you put me behind the wheel of your Lincoln either. Actually, it's the third."

I was momentarily stunned. He was referring to the time we went to prom and that one disaster of a date. He never mentioned that and even now, with this subtle acknowledgment I was speechless. But I quickly recovered.

"Oh, I missed it. Was that a light we just went through? Okay. After exit 10, go straight through the first light. Perfect, next week I've got a date with myself to Funland," I cross my arms.

"Hey Jackie," Eric says from the back. "When you're on the date with yourself next week, I encourage you to be completely yourself, but right now you're with us, so let's tone it down."

I spin around in my seat. "Hey, I'm paying for gas, and I'm sure I could get more for my money with 90 less pounds sitting in the backseat."

"Nice burn," Hyde holds out his hand and I give him a high five.

I smile inwardly, momentarily forgetting about Donna and Michael. I still had friends after all.

The next issue didn't arise until after we reached Funland and were getting ready to board our first coaster. And the issue was: Who gets to sit with Hyde, and who gets stuck with me?

"But I'm Hyde's best friend," Eric whined to Fez.

Fez was quick to respond. "But Hyde is my best friend."

"Hyde is my best friend too," Eric continues.

"You know, I'm beginning to think nobody wants to sit with me," I pout.

"Really, you just got that? Get with the program, lady," Fez says.

"Who has to sit with Jackie?" Eric says fast. "Noses. Not it," he brings his finger to his nose.

Fez stomps his foot. "No fair," he whines. But then he opens his eyes wide. "Wait, not it, sorry Hyde, you're stuck with Jackie."

"What? Are we in third grade again?" Hyde says.

"We are. But you can prove that you're not by sitting with Jackie and taking the fall for us."

"Seriously? I pay for the gas and all our tickets, and this is how I get treated?" I cross my arms. "That's real nice," I say teasingly.

"Hey, that's the reason we brought you along, money bags," Hyde shrugs.

I give him a look of earnest surprise and hurt this time. "So, I'm the wallet," I say, more as a fact than a question. I look down at my feet. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I had been right the first time. Donna was my only friend, and the guys were only pretending to like me for my money. God, I felt stupid.

"Oh, crap. Fine. I want to sit with Jackie," Hyde mumbles, shooting daggers at Eric and Fez. "And you two babies sit together. Now Jackie, will you please stop making a scene?"

"Thank you, Hyde. And, no, I will not stop making a scene," I turn away from them and move forward in line. All three of them follow.

For the rest of the rides we go on, nobody says a thing about who sits with who. All of a sudden Eric and Fez adhere together like glue, both having come to realize that if they stick together, they won't get stuck with me. And Hyde climbs in the seat next to mine, ride after ride, wise enough not to make any more quips about our seating arrangements.

"So, Forman, are you glad we came to Funland?" Hyde asks Eric while the four of us sat on the Tire Toss, waiting for the carney to come release the lap belt. The Tire Toss was one of those spiny rides and was shaped in a tire with small cabins that could fit up to four people. Again, Hyde got stuck with me, and Eric and Fez sat across from us.3

"Yeah, I guess man," Eric kicks Hyde's knee. "You know Hyde, you act all tough, but you really do care about me," Eric mocks crying.

"Shut up man," Hyde mutters. "And don't kick me. My arm already hurts from Jackie's shoulder ramming into it on this ride."

Eric grins at me. "She learned from the best. Now you know what its like when you frogg us, buddy."

"Didn't I tell you to shut up Forman?" Hyde says again.

We all fall silent. A moment later we all hear someone's stomach growl and we all look to Fez. "Aye, I haven't had any candy in five hours."

I smile. "Don't worry about it Fez. We'll go get dinner next."

"Yeah, if the carney ever lets us out of this damn ride," Hyde says loudly, trying to shake the metal lap bar.

Eric grins gleefully at him. "Poor Hyde. Feel like a caged animal buddy?"

"Forman I swear to God, I'm gonna kick your – ".

"Okay kids, let's use only fun language at Funland," the carney says finally releasing our lap bar.

I roll my eyes, remembering how last time when we were here, that man in that filthy dog costume replaced everything with the word 'fun' as well.

As if reading my mine, Hyde frowns at the retreating carney as we exit the ride and says "I don't know how much longer I can keep coming back here."4

"Aww, but its always fun o'clock in Funland!" I tease him.

"Watch it," Hyde mutters.

"Ooh, I loved that song," Fez grins from ear to ear. "Fun, fun, fun, fun…" he starts to sing.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Eric asks, completely lost.

Hyde gives Eric a rueful grin. "You don't want to know, man. Now, let's get out of here."

We quickly exited the park, although we almost had a run-in with that filthy dog, and we had to quickly drag a once again completely confused Eric in the opposite direction.

Once on the road we stopped at a diner not too far from the park to get some dinner and so Fez's stomach would stop growling so much.

"Fez, have you eaten at all today?" I ask him as we walk into the diner.

"Well, let's see, I had some m&m's this morning, and some licorice before Hyde and I picked up Eric. Oh, and then I had a tootsie pop on the way to Funland."

"Fez, you can't just eat candy all day and wait for real food until dinner," I tell him as the waiter seats us at our table. "It's really unhealthy for your teeth and – wait. You had a tootsie pop in my car?"

"Oh, no, here comes the meltdown," Hyde mumbles from my side.5

I stare at Fez from across the table, "Aye," he says nervously.

I turn to Hyde. "Give me my keys, I have to go make sure there's nothing sticky in the backseat."

"Really?" he asks incredulously, but hands me my keys anyways.

As I stand I see the waiter walking over with his notebook. "Just order me a burger," I say to no one in particular.

It turned out that my backseat wasn't sticky, however, I did find the tootsie pop paper wrapping wedged in between the seat cushions. Walking back into the diner, I drop it in front of Fez.

"Found this in the back seat," I raise my eyebrows, sitting back down.

"Oh, great, for my collection," Fez picks up the wrapping.

"Unbelievable," I whisper to myself.

"Alright," Hyde says, pointing to Fez and Eric. "The three of us split the bill. Jackie paid for everything else."

"Oh, I was only kidding before," I shrug. "This bill will be nothing. It's only a diner, not a five star restaurant."

"Still," Hyde says. "Its not fair to you."

"Yeah, Hyde's right man. Look, Jackie, trust me. You are not easy to hang out with," Eric says. "But that's no reason to make you pay for everything. Even if you are made of money."

I touch my hand over my heart. "Thanks you guys, this is so sweet." Then I frown. "But I don't know where you guys got this idea that I'm made of money. At least, I'm not anymore. Remember? My dad cut me off. You guys had a good laugh about that at my and Michael's expense."

Hyde frowns. "Then where did you get all the money to pay for today?"

"From work," I shrug.

"Oh, crap. You paid for everything with your own money?" Hyde asks.

"Yeah. So?"

Eric leans forward. "We thought we were spending your sleazy dad's money. Not yours. That's why we've been such jerks."

"Hey, watch what you say about my dad," I say. But then I laugh. "And seriously. That's your excuse for being jerks? I hate to break it to you guys, but you're always like this. Even when Donna and Michael were here."

"You're no peach yourself," Hyde says.

"Fine, fine," I say. "But I can still afford this. I have a good salary."

"Yeah, so do we," Eric says. "And Fez's host parents give him a pretty hefty allowance."

"Alright," I say as I see our food arriving. "Let's talk money later. Let's eat now."

As we ate, I was for a moment, disconnected, and looking down on the four of us from the outside, savoring the memory at how things were at this moment.

Because sometimes, whether or not you want that one big change, its going to come, and sometimes it will leave you wishing it had never happened, or glad that it did because it brought you something better. But sometimes, like right now, it just brings you something different, nothing better or worse, just different. And all of a sudden you feel renewed.

Because never did I think I would be sitting in a diner eating dinner and laughing with Eric, Hyde, and Fez. But I was. It wasn't something better, nor worse than I had before. Just different.

And for some reason, _different _was what I needed. I could feel the opportunity that this summer would bring in this one small moment.

I was living in the moment.

Although, for most people, living in the moment, might mean not thinking about it, just living in the present, for me it was something different. It was appreciating the moment, in the moment, because I knew it was something that made me happy, and I knew why. And I knew that this moment wouldn't last forever, and that made me kind of sad. So I did my best to appreciate it all, because I knew I would look back on this memory a lot. But despite its happiness, there would always be that shred of sadness.

1 – Obviously this is a reference to the gang's pot smoking-habits. Particularly between Hyde and Jackie, Hyde is referring to the time that Jackie was busted and he took the rap.

2 – I decided to include this part about Jackie doing lots of work on her car, because, as well all know, in season one, Hyde comes across Red and Jackie working on his car. Needless to say, Hyde was very shocked.

3 – So, for the fictional "Tire Toss" ride, I did my best to explain it, but I couldn't describe it well enough to get across the reader what I wanted. You have a cabin with four seats, two seats on either side. So Jackie and Hyde are together on one side. And because it's a spinning ride, of course that means Jackie and Hyde are going to end up squished next to each other in one corner of the ride. Just a tiny pre-zen love moment. One of many to come.

4 – If you pay close enough attention in the episode of season 4 where they go Funland, there is a brief moment when the man dressed up in the dog costume harasses Jackie and Hyde steps in front of her and scares off the dog. It's a brief pre-zen love moment, in which Hyde shows a protective nature toward Jackie. So I wanted to include how they both remember this.

5 –And of course, like at the park, Hyde is stuck sitting next to Jackie when they sit down to eat. J


	3. Broken Connection

"Daddy?" I say unexpectedly, by the time I walk into my house at almost eleven o'clock that same night. I had not expected my parents to be home. "You're…Welcome home!" I tried to play it coy, and kept my distance. Smelling of beer and weed probably wouldn't help my case.

"Jackie Beulah Burkhart," my father responded, using my full name. Not a good sign. "It's eleven o'clock."

"Well, in my defense, you're not supposed to be here," I say. I knew there was no way I'd get myself out of this one. I was way past curfew. No avoiding the truth.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"At Leslie Cannon's house," the lie comes quick to my mouth. It was easy. Leslie was another rich cheerleader, and because of that, she was someone my parents would approve of my hanging out with.

"Leslie. She's a nice girl," my father nods, which was kind of ironic. Would he still think she was a 'nice girl' if he knew that she had almost destroyed Mr. Forman's Corvette just a few weeks ago? I doubted it. "Well, that's good enough for me. Go to bed Jackie."

Eager to escape, but curious about something else, I stayed rooted in place. "Where's mom?" I tilt my head to one side.

There was a long, pregnant pause before my father answered. "She had to stay back. She should be home in a few days."

"Where did you guys go, anyways?" I ask, curious.

"A political convention, of sorts," my father took a step forward and rested his hand on my shoulder. I prayed he couldn't smell the beer and weed. "Now, enough questions. Go to bed Jackie."

This time, eager to escape his proximity, I scurry toward the stairs and rush to my room.

However, that was not the end of my father's scrutiny. The next morning, after I had gotten dressed and made my way downstairs, I found my father sitting at our kitchen table. I don't think I had ever seen this table used before, except by myself.

"Shouldn't you be at work already?" I ask my father cautiously.

"No," is all he says, so I don't ask anything more.

I was used to eating breakfast by myself, and I wasn't exactly comfortable eating breakfast with my father today. He didn't seem to be in a very loving mood, to put things lightly.

I grab my car keys off the counter, from where I left them last night, more than ready to get out of there.

"Where are you going?" my father asks. "You need to eat breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," I turn towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asks again.

What was with this? My parents ignore me for sixteen years and now all of a sudden my father has to know everything I do?

I decide to test him. "I'm going to see my friend. Donna Pinciotti."

He pursed his lips. My parents never did like Donna. "Well, be home before ten."

Now it was my turn to purse my lips. So…he didn't know Donna was in California. Or Michael. That reminded me.

"Dad, I broke up with Michael."

My father's eyes softened. "That's great news, honey. Here," my father pulls out his wallet. "Buy yourself something nice," he hands me some cash.

"Thanks Daddy," I try to conceal my grin, but as soon as I head out the door, I can't help but feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. Michael was a burden himself, but he also cut me off from my money, and had held me back from my parent's approval.

So, I may have lied about going to Donna's house, but I did go to the one next door so that I could hang out with Kitty again. I'd had a lot of fun yesterday, and I suspected she liked getting to teach me the things that Laurie had always refused to learn.

As I walked through the sliding glass door however, I saw that the Formans and Hyde were all sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I say, immediately backing out the door. "I'll come back later."

"Right you will," Red points at me grumpily.

"Oh, nonsense Red," Kitty rises from her seat and smiles at me. "We have enough food to feed another mouth." Then Kitty looks at me. "It's early, I doubt you've had a real breakfast yet."

"I'm not hungry," I say still backing out.

"Sure you are," Kitty says. "You can sit in Eric's seat."

I frown, noticing that Eric wasn't there. "Where's Eric?"

"In bed," Kitty shakes her head sadly. "I thought you guys made him feel better yesterday, but apparently that was only temporary."

Kitty grabs my arms and drags me to Eric's seat. "Pancakes," she says, putting a plate in front of me.

"Are you sure he's just not like, really tired?" I ask.

"Forman is a weakling," Hyde speaks up. "Without Donna, he's a hopeless cause."

"Well…well…I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that," Kitty looks sad. "I'm going to go talk to him," Kitty stands up a moment later and exits the kitchen. Hyde shakes his head.

"Dumbass," Red says, to no one in particular.

That gives me an idea. "Mr. Forman?"

"Hmm," he grumbles.

"What do you know about political conventions?" I ask him.

Mr. Forman clears his throat. "Political conventions?" This catches his attention. ""You're going to have to be a little more specific than that. What kind of political conventions?"

"Well, I don't know," I shrug. "I don't do politics. I guess, the kind that my dad might be involved in."

"Your father's the City Councilman, right?" Red asks me.

I shrug, and he gives me a look. "I told you, I don't do politics. I do shopping, money and make-up. In that order."

"Then why are you interested in politics?" Hyde sneers.

"Mr. Forman?" I ignore Hyde.

"Well, all I can think about is maybe a caucus. You know, for electing representatives. But I don't know. All I know, is that I need to get to work."(1)

I look down at my pancakes. So much for getting answers about my father. Or my mother. Or anything.

Red gets up and puts his dishes in the sink, muttering to himself about dumbasses, twisted politics and ungrateful sons. I continue to stare at my uneaten pancakes. Now I really wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to offend Kitty so I pick up my fork and begin to eat anyways.

Just then, Fez walks through the sliding door into the Forman kitchen. "Good morning Mr. Red," he waves to Red. "What a beautiful day," he sits at the table and looks to Hyde. "So, what do we have planned for today?"

"Nothing man," Hyde shrugs. "Forman's back in bed being all depressed and I'm done feeling sorry. He needs to get off his ass."

I sigh audibly. It was just one problem after another. First, I have a fight with Michael. Then Donna leaves. Then Michael leaves too. Then I have no friends. Then my dad gives me the third degree. Then Eric is a mess. Then I have no friends. Again.

I finish what's left of my pancakes, suddenly remembering the money my dad gave me.

"Do you guys want to go shopping?" I ask excitedly. "My dad gave me lots of cash for breaking up with Michael."

"Jackie, you didn't break up with him. Kelso left _you_. Probably for some random beach trash," Hyde says.

"Wow, thanks for that unwelcome reminder, Hyde," I tell him. "But I still have money," I pull the wad of cash out of my pocket. "So, you guys in?" I ask.

"Well, I do need some more candy…" Fez says reluctantly.

"See," I say encouragingly. "Money solves everything. Hyde, what do you need?"

"Nothing, man. I'm not going," Hyde mumbles.

"Come on, Hyde. It's either our friend Eric who is depressed, or the annoying Jackie with money. How often is she willing to spend money on anyone but herself?" Fez argues.

"I'd rather stay with Forman," Hyde gets up and goes to bring his dish to the sink.

"The more the merrier." I add. "Pwease," I pout.

"Fine," Hyde grumbles. "Now will you two just stop?"(2)

I look at Fez across the table and hold out my hand for a high-five. "We got him," I tell him.

"I can't believe you made me buy you more t-shirts with my money," I whine to Hyde as we enter the Forman basement a few hours later.

"Hey, you bought Fez candy," Hyde says heading for his chair.

"Yeah, but Fez already has nice clothes. "You don't," I tell him.

Hyde doesn't dignify that with a response.

I sit down in the lawn chair and turn my attention to Fez on the couch. "Fez, what kind of candy did you pick out?"

"Mostly licorice. Some Laffy Taffy. A handful of pop rocks," Fez says dreamily.

"Ooh, want to see what I bought?" I walk by him to sit on the other side of the couch. I reach down and lift my bag from the floor. So I got this new sweater. Its green, see. So it'll bring out the color of my eyes," I nod eagerly.

"Yes, I see," Fez nods his head. "Very flattering. You know what would go great with that? A scarf."

"Oh my God, you're right. Wow, Fez," I grin. "I didn't know you had such fashion sense."

"I know," Fez blushes. "I have a keen sense of feminine style."

"Fez man, you're half a female as it is," Hyde says to him.

"Yeah, well, you are too, _Heidi_," Fez makes a face.

"Heidi?" I ask.

"Yes, Eric, Hyde and Kelso all have female alternative names. Erica, Heidi and Michelle," Fez laughs. Then on a more serious note, "But there's none for me," he says proudly.

Hyde leans forward in his chair. "That's because no one can pronounce your name."

"Well," I think. "'Steven' doesn't have a female alternative. Only your last name does," I tell Hyde. "But I like Heidi. I think I'll start calling you that."

"Do that and you'll become Jack," Hyde threatens. Then after a moment, he smiles. "Or Beulah."(3)

"Take that back, Heidi."

"No way, Beulah."

I lean back into the couch. "Fine, Steven."(4)

"Okay, Jackie," Hyde faces the TV once again.

"You guys are so weird," Fez says.

For the next few hours, we hang out in Eric's basement like we always have, only our group has been cut in half. Hyde puts on some of his loud, obnoxious music. I read one of my magazines I left on the coffee table. Fez eats a Popsicle.

I begin to think that maybe everything will be able to continue. Steven and Fez could actually be decent company when everyone else was gone. Especially –

"Steven? Jackie? Fez? Are you all down here?" Kitty interrupts my thoughts. I was kind of glad. The idea that had popped into my head made me shiver internally. No.(5)

Kitty shows up from the top of the stairs leading up to the kitchen. "Fez, your host parent's called. They want you to go home. Steven, dinner's almost ready."

"Mrs. Forman. Did my dad call?" I ask her.

Kitty gives me a sad smile. "No, sweetie. He didn't. But you're welcome to stay for dinner."

"Okay," I say, trying to conceal my disappointment. Sure, my dad said to be home before dark. And yes, it wasn't dark yet. But I thought maybe he might be concerned, even a little bit, from not hearing from me all day.

"I miss Kelso," Fez says all of a sudden.

Steven rubs his eyes with his hands underneath his sunglasses. "Yeah, I'm beginning to miss Forman."

I chime in. "I miss Donna." We let a moment pause. "This is going to be a long summer."

A moment passes again before Fez gets up. "Thanks for the candy, Jackie."

"Yeah," I say weakly.

Fez leaves and I lift my legs on to the couch where he was sitting. Then I twist my body to the side and lean down, resting my head on the armrest. I reach for one of my magazines, but I can't reach any of them. Within my reach however, is one of Donna's music magazines. Better than nothing. I reach for it and pick it up. Alice Cooper, with a snake wrapped up one of his arms takes up most of the cover. I look at the date of the publishing of the magazine, trying to remember if ABBA was in this issue. But the first thing my eyes come across is a telephone number. 555-9648.

I sit up straight on the couch holding the magazine in my hands staring at the number. ABBA was in this issue. I remember. Donna and Steven had complained about it only months earlier. Then Donna had received a phone call, and had traced the number across the cover of the magazine.

"It was my mom," she told me after she had hung up. It had been a few days since Midge had left Bob. "She told me I could call her any time and she gave me her number." But then Eric showed up in the basement and that ended the conversation.

Now I reach over the armrest I had just been leaning against and pick up the Forman's telephone and begin to dial the number.

"Hello?" A voice says. It sounds like Midge.

"Hi…" I stop myself from saying Mrs. Pinciotti. "It's Jackie. Is Donna there?"

Steven looks up at me, a surprised look on his face.

"Jackie? Oh, yeah, I remember you. You're the short, loud one, right?" Midge asks.

"Yes, I'm the short, loud one," I grumble. I hear Steven laugh at me. I toss the magazine at him.

"I'll see if I can find Donna. What about Michael?" Midge asks.

"No. No. I do NOT want to talk to Michael," I say quickly.

"Jackie?" Donna's voice comes all of a sudden.

"Donna?" I look at Steven. He raises his eyebrows.

"Oh my God, Jackie. Hi. What are you doing?" Donna says.

"I'm talking to you," I say.

"Well, yeah, I know. But what were you doing, I guess is the better question?" Donna laughs.

"I was just hanging out in Eric's basement. What else am I supposed to do?" I laugh too.

"Is Eric there?" Donna says, all traces of laughter gone from her voice.

"Um, no. Only Steven. Look Donna…" I turn away from Steven and face the record player. "Why would you leave?"

"Jackie, I had to. I couldn't stay there. I needed to get out of Point Place for a while," I hear the strain in Donna's voice.

"You're going to come back though, right?" I ask desperately.

"I, I don't know," Donna says after a long pause.

"Oh," I say, trying to keep my voice from trembling. Besides all the talk I'd given myself over the past two days about how I was going to use this summer for myself, part of the only reason I was able to convince myself of that was because I knew – I thought – it was only temporary.

I hear voices behind me, but I don't turn around. I don't catch what they're saying either, because Donna speaks up again. "Hey, but I'm sure Kelso will come back. His parents won't let him stay here forever."

"Uh, I don't care if that jerk spends the rest of his life in Fez's native land being chased by monkeys and eating bamboo. I'm through with Michael. I miss _you_, Donna. And Eric does too," I plead.

"Yeah, well, I doubt Eric misses me. But Jackie, this is about me. I need this. I need my mom," Donna explains.

"Well, I need my mom too, and she's never around either. I had my best friend instead, but now she's gone too," I snap back. I hadn't realized how true the words were until I said them.

"I'm sorry Jackie," Donna says and then the line goes dead.

I sit there for a moment, the shock of Donna hanging up on me sending a wave of unwelcome surprise through my entire body. I had understood why she left before, to get away from Eric. And I understood her wanting her mom. But whereas before I was upset that she had left me, now I was upset that she didn't want me.

Maybe it was irrational, but that was how it felt.

I drop the phone from my hand and lean my head in my hands, fighting back tears. I stay like that and I don't move. I don't ever want to move again. This feeling of loneliness wasn't passing, and I didn't want it too. Because it would always be there and damn it, I wanted a friend. I wanted someone to be there for me. Even my dad's money wasn't fixing this. Money couldn't buy friends, I knew that much.(6)

I feel the phone slip from my lap. Then, "Come on, Jackie." Steven's voice. I forgot that I wasn't alone.

I look up and see that Steven had hung the phone up again. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were here."

"Well, I do live here. And I sleep right down here," Steven says condescendingly. I don't respond. "Sorry. Mrs. Forman told me that dinner was ready. She told me to wait for you to get off the phone."

"I was talking to Donna," I tell him. I don't know why I tell him. He heard me.

Steven looks at me with an expression I can't read. It's not sympathy, exactly, but there's none of the annoyance I'm usually awarded with from him.

"I know," is all he says.

[Footnotes:]

1 – In my story, I will allude to Jackie's father getting sent to prison for bribery. This scene however, is more concerned with Jackie wondering where her mother is (which we know is Mexico), and why she would be at a political convention.

2 – This is (obviously) a direct reference to when Jackie and Hyde are actually a couple and she convinces him to go to the school dance with her by pleading with the word "pwease". More pre-Zen love.

3 – Do I even have to mention this one? J It's a reference from the Halloween episode where the gang finds their permanent records at their burned down elementary school. There are a few unintentional yet awesome Zen moments in that episode, but I just love how Hyde keeps teasing Jackie for her middle name "Beulah."

4 – This is also really important because I decided that this would be the mark for Jackie permanently referring to Hyde by his first name. We see from the start of season 5 on that Jackie always calls him by 'Steven'. Before that, she was constantly switching between 'Hyde' and 'Steven'.

5 – Yep. You guessed it right. Jackie's already realizing that Hyde makes a pretty good friend.

6 – I wanted to include this because there was something about the show that was always bothering me. Yes, I get it's a show, and it's all for comedic effect but still. I wondered a lot if Jackie ever was truly hurt by the way her friends treated her. I know she wasn't the greatest friend herself, but she did do things to help her friends. In fact, I can think of good things that she had done for every single one of her friends. One great example is when she decided that Donna needed a girl in her life when her mom leaves, and although Jackie messes up, she comes back and apologizes to Donna and promises to be there for her.


	4. Grand Freakin' Summer

Before we get to chapter four:

Alright... This is the first story I have ever published on , and for the first few chapters I've been pretty much stumbling around trying to figure out how to post chapters. I think I've pretty much gotten the hang of it now, and can finally include the disclaimer! In the first few chapters I hadn't realized how to do that exactly, but now I know I just have to type it into a new document. Anyways:

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters of That '70s Show. Nor do I own the intrinsic plot lines of the Jackie and Hyde relationship starting over the summer that Kelso and Donna were in California, or of the odd dynamic between Fez and Fenton. I do not own some of the character dialogue toward the end of this manuscript, it is straight from episode 1 and 2 of season five of the show. Certain parts of the manuscript were based off of past seasons, which I also have no ownership of. All this is accredited to the owners of the television show: The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC. All that I own is the sub-plot of this story and the text of this manuscript (besides that taken directly from the show).

On to chapter 4:

"You can take my job selling cheese," I cross my legs, leaning back against the couch in Eric's basement.

"Yeah, Jackie's right man, you could pass for a cheese maiden," Steven says to Fez.

Fez shifts positions in the lawn chair. "Oh, enough with the female jokes, Hyde," he pouts.

Fez's host parents were making him get a job the summer before his senior year. That's why they had called him home early last night. I had arrived at the basement this morning at the same time that Fez did, and I was eager to offer him my job.

"Well, I'm quitting anyway. And in that time I would have been working, I'm going to write Michael a well-thought out letter of exactly how I felt about him leaving. Starting with how much of a coward he is," I smile to myself.

"Hey, Fez is the one with the problem here," Fez points to himself.

"Right," I nod.

"Look, man. Getting a job isn't all that terrible," Steven shrugs. Fez and I both look at him, surprised to hear that coming from the token conspiracy nut. Steven seems to realize what he's said. "Ugh, I need a beer."

"But, but remember that time I tried working at the Foto Hut with you and Leo?" Fez says. "I got fired by Leo. By _Leo_," Fez emphasizes.

"Fez, that's because you need to get a job working at like, a jewelry store or something," Hyde sits back down, beer in hand.

I nod a Fez. "He's right. You do have a way with jewelry. Oh, and I think they're looking for people at that store down at the mall."

"What the hell, let's go," Fez stands up.

"Yay," I grab my purse. "I've been looking for an excuse to go buy myself some jewelry now that I have money again."

By the time Fez and I get to the mall, the parking lot is incredibly crowded. The inside of the mall is no different, but the jewelry store is exceptionally quiet.

The jewelry store was located between a shoe store and a lingerie store, and I had to pull Fez away from the latter.(1)

The jewelry store was covered in dark gray carpeting and the entire length of the store was lined with glass display cases sparkling with gold and silver jewelry and diamonds from the overhead lights. It was like it was from a dream.

"God, I haven't been in here in so long. I should have gotten a job here," I touch my hand over my heart. "Oh, Fez, look at that necklace," I point to one of the display cases.

"Where's someone who works here?" Fez ignores me, so I focus my attention back on the task at hand.

"I know all the employees, leave it to me," I tell Fez, walking to one of the cases where I recognized Stephanie Hilt, one of the employees standing.

"Jackie! Long time no see," Stephanie says as soon as she sees me.

"Hey Stephanie. How's business?" I ask her, making small talk.

"Same old, same old," she shrugs. "But I did get promoted to manager."

"Congratulations!" I grin. "So I assume that Help Wanted sign out front is for someone to replace your old spot as a sales employee, am I right?"

"You sure are," Stephanie's neatly manicured blond hair fell just below her shoulders and her signature pearl necklace rested over her collarbone.

"Well, Stephanie, I found the perfect person to take that job," I turn around and gesture towards Fez. "Meet Fez. He's foreign, and with the dark skin and accent, he's perfect for the ladies," I feel like I'm describing a prize on a game show. "Plus, he has a keen sense of feminine style, making him the perfect match for this job."

"Hello, Stephanie," Fez says politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Stephanie gives him a half smile before turning back to me. "Well, Jackie, there's no customer I trust better than you, so if you think Fez is the perfect choice, then I'll give him a chance. Welcome to the business of selling jewelry."

"Great," Fez rubs his hands together. "When do I start?"

Stephanie laughs, surprised. "How about now?"

An hour later I burst through the basement door. "I got Fez a job," I say in a singsong voice to Steven who is still sitting in his ratty old chair, watching TV. "And then I walked to the other side of the mall and quit my job. What a successful day!" I sit on the couch and pull the notebook and pen out of my purse that I packed in there this morning.

"Where is Fez?" Steven asks.

"Already working. You should have seen him, he fit right in. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to start selling candy necklaces," I joke.

Steven laughs. "Yeah. You should tell him that. He'll be fired in a week."

I click my pen and begin to write that letter to Michael I had been planning. I started by writing 'Dear Michael' but crossed that off quickly. I wasn't about to be polite to him, even through a letter. Instead I began it with:

If you are surprised to be getting this letter, than you need the stupid helmet more than anybody has ever realized…

And I went from there. It all came out. I told him what a coward he was for leaving after our engagement, and if he really didn't want to get married he should have said something then and there instead of running off and breaking my heart. And it wasn't just an angry letter either. I wrote to him about how neither of us fit together right. He was too weak-willed, and I was good at controlling, and that led us both to become unhappy because he never made any decisions for himself.

I told him we were through this time, and I wasn't going to give him a third chance; I never should have given him a second chance, because he broke my trust again, and this time it hurt twice as much, and he probably didn't even care.

I told him that there would be a girl out there that could help him make his own decisions and love him for who he was, and how I hoped there was a guy out there for me who would accept me and yet help me grow into a better person every day, and for whom I could do the same. But I wasn't that girl for him, and he wasn't that guy for me. So we would never work.

By the time I finish the letter and zone back in to my surroundings, I notice that Fez is already back from his first day of work. I glance out the small basement window and see that it is already growing dark.

"And there's this one guy who works next door at the lingerie store. His name's Fenton, and he's always marching back and forth between the two stores. And I tell you, brother, he's not easy to like. He's the one downside to this job," Fez shakes his head.

Steven nods in agreement. "Yeah, man. There's always going to be that one guy that's out to get you. But you can't let him get under your skin Fez. If he does that it means your letting the corporate America brainwashed ninnies(2) get to you."

"God forbid," I mutter. Steven and his conspiracies. I suppressed rolling my eyes.

"Welcome back, space cadet," Steven looks at me. "Where've you been for the past four hours?"

"Sitting on this couch," I say confused. "Fez, when did you get here?"

"Hmmm, about twenty minutes ago."

"Wow, where _have_ I been?" I frown.

"Anyways, I owe it to you guys," Fez nods at Steven and I. "Hyde, for the idea of working in a jewelry store, and Jackie for finding the one for me. I found a job that I love, and now my host parents will get off my back. Cheers!"

Fez leans forward and pulls a beer from a six pack sitting on the table. Steven and I do the same.

"Here's to a grand freakin' summer," Steven says, pulling the tab on his beer.

_A grand freakin' summer_. Never had I thought I could have a summer like that without Donna and Michael. But all of a sudden I felt inspired to do exactly that.

"Amen to that, brother," Fez nods.

I told myself I was going to make this summer count, and now it was starting.

I clack my can against both of theirs. "Let's make it happen."

[Footnotes:]

1 – So, in season five, Fenton is introduced and it is told that he and Fez have some history, and it is given with some very strange clues. Well, in my story I have decided to delve into this. The story is primarily about Jackie and Hyde, but the whole gang is important, so this was a good way to give Fez a story line. Plus for me, it helps make the rivalry between Fez and Fenton more real by having an actual backstory for it. A side note: the clues given in that episode (No Quarter) are very vague and odd. So where this story goes will be kind of weird as well. My apologies in advance. I was backed into a corner with this one.

2 – As previously mentioned, I own none of the characters or setting, and lots of the plot is heavily influenced by parts of the show. Hence, I stole this line directly from TV Hyde's mouth; it is not a creation of my own.


	5. Corvettes and Grasshoppers

Author's Note: I am working on a new story about Jackie and Hyde. It's this same story, except it is slightly more condensed and narrated from Hyde's POV. I want to thank nellies5446 for inspiring me and encouraging to write more, and from Hyde's POV. So thank you! The first chapter is up and it is called The Renewal: Through the Eyes of Steven Hyde. So if you'd like to check it out, I'd love that. Okay. Now here is chapter five of this story:

o-o-o-o-o

You can be inspired to do something, but it means nothing if you don't have motivation. And although I had numerous hits of inspiration in the days after Donna and Michal had left, any motivation I had didn't make it past the first week. It was just too easy to fall back into the routine I had been living in for countless years, even without Donna and Michael.

In fact, it was almost as if nothing changed. I still spent little to no time at my house, and spent perhaps even more time than before at the Forman's house. Before I spent time split between Donna's and Eric's homes, but since Donna was no longer in the next door Pinciotti residence, I no longer had any purpose to go there. Eric and Steven both lived in the Forman house, and when Fez wasn't working he too was in Eric's basement. I suspected that he, like me, spent very little time at his home.

I slowly began to realize, that in the past several years as time went on, although I hadn't realized it, I wasn't only hanging out with Donna and Michael while the others were there, but I had been hanging out with Eric, Steven and Fez as well.

This had first come to my attention when, after a few weeks into summer, I decided it would be wise to hang out with Leslie Cannon, the cheerleader, purely out of show for my parents. It had occurred to me that I hadn't hung out with another cheerleader just to 'hang out' for as long as I could remember. Plus, my parents, or rather, my father, since my mother still wasn't home yet, had been giving me odd looks when day after day I told him I was going to hang out with Donna. I suspected it was because before Michael had been my excuse. But I had told him we had broken up, which was true, so I could no longer say I was going to see him.

Speaking of Michael, I had sent him my letter the very next morning, having rewritten it on a piece of stationary and without any scratched out errors. Five days later I had received a phone call early one morning.

"Jackie, a friend," my father had called me from downstairs in what sounded like the living room, seconds after the phone had stopped ringing.

I scampered down the stairs, still in my nightgown. "Hello?" I picked up the receiver.

"Jackie, its me," I heard Donna's voice, crackled and filled with static from hundreds of miles away. The sound of her voice brought images of my lumberjack friend in her jeans and with her straight red hair to the edges of my memory. "I just thought I'd call to tell you, well, Kelso got your letter in the mail last night. He acted like he didn't care about what it said, but I could tell he was upset."

"Yeah," was all I managed to say.

"Jackie, what did you put in that letter?" Donna says after a moment.

I sigh and turn away from my father, all too aware that he was trying to garner as much information from one side of the conversation as he could.

I try to be subtle. "I said it was never going to work…it was permanently broken." I think some more and add. "In fact, after I had thought about it, there had never been any true compatibility."

I knew my father wasn't stupid and that he probably knew exactly what I was talking about, but maybe my subtlety would have tipped him off that this was a private conversation. But no, after Donna and I had hung up, he was still standing right behind me, in no way trying to conceal his snooping.

"I'm going to Donna's," I said and marched out the door.

o-o-o-o-o

A week later was when I had hung out with Leslie Cannon. I had invited her over to my house, to shove it in my father's face that I was still his precious little cheerleader. My mom, still a no show.

I told Leslie that she should come over for lunch and that we should maybe work on some cheers for varsity cheerleading tryouts for our junior year. Leslie too was aiming for captain, which didn't make me happy, but I reminded myself that I wasn't doing this because I liked her in the first place, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Sure enough, Leslie drove up in my driveway exactly at noon, her shiny new blue Corvette winding its way up my driveway.

When I saw her car my jaw dropped.

"Jackie," Leslie said by way of greeting when I opened the door to let her inside.

"Nice wheels," I told her. Maybe I didn't like her, but we did have one thing in common: we both had an affinity for cars. "Did you by any chance buy that car from Red Forman?" I ask her.1

Leslie nods her head at me. "Yes. Can you believe it? When I went on that one date with his son, the 'uh, buh' kid, Eric? He told me it was his car. But it was his father's. What a loser."

I suppress a flare of anger. "He was just trying to impress you, Leslie," I defend him.

"Whatever," Leslie says. "So, are we going to cheer, or what?"

The housekeeper, Lena, made Leslie and I lunch, and we practiced some new, more difficult varsity cheers for a few hours. We made an appearance to my father in his office, and then two minutes after Leslie left, I left two, racing down the driveway in my Lincoln.

Just because I had defended Eric didn't mean I didn't appreciate a good burn. After all, I was Jackie Burkhart.

Upon arriving at the Forman's, I head straight for the basement, momentarily so caught up in the burn that I forgot that Eric was never down there anymore.

Only Steven was down there. Fez was probably at work.

"Where's Eric?" I say as soon as I enter.

"In bed, where he's been for the past two weeks. Why?" Steven looks up at me from the TV. He frowns. "Why are you wearing that? We're not in school right now."

I look down at myself, realizing that I forgot to change out of my cheer uniform. I ignore him. "I've got a burn to give him."

This grabs Steven's attention. "What?"

"Never mind you, it has to do with Eric," I head for the stairs.

"All the more reason for you to tell me," Steven follows me up the stairs.

I march all the way up to Eric's room, Steven still behind me. I knock a few times.

"Here, let me. He won't let you in," Steven says. "Forman, open up."

"Go away, Hyde," a voice responds from inside.

Steven opens the door, taking Eric's response as validation to enter.

"We've got a burn for you, buddy," Steven sits on the edge of Eric's bed.

"Um, excuse me, I'm the one with the burn," I point to myself. "Me."

I was beginning to think that we took these burns way too seriously.

Steven rolls his eyes at me. "Spill."

"Eric, do you know who bought your dad's Corvette?" I ask him. Eric doesn't respond. I wait a moment before giving the answer. "The one and only, Leslie Cannon."

Steven falls off of Eric's bed, he's laughing so hard. Eric just looks at me with a blank look.

"What part about that was supposed to make me feel better?" he asks.

I cross my arms, exasperated. "No part of it was supposed to make you feel better. Because it was a burn," I say the last part slowly. "And come on, even you've got to appreciate the unexpected twist."

Steven stands up again. "The unexpected twist? Man, this just shows that the universe really is against you, Forman."

"Thanks Hyde," Eric grins sarcastically before covering his head with his pillow once more, blocking us back out again.

o-o-o-o-o

That was how most of the summer would come to pass. Me, Steven and Fez, when he wasn't working. And occasionally the forced interaction with Eric. I tried calling Donna once or twice more, but our conversations were clipped, and she was always the first once to say 'bye.' I not once talked to Michael, and I was glad.

I spent a lot of time with Kitty too. She taught me some things, like how to bake a pie. She had done that once a few years ago, but I had closed her off quickly. I managed not to burn my pie this time, although it wasn't even close to tasting as good as one of hers. She did motherly things for me too. I had since told her that my mom hadn't been home in weeks, and I had no idea where she was, or when she was coming home. It reminded me of when she had done the same for Donna a few months back, and I felt bad about being a bitch about it back then. Kitty took me to the movies, and we went for manicures and pedicures once too, on me. She even listened to me too.

About three weeks after Donna and Michael left, Kitty and I sat in her kitchen one night after dinner. I had been spending many dinners with the Forman family (not all, but many), and Red hadn't complained about me yet, so I didn't feel bad. Kitty had a glass of wine and I had a glass of the sparkling cider that she had poured me a glass of.

"Jackie, you look upset," Kitty said bluntly.

I look up, surprised. "How could you tell?"

Kitty thought about it. "Well, you're chipping your nail polish, first of all, which I know Jackie Burkhart would never do. So, what's up? I'm here to listen."

I sigh. "It's been three weeks since Donna and Michael left and I had told myself that I was going to make this summer count and finally make some life changes, but I haven't done that yet. I don't know how."

"Well," Kitty says, seriously. "Your first problem is that you keep referring to that time from three weeks ago as 'when Donna and Michael left.' There is some negative connotation to that. So," Kitty claps her hands excitedly. "I know. We'll instead call it The Renewal. That way you will be more encouraged to make these so-called changes."

"Okay," I go along with it. "So, it's been three weeks since the start of The Renewal. But I feel like everyone's been renewed except for me. Everyone's changed."

"Like who? Who's changed?" Kitty asks.

"Well," I think immediately to Steven and Fez, who I've spent most my time with. "Steven grew that beard. Fez got a job," I begin. "Donna's spending time with her mom. And even though Eric's upset that she's gone, he has learned something. That Donna is the only girl for him."

"I see the problem here," Kitty nods, assertively. "First of all, growing a beard doesn't count as change. At least not in the context that we're referring to. Steven made a physical change to his appearance, not an emotional one, like you're referring to.

"And yes, Fez got a job. But you helped him find it, right? And that wasn't a conscious decision that he made. His host parents made him get a job. When you got a job it was a conscious decision that you made so that you could keep something else.

"As for Donna. Yes. She did make a big change. She left, and that takes courage, courage that a lot of people in this world don't have. A lot of people. But it's not all positive. Donna ran away from her problems instead of trying to fix them. Michael did the same, and that is somewhat cowardly of the both of them.

"And you're also right about Eric learning something about himself. That he is meant to be with Donna. But you did the same thing Jackie. Maybe you didn't learn who you're meant to be with, but you learned that Michael isn't him. And that puts you one step closer to finding the one. And that's closer than many people will ever get.

"And while Eric has taken this newfound information, he has allowed it to make him miserable and wallow in bed all day every day. You've taken this information head on. Jackie, you get up and get dressed every day and face your problems, unlike Eric. I love him, but you have proven to be stronger than him in this respect.

"You've been having a tough summer Jackie. And I'd be a liar if I said it was going to get easier. Because the reality is that it doesn't get easier. You just get used to it. Jackie, the way I see it, you've lost the most this summer, and you've changed the most. You _have_ been renewed, and you don't even realize it."

I felt an unwanted tear slip from my eye. Kitty made total sense, and suddenly a wave of relief washed over me. Of course I realized that one could interpret that in a completely different direction, but I wanted to believe Kitty's version so badly. And I felt I had the right to believe it. So I did.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Forman. You are the best mother anyone could ask for," I tell her earnestly.

Kitty gives me a small smile. "I don't know about that, sweetie, but I do try." Then she pats my hand. "Tell you what, it's getting late, but tomorrow morning how about I teach you how to make brownies. Brownies make everything better."

I nod. "I'd love that."

And the next morning, bright and early at seven o'clock like we had decided on, I showed up at the Forman house.

In the kitchen however, I found a sheet of notebook paper addressed to me lying on the counter. It read:

Jackie – I got called into the hospital this morning to take the shift of a nurse who fell unexpectedly ill. I should be home by noon, if you are willing to wait to make brownies. Mrs. Forman.

I decide to wait. I really wanted to learn to make brownies. I turn around and look at the counter. There is a large mixing bowl with a sheet of paper inside and various baking ingredients displayed on the counter. I pick up the sheet of paper in the bowl. It reads: BROWNIE RECIPE.

I think it was safe to say that Kitty had been looking forward to this too.

I smile to myself and walk into the Forman living room, figuring that I'll just watch TV, but Red is already in there, dressed for work.

"Oh, what are you doing here already?" he whines. "This isn't a damn daycare center."

I cross my arms. "Fine. I'll just go in the basement," I spin on my heel and head downstairs.

No one is in the basement, but I figure that it is too early for normal teenagers to be up in the middle of the summer at this hour anyway. So I sit on the couch and begin flipping through the channels. There is nothing on except for the weather and re-runs of The Brady Bunch, so I settle with the Brady's.

But it was that episode where they go to Hawaii and Gregg falls into the water. I roll my eyes. It seemed like this was the only episode that was ever on TV. I begin to fall asleep ten minutes into the episode, before Gregg's epic fall. It was somewhere around when that gross spider creeps into Jan's bag.

"Seriously? Why are you here so early today?" I hear Steven's voice reverberate loudly from behind me. He comes around and sits on his chair. "Ugh, this show is crap."

"I know," I say groggily. "It's the only thing on at seven thirty in the morning. I'm surprised you're up so early."

Steven gives me a grumpy look. "The screams of the Brady family when Gregg falls in the water woke me. Again, why are you here so early today?"

I furrow my brows. Something about how he said the word 'today' was unsettling. But upon further thought I realized that I actually had been here every single day since Don – The Renewal.

"Mrs. Forman was going to teach me how to make brownies. But she had to go to the hospital to work so I have to wait until later," I explain.

"Wait. You don't know how to make brownies?" Steven sneers.

"What? And I suppose you do?" I say in my defense.

He looks at me as if I'm really slow. "Every burnout in America knows how to make brownies. Especially the special kind."

"Right, I forgot about that," I roll my eyes. "Of course."

Steven's silent for a moment. Then he gets up and goes to his room. He comes back out with a paper bag. "Did Mrs. Forman take out the ingredients already?"

"Yes," I frown. "Why?"

"Has Mrs. Forman ever told you that brownies make everything better?" Steven grins.

I think to last night. "Yeah. Again, why?"

"Well, special brownies make things even better. And I've been meaning to make some to help Forman. And since Mrs. Forman already took everything out, I figured that now's as good a time as any. Come on, I'll teach you," Steven explains.

"Seriously?" I say, disbelieving.

Steven just shrugs and moves to the stairs. "It's up to you." I follow him up the stairs. He sees the ingredients and smiles. "Alright, time to make some special brownies."

"Careful, Red's in there," I whisper, pointing to the living room door.

"Crap," Steven mutters, shoving the paper bag in his pocket. Then he walks over the mixing bowl and pulls out the recipe. "Alright, Mrs. Forman's recipe and everything. Okay, young grasshopper. Your first lesson was Zen, your second is brownies. Are you ready for this?"

"Ugh, if this is anything like your 'Zen' lesson, then I might as well wait for Mrs. Forman," I sigh.

"But will Mrs. Forman teach you how to make the special kind?"

"Okay, fine," I cross my arms. "What do I do?"

"Here. Crack two eggs into the mixing bowl," Steven passes me a carton of eggs before turning back to the mixing bowl.

"You're kidding right?" I hold the carton at arm's length. I get no response. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"

"What's the fun in that?" Steven goes after the butter.

"But these are eggs. They came out of a chicken butt. I can't touch that," I complain.

"But you have before," is all he says. He drops the butter in the mixing bowl and moves on to the next ingredient. I'm still standing there holding the eggs.

"What? No I haven't. And how would you know if I did anyways?" I say, exasperated.

"Okay, same rules apply as your last lesson. No questions," the he turns around. "And yeah, you have touched an egg before. Remember when you gave Kelso that egg to babysit? The one I broke? Right before the two of you got back together?"2

I had forgotten about that egg. "Yeah, well, I had been wearing gloves, and wait –you broke the egg?" I realize what he said.

"Whoops, guess you didn't know that part," Steven just grins at ratting out Michael.

"What?" is all I manage.

Now he looks exasperated. "Look, if you crack those eggs I'll tell you what happened."

The curiosity gets the best of me. I place the carton of eggs on the counter and crack two of them into the bowl as fast as I can. Then I go wash my hands.

"Kelso brought the egg to the basement and said we should pass it back and forth before he went and threw it at something. Then Donna showed up to tell him about your crazy plan. Lucky for me, I was holding the egg, and…come on, you'd do the same thing," Steven puts the last of the ingredients in the mixing bowl and then begins to stir.

I turn off the sink, my hands burning from the scalding water. Then he passes me the mixing bowl. I begin to stir, thinking. "Donna's got a big mouth. She always told me that I shouldn't get back together with Michael after he cheated on me, and then she went and increased his chances of getting back with me." I finish mixing and then put the bowl back on the counter. "Okay. Enough talk about Michael. What's the next part of my lesson?"

"Go guard the door," Steven says quickly.

"What?" I say, but do it anyway.

"Really? What did I say about questions?" he snaps. Once I get to the door, however, he pulls out the paper bag and adds the 'special ingredient.' "Now mix again," he says handing me the bowl. "Quick."

As I mix, he goes and grabs a soda from the fridge. I suspected there wasn't any beer. When I finish mixing, I put the bowl down. Steven goes and sits on the chair by the phone.

"Now, lucky for you," he says, "Mrs. Forman already greased the brownie pan. I suspect that wouldn't have gone over well with you. Now all you have to do is pour the batter into the pan."

I tilt the mixing bowl at an angle and begin to pour. I watch it spread evenly throughout the pan.

"Use this to get all the extra batter out," Steven shows up with a rubber looking spatula.

Once I finish that he tells me to stick it in the oven. "Now, I preheated the oven when we started. You should always do that first so that you don't have to wait for the oven to heat up once your batter is made. Now go check how long Mrs. Forman's recipe says to put them in for."

I check. 42 minutes. Steven makes me figure out how to use Mrs. Forman's timer on my own.

"Come on, while that bakes let's go see if Gregg has recovered yet," Steven grabs his soda and goes down to the basement. "Bring the timer. I don't want that stash to have been wasted."

By the time we get back down, Gregg has already recovered, and he, Bobby and Peter have already been trapped by that creepy old guy. I almost fall asleep again, and I practically jump ten feet in the air when the timer screams at me 42 minutes later.

"Go get your brownies out of the oven," Steven says. He's completely disregarded the TV at this point and is instead reading one of his The Stones magazines. "Don't forget to wear oven mitts."

I drag myself upstairs, still pretty tired from my almost-nap. I pull on the oven mitts and remove the brownies from the oven. I put them on the counter and sniff. The only scent was of chocolate.

Steven shows up at the top of the stairs a few moments later. "I'll go get Forman," he says, and takes off into the living room. A few moments later I hear a loud thump from the upstairs. Then, "Jackie, could use some help up here!"

I scramble up the stairs to Eric's room. Steven's got him by both of the ankles and Eric is sprawled across the floor.

"If you wanted my help all you had to do was ask," I mutter. I move to Eric's head and grab his wrists. "Let's go," I sigh.

Somehow we manage to get Eric all the way to the basement. Although, by the time we got to the kitchen and he saw that the brownies were not some fictional ruse to get him out of bed he walked down to the basement without any further assistance.

About half an hour later, the three of us were sitting in a Circle.

Eric gives off a mellow laugh. "Man. My mom's right. Brownies make everything better."

Steven grins at Eric. "Or, as I like to say, special brownies make everything better."

I laugh. "Eric, your mom is so cool."

Steven points at me. "Okay, last part of your lesson, young grasshopper. Look at Forman. Twenty minutes ago he was a lifeless lump his bed. See how the brownies have wakened him?"

I look at Eric. He laughs. "Grasshopper, ha. Jackie you're a bug."

"Yeah," I look at Steven. "He's so much better now," I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey, I could be moaning about Donna," Eric looks down at his feet. Then he looks back up all of a sudden. "Hyde, you've got brownie all over your face, man."

Steven looks at me again. "Okay, so he's not perfect. But he's better." Then he turns back to Forman. "It's a beard man, come on."

"Hmmm," Eric looks deep in thought. "There's something missing here. Where's Fez?"

"He's at work," I tell Eric. "He works at a jewelry store." I feel the high of the brownie wearing off.

"And Jackie. Why are you being so nice?" Eric asks, his voice rising an octave.

I laugh. "Okay, Eric. I think you've had too much brownie if you think I'm being nice."

Eric looks to Steven. He just shrugs. Eric thinks again. "A lot's changed," he decides.

I realize that he's right. To an outsider, it might seem as if things were still the same, especially for the three of us, sitting here in the basement like we have been for so long, and would probably still be doing years from now. But somehow I feel like because we were still there, we had changed more than the rest.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – In the show we never do find out who bought Red's Corvette. So I just decided to add a little twist. J

2 – I like to think that it was Hyde's subconscious telling him to crack that egg Jackie gave Kelso not to burn Kelso but so he couldn't get back together with Jackie. Like, maybe his sub-conscious realized he liked Jackie before he himself did.


	6. Our Kids

"Fenton is trying to take from me what was given to me by God himself," Fez groans one afternoon as he dreads going to work.

I cross over from the record player and sit on the couch. "Fez, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit?"

"No!" Fez whines. "I'm supposed to be the king of the jewelry store. That's my tactic for getting the ladies. Like Stephanie, my boss," Fez explains. "But Fenton is constantly showing up from next door and is always showing off all his knowledge about jewelry."

Steven frowns. "You can have knowledge about jewelry?"

"Well, maybe this Fenton guy is also trying to get Stephanie to notice him," I suggest.

"No," Fez looks down. "I even asked him that. He said that she wasn't his type."

I just shrug and pick up a magazine from the coffee table.

There is a moment of silence. Then, "I need candy." And Fez storms out the basement.

"Eric still in bed?" I ask Steven, once Fez is gone.

He nods his head. "Man, if special brownies can't save his ass, then nothing can."

"Why do you care so much?" I look up from my magazine. "I mean, I'd understand why anybody else would care. But you're supposed to be the one with no emotions."

Steven looks at me like I'm crazy. I lift up my hands in defense. "It's true."

Steven doesn't dignify that with a response. So I turn back to my magazine. I just finish an article on how to coordinate lip gloss with your outfit and am about to flip the page when Steven throws the magazine he had been reading across the room. It hits the wall and falls behind the TV.

"Crap," he mutters.

I look at him, confused. "Are you alright?"

Steven looks at me, distracted. I can tell he didn't hear a single thing I said. "What?" he asks.

"Was that just one of those angry outbursts people like you get?"

"Jackie, what the hell are you talking about?" Steven says losing patience.

Well, I was losing patience with him. I sigh, closing my magazine and put it on the table. "Okay," I start. "In our group, everyone categorically matches a different personality. As I was just saying before, Steven, you're the one with no emotions. You're the burnout. Me, I'm the shallow bitch. Eric is the spineless geek, Michael is the stupid one, Donna is the crazy feminist, and Fez is the confused foreign one. See?" I clap my hands together.

"You're not a shallow bitch," is all he says.

"Yeah, I am. And I've come to accept it," I nod.

"Oh, no," Steven looks down at his magazine. "No. You a_ct _like a shallow bitch, but I can tell that all the things that you say that may be classified that way you don't actually mean. You pretend to be a bitch, but you aren't in actuality. In reality, there's a lot more gray then in your black and white version."1

I cross my arms skeptically. "Go on."

Steven sighs, spinning in his chair to face me. "Yes, you're right that I'm the burnout. But as you observed, I do care about Forman. He's like the brother I never had. I'm not heartless," he says wryly.

"And as for Forman. Yeah, he's a spineless weakling who loves Star Wars way too much, but if that's all he cared about, he wouldn't be spending all summer locked up in his room.

"Kelso is incredibly stupid, but he also knows how to have fun more than anyone that I know. Donna may be a crazy feminist, but her intentions are good and she's smart. And Fez – "

As if by the sound of his name, Fez saunters back into the basement and sits in the lawn chair, now holding a bag of candy. "Well yeah. Fez really is just that horny, confused foreigner."

Fez, completely unaware of our conversation nods along. "Right you are, amigo."

I think about everything Steven has just said, and what Kitty had told me a few days ago. They had both taken two ideas that I had believed so wholeheartedly and changed those indoctrinations so entirely that my world had begun to spin on a whole new axis. From Kitty I learned that change didn't have to make an obvious physical appearance, and that most the time, the changes that really mattered were really only obvious to yourself and that was okay. From Steven I learned that of course, it didn't even make since that the world would black and white. Because opposites attract and eventually that black and white would get so close that they would mix and form a whole new genus: gray. Steven hadn't told me anything that I didn't know about any of our friends or ourselves. He just put it in perspective. But the more I thought about it, the quicker I began to realize that there was something about myself that Steven hadn't picked up on and that I had just realized.

I was naïve and my world was shrouded in complete and utter ignorance.

o-o-o-o-o

"Steven, Jackie, dinner's ready," was now a commonly heard phrase heard in the Forman household each evening. By that time, Fez was either working, or had gone home for dinner, and Kitty and Red still did not mind my presence. It was no different that night.

"It's burger night," Steven says as we make our way up the stairs.

"You think Eric will show?" I ask him.

"For burgers? Nah. Maybe once he would've, but not today."

We make it to the kitchen, and sure enough, it was burger night. Kitty had all the burgers set out on a plate over the stove, and all the condiments from mustard to lettuce and the buns spread out across the rest of the island. Kitty's meals never failed to surprise me. They were always so…elaborate. She never did things halfway. I had begun to realize that with Kitty it was go hard or go home.

I made my burger and then took 'my seat'. I had never realized before that the Forman's all had their own seat assignments. It was one of the many small details I had learned about this family since The Renewal. First was Red, then Laurie when she was home, then Steven, then Kitty, then Eric, and then now there was me next to 'Eric'.

But we all knew that Eric never came down for any meals, yet every night Kitty set out a plate at his seat, and I respected that and pulled up my chair on the other side of his.

"So," Kitty pulls her chair in and joins the rest of us. "What's new?" she says to no one in particular. No one says anything. "Red?" Kitty looks to her husband.

Red sighs and puts his fork down. He doesn't look to happy. "Nothing is new, Kitty. Look around. Who knows where our daughter is? And we all know where our son is. We always know where he is. And for the past several weeks, although we've been feeding two kids every night, Jackie is not our daughter, and Steven is not our son."

Steven, who was looking at Red, now looks down at his plate. I do the same.

"Okay," Kitty gives off one of her uncomfortable laughs. "Steven. Jackie. What's new with you two?"

I'm somewhat afraid to say something because of Red, but thankfully Steven speaks up. "We're going to see Fez after dinner. It's Wednesday so that means he has the late shift at the store," he shares the plans we had made earlier.

I speak up now. "Yeah, he has this…co-worker of sorts that he has trouble with, so we're going to give him some moral support."

"How very kind of you two. You should bring Eric along. He could use some fresh air," Kitty smiles.

We all look down at our food again, uncomfortable. We all knew, even Kitty, that Eric would not be going to the store with us. Kitty sighs audibly, and I begin to wonder if she has been having a rough summer too, with Laurie supposedly in Canada, and a son that she can't seem to fix.

I look up at her. The lines in her forehead stand out more than I've ever noticed, and she has dark, purple circles lining the bottom of her eyes, as if all the missing sleep she has surely suffered has collected in concentration just above her cheeks.

The thought of Kitty being sad brings a wave of sorrow over me, stronger than I expect.

After dinner I help Kitty with the dishes while Steven, more for show than anything, makes a last ditch effort to get Eric to come with us.

Steven flies back into the kitchen and immediately heads for the sliding door. "Let's go, Jackie."

I grab a towel and dry off my hands. "Is Eric coming with us?"

Steven just shakes his head.

Red, still sitting at the kitchen table shakes his head. "Dumbass," he mutters.

I frown. "Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Forman," tell her before following Steven out to his car.

"What's crawled up Red's ass and died up there?" Steven says as he navigates out of the driveway.

"His foot," I say instinctively.

Steven lets out a surprised laugh. "Good one," he says, giving me a high five.

"Well," I say, still trying to joke around while trying to get to the truth. "He wants to put his foot in Eric's ass so badly, but he can't because he's in bed. And you haven't gotten into any trouble, Fez is always working, and Michael's not here. So, in his own ass it went."

"Oh, and I take it that you and Donna are perfect?"

"Damn it," I shrug. "I was hoping you wouldn't catch on."

"Well, you're right. Red hasn't put his foot in many asses this summer."

"Hmm, just another change, I guess," I think out loud.

"Change?" Steven glances at me.

"Oh, nothing," I say quickly, realizing he probably had no idea what I was going off about.

The mall isn't very crowded, but that wasn't surprising for a Wednesday night. Steven and I have no trouble getting to the jewelry store.

"I guess that's where that Fenton guy must work," I point to the front of the lingerie store as we walk by it.

Steven glances ahead. "Huh. So it's really _right_ next door to the jewelry store." He looks at the lingerie store. "So, if Fenton works there, then he's a step ahead of Fez in the competition."

"What competition?" I ask as we enter the jewelry store.

"For that chick. Sophie, or something? His boss?"

We spot Fez and begin to walk that way. "But Fez said that Fenton said _Stephanie_ wasn't his type." I contest.

"That's a load of crap," he stops before we reach Fez. "If she's got boobs then she's any guy's type."

"What?" I say incredulously. "You are so gross."

Steven just shrugs. "It's the truth. Okay, before we go see Fez, which one is she?"

I point to Stephanie's blond head. "Her."

"Do you know her?"

I shrug. "I am Stephanie Hilt's favorite customer."

"Of course," Steven rolls his eyes. "Okay, we're going to help Fez. Go talk to her while I prep Fez." Then he pushes me forward before taking off toward Fez.

"Hey, Stephanie," I approach her. She is sitting at a table behind one of the display cases doing some paperwork. She looks sophisticated in her glasses and signature pearls.

"Jackie, here to buy anything?" she glances up from her paperwork.

"Well, you know me, I can't go to the mall without buying anything," I laugh. "But actually, I was hoping I could talk to you."

"Yeah, okay," Stephanie stands up and walks to the display case.

"How's Fez doing?"

"Oh," she puts a hand over her heart. "You were so right. He does have a gift with jewelry, and all the female customers love him. He gets a lot of attention," she says approvingly.

"Yeah, but he really only wants attention from one person," I say subtly.

"Who's that?" Stephanie asks, not following.

"You!" I say. "He likes you. You should talk to him, get to know him. And if you do it now, you could have my moral support."

Stephanie looks over to where Fez is standing. Steven has already finished talking to him and is standing off to the side.

"Well, okay," Stephanie agrees.

I try to hide my surprise at how willing she was to go along with this. "Great. I'm going to go stand over there with my friend. Just call me if you need any support."

She nods and I scurry over to where Steven is standing. "She agreed to talk to him," I beam. Then I turn around and look at Fez and Stephanie.

They begin to talk, but we are too far away to catch anything they say. Fez's back is to us, but at one point, when he crosses his arms to his back, he gives us a thumbs up.

"Yes!" I say softly, spinning in a circle.

"You know," Steven shakes his head. "Fez could be such a ladies man if he wasn't such a…" he's at a loss for words.

I think about our conversation earlier that day. "Confused foreigner?"

Steven gives me a quick grin. "Exactly."

o-o-o-o-o

I learned a lot more that summer. The way I began to think about certain people had changed entirely, and I found friends in people that I had thought little of beforehand.

The next day I received some unsettling news about my mother, and shortly thereafter some more harrowing news from Donna. I felt crushed, all over again, but I found solace in unexpected measures.

And this is what I learned:

No matter if the horizon holds promise or despair, life goes on. And whether or not you like it you learn to live with it. You get up every day, and you might sing with joy or clench your teeth in restraint, but you just keep going. That's all any of us know how to do. And so we do it.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – Like in the episode of the Veteran's Day cook-out (Jackie Bags Hyde, season 3 episode 8), Hyde doesn't tolerate people calling Jackie a 'bitch.' It really upsets him now, when she now is the one calling herself that. And just like when Chip called her that, he says "oh no." Only this time, instead of punching Jackie like he punched Chip, he tells her why she is in fact, NOT a bitch.


	7. Bad Mood

Here is Chapter 7. I'm still working on chapter 2 from Hyde's point of view for my other story. I had two exams this week, so I've been really busy. Finals are coming up in a few weeks as well, so that story will probably come around slowly. But with Thanksgiving break next week, I can hopefully get more time to work on it. This story, though, will continue to have its two chapter weekly updates since I completed this whole story before I published the first chapter. So without further ado...Chapter 7: Bad Mood.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I wake up to the sound of shouting voices the next morning.

"Well, I don't care what you think Pam, you do what a good wife and mother is supposed to do and come home to your family," I hear my father's stern voice rise up from the first floor.

I immediately close my eyes. There it was. The confirmation of what I already knew. My mom had no intentions of coming home anytime soon. And the confirmation hit so strongly that I felt nothing. The truth was that I remained an insignificant girl living in an insignificant town with an insignificant story to tell to absolutely no one.

"I don't care if my financial status no longer acquires to your taste, Pam," I hear my father practically spit, and the mention of money causes me to sit straight up. With my father, money meant work, and I was still curious about these political conventions of the City Councilman.

I quickly jump out of my bed, and in my bare feet, I silently move down the hallway to the top of the stairs. I peek around the corner, but my father isn't standing anywhere near the bottom of the stairs. I reach for the banister, and slowly begin to work my way down the staircase.

"Just because I ran into some trouble at work doesn't mean we're going to lose everything. And I don't want to lose my wife either," my father pleads.

I freeze, my foot halfway down another step. Ice runs through my veins, freezing my body in its place. I feel my heart pause in its rhythm, and then make one large thump as it maintains a steady beat again.

_Lose everything_.

"Well, Mexico may have all the alcoholic beverages in the world, Pam, but when you run out of money it won't matter. You need to come home."

Mexico?

I begin to feel my body thaw, and start to move back the way I came. But then I hear the phone get slammed back onto the receiver, and suddenly I'm filled with a sense of confidence. Confidence and rage at my father for refusing to tell me anything about how our family was falling apart.

"Dad," I say loudly, making it to the landing and then finding him standing in one of his business suits in the living room. He has the bridge of his nose pinched between his thumb and index finger, and his eyes are squeezed shut.

"Dad," I say again, and this time his eyes open.

"Jackie – " he starts.

"Mom is in Mexico?" I say. "And you didn't have the nerve to tell me?" I say accusingly. "Something that I have the right to know – that I _should_ know?"

"Your mother didn't want you to know. Jackie, she will come home," my father says soothingly.

"That's bullshit," I feel my face get hot, and I know tears are coming. "You said so yourself. Mexico has the alcohol, and that's all she's ever cared about. Not you. Not me. Just your money and all the booze she can get. And you had no right keeping that information from me."

"I have every right, I'm your father," he roars, his cheeks turning red as he looks at me.

"And she's my mother," I yell even louder. "I have no choice in who my parents are, but she – and you – had a choice in whether or not you had kids. Both of you chose yes and now it is your responsibility to be there for me despite whatever ditch you've dug yourself into. You've neglected me my entire life."

"You have a car, and a home, and a maid," my father ticks off on his fingers.

"And if you'd paid a little more attention, then you'd know that all that doesn't even matter if you don't have parents who look after you. You have no idea who I am."

"Jackie, that's not true," my father says.

"Really?" I can't make out anything anymore, the tears are flowing so fast into my eyes. "Then what have I been doing all summer?"

"You've been hanging out with Leslie. And that Donna girl you insist on being friends with."

"You see?" I say. "I'm not even friends with Leslie. And Donna…I haven't seen her in almost a month. She's been in California."

Realizing he's been caught, my father's voice softens slightly. "Now that's not fair, you said you've been hanging out with her."

I lower the volume of my voice slightly as well. "But a good parent would take initiative to make sure that their child is safe and doing what they've said."

"But I trust you Jackie," he says.

"God, you're so full of it. You and mom, both. It's not because you trust me. It's because you don't care. You both are always so worried about yourselves. And look where that's got you. Mom is in Mexico, and now you're worried about losing everything."

My father opens his mouth to speak, but just then the phone rings. I immediately make a leap for it, ready to give my mom a piece of my mind, if it's her on the line.

"Hello?" I answer the phone, moving to sit on the couch, turning away from my father.

"Jackie?" I hear Donna's voice.

"Donna!" I say, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Jackie," she says slowly. "Look, I have to tell you something. Something that you're probably not going to like."

I hear the front door shut behind me. I turn around and see that my father is gone. I feel a shock of electricity course through my body, and then the tears well up in my eyes again, causing the front door to melt away in my vision.

He left me.

"Donna, I can't take any more bad news right now, okay?" I sniff. "I just can't."

"Jackie, but I – you need to know," Donna starts. I'm about to protest again, when she delivers her news, despite all I've said. "I'm staying in California. I've enrolled in the local high school here in the town my mom lives in in California."

I don't say anything. This was all just too much.

When Donna realizes I'm not going to respond, she adds, "Jackie, I need you to tell Eric for me."

"No. No way," I say immediately, shocked that she would even ask such a thing. "I've already been through enough Hell in the last five minutes. In fact, this whole summer has just gone to Hell. This is your mess Donna. If you want Eric to know, stop being such a coward and dial his number and tell him yourself."

Then I slam the phone. I wipe the tears from my eyes once more, vowing that those would be that least tears I shed this summer. I spent my whole life without my parents, I didn't need them now. And I'd made it four weeks without Donna, and was just fine. I didn't need anybody. I wasn't sad anymore.

Now I was mad.

o-o-o-o-o

"God this summer has been so long," I mutter, standing up and walking over to the TV. Another episode of the Wheel of Fortune was on. I couldn't watch another whole hour of that spinning, colorful wheel.

"It's the middle of July," Steven says incredulously.

"Exactly," I flop myself back on the couch.

Steven kicks his feet up onto the coffee table, pushing back and lifting the front legs of his chair off the floor.

"You're in an exceptionally bad mood today," he observes. "Even for you," he adds in the jab.

"Thanks, _doc_. I had no idea," I shoot him a look.

"Hey, I don't know who your pissed off at, but don't take it out on me, I haven't done anything," Steven holds up his hands in innocence.

"Fine, then where's Fez?" I ask.

"So you'll take it out on him instead? Figures," he shakes his head.

"I hope you fall out of your chair," I snap at him. He was still leaning back on the back two legs.

"I'm not going to – "

And just as he's going to say it, he does it. He falls backward in his chair.

Or, correction, first the seat detaches from the legs, throwing him off balance. _Then_ he falls backwards.

"Oh my God, Steven, are you alright?" I stand up and look at him on the ground.

Steven stands, unfazed. "I think the question is if my chair's alright?" he says, picking up the detached seat cushion. "Crap."

I begin to laugh hysterically. I fall back into the couch and laugh until my stomach hurts and tears sting my eyes. When I look back at Steven, he's just standing there staring at me like I'm crazy, holding his seat cushion. That sends me into another fit of laughter.

"I'm sorry, but that's the best thing to have happened to me all day," I apologize.

"Wow, then you must have had a pretty crappy day," Steven says.

"I have," I shrug, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.

Steven nudges me to the side with his seat cushion and sits down on the couch. "Well, glad that my falling on my ass has brightened your day."

My laughter falls short, suddenly. "Donna's staying in California."

Steven turns his head to look at me. "What?"

"She's going to finish high school there. And she didn't say if she would even come back after that."

"Crap," he holds up his seat cushion and looks at it. "Crap," he says again. "I have tell Forman."

"What? What, no you don't," I turn on the couch and face Steven. "No. I told Donna that this is her mess and she's responsible for telling Eric."

"She won't though. And Forman's like, my brother. So I better tell him," Steven smiles wryly.

"No. No. Give her a few weeks. She might just do it," I say.

"I doubt it, but we'll see," Steven shrugs.

That somehow ends the conversation. I turn back to face the TV, and for the next hour, we watch a wheel spin over and over again until it all becomes a blur.

o-o-o-o-o

Fez saves us ten minutes into the next episode of The Wheel of Fortune when he arrives at Eric's after work. I glance at Steven's watch and see that it's just past three o'clock. Fez must have had the early shift today.

"The day is still young," Fez nods as he walks in the door. "What are we going to do?" Fez sits in the lawn chair, thinking. "We could go bowling?"

Steven shakes his head. "Can't. We don't have Forman or Kelso. Plus, we have this one," he points to me.

I don't say anything. I know that bowling was the guys' thing. But I still feel like making a jab at Steven for calling me 'this one.'

I look to Fez. "Steven is in a bad mood because he broke his chair."

Steven looks at me. "_You're _the one in the bad mood."

I point to his still tipped over, cushion-less chair. "And you're the one with a broken chair."

"Let's go to the water tower," Fez suggests, completely ignoring mine and Steven's argument. "Without Kelso, we don't have to worry about anyone falling."

Eager to do something shrouded in memories by Michael in order to replace them with new, better memories, I turn back toward Fez. "Yes! Let's go," I clap my hands together and stand up.

It's hot outside for Wisconsin, and very humid. I begin to wonder if going to the water tower was such a good idea, but I quickly squelch that idea when we finish climbing to the top and I see that Steven brought with him a six pack.

Steven gives Fez and I an impish grin once we've all settled on the top. "Beer and heights. Who's up for it?" he asks.

Fez and I both take a beer, and then Steven does as well. We all pop open then cans and then Fez holds out his.

"A toast," he says. "To Stephanie Hilt."

"Hey, what about us?" I say, waving my hand back and forth between Steven and myself. "We're the ones who played matchmaker for you."

Fez rolls his eyes. "Fine. And also to Hyde and Jackie for their help. Not that I needed it."

"Yeah, right," Steven says, disbelieving.

We all grow quiet and just drink our beer. I walk to the edge where the railing is and turn to look at the tower. The pot leaf that we had painted a few years ago wasn't chipping or even fading, but rather was just covered in dirt from time passing. I turn and look back out at the view from the tower. From the top, the woods appeared to be very thick, with dark green leaves creating a solid canopy over the top. It looked as though you could jump onto it without falling through. The green leaves starkly contrasted with the pale, gray sky that had grown thick with clouds. They covered the sun, removing the heat, but leaving the extreme humidity.

I glance down at my beer can. Even that was sweating from the humidity. I walk over to the water tower as well. I run my finger across the surface, and it comes away wet and slicked with dirt, and leaving a clean line on the tower.

"You guys, I think it might rain," I say, indicating to the clouds.

"Oh, fun," Fez grins.

"No, Fez. That's bad. We're up high and standing on a large metal platform above the trees. We're basically asking to get electrocuted."

"I don't want to get fried," Fez's smile falls.

"Don't worry man. Jackie's just overreacting. That's what chicks do," Steven says. "Oh, and Forman."

And it begins to rain. And we just stand there. The three of us staring at each other. I grin. I was right.

"Don't give me that," Steven points at me when he sees I'm smiling. "Don't say it."

I say it anyway. "I told you so."

Then the rain turns into a torrential storm, and suddenly we are all soaked. We still just stand there. None of us says anything until we can no longer see our own hands in front of our face and we begin to hear thunder in the distance.

"Now can we get out of here before we have a story about the water tower that's worse than Michael falling off of it?" I ask.

"Whatever, let's go," Steven says, clearly in a mood for having to admit that I was right. He shoves past Fez and I and starts to climb down the ladder. Fez follows him, quickly running back to grab the rest of Steven's six pack.

I follow last, having to pull back my soaked hair from my face. I grab the rungs of the ladder tightly, afraid to slip. I am able to gage my distance from the ground by following the trees as I descend. First I drop below the canopy and then I'm at the level of the leaves. Finally I reach the trunk and its just a matter of getting close to the bottom.

It happens when I get to be about five rungs from the bottom of the ladder. My foot slips on a slippery rung, and I begin to fall of the ladder. I twist my body so that I won't land on my back. Instead I land on my wrist. There is an audible and distinct snap.

I feel hands reach around my elbows that help to pull me to my feet.

"Leave me alone, I'm fine," I say embarrassed, and then I see that it was Steven who had helped me to my feet. When he sees I'm fine, however, any traces of concern vanish as his face works into a smile. "What?" I ask, annoyed. "What's so funny?"

"You fell off the water tower," is all he says.

"No, no I did not," I say sternly, not wanting to be associated with Michael in anyway. (1)

I climb into the back of the Camino, glad to be out of the rain. Fez is already in the passenger seat. "What happened?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say quickly as Steven slams the door to the driver's seat.

"Jackie, shut your door, I don't want the interior to get soaked," Steven says.

I grab the handle and pull. "Ouch, oh my God, what the hell?" I look down at my hand. I forgot how I landed on it. I remember how I had heard a snap.

"What's wrong?" Steven asks.

I use my other hand to shut the door. "Nothing, I just hurt my hand a little when I fell," I shrug.

Steven laughs again. "Wow, you really are like Kelso. Do you need to go to the hospital like him too?"

"You're not funny," I say sternly. And it really wasn't. "You're being a complete ass. And no, I don't need the hospital. I'm _fine_."

Steven takes my word for it and doesn't drive us to the hospital. However, once the three of us walk into the Forman house, soaked and shivering, he tells Kitty.

"Look at her hand," he points to me. "She's being stubborn," then he heads down to the basement and Fez follows.

"Jackie, what happened to the three of you?" Kitty looks concerned as she drags me over to the chair by the telephone in the kitchen. She sits me down and begins to rifle through the drawer where she keeps her emergency medical supplies.

"We got caught in the rain," I leave out the water tower. "I tripped…on the sidewalk, and landed on my hand."

Kitty takes my injured hand – my right hand – and begins to examine it carefully. "Well the good news is, its not broken, or even sprained" Kitty says in her nurse voice. "But you did bruise your wrist. Let me just wrap it up for you."

Kitty grabs an ACE bandage from her supplies and begins to wrap it tightly around my wrist. She falls silent, so I take the opportunity to speak up.

"Mrs. Forman, I have something I need to tell you. I need your advice," I say hesitantly.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" she asks, glancing up from her work.

I sigh, and think about how to approach it. I decide head on. "My mom is in Mexico. I don't think she's coming home."

"I see," Kitty says calmly, although, she pauses momentarily in wrapping my hand before starting again. "What do you need my advice on?"

I wasn't really sure. I just thought she might have some advice on how to look at things. "I don't know," I admit. "It's just…it just seems like I keep losing people. First Donna and Michael. Now my own mother."

"I don't know about that," Kitty finishes wrapping and then uses the little clips to hold the bandage in place. "I can't say much for your mother, but I know that there is nothing like a mother's love. And as for Donna and Michael – well it seems like you've made some new close friends in their absence. And you can't forget about them either. Because they're still here for you, even with the others gone."

I don't say anything. I just look down at my hand.

"Go be with your friends, Jackie."

I know just who she is talking about. Without another word, I stand up and give her a hug. Then I head toward the basement to be with Steven and Fez.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 -I don't like the idea of a damsel in distress, and the guy always being the savior. Regardless, I wanted to include Jackie falling off the water tower, not so Hyde could save her, but so we could see that he wanted to help her. That, and once he helped her, he teased her about it, which, to me, shows the strength of their friendship (if they can tease each other in a fun-way, not a rude, mean way).


	8. Metamorphosis

"So it's just bruised?" Steven asks after I explain to him and Fez that my wrist was only bruised. "I heard a pretty loud crack."

The two of them were tossing a football back and forth, and Fez was wearing the stupid helmet. Since Steven's chair was broken and he was now sitting on the couch, I was occupying the deep freeze in order to avoid sustaining another injury, this time from the football.

"Me too," I say after a moment, remembering the crack I heard. "Mrs. Forman thinks I might've just cracked a joint. Kind of like cracking your knuckles, I guess," I shrug. "I can't really remember. But Mrs. Forman is making me keep it wrapped for the rest of the day."

Fez looks at me through the helmet, and I have to try not to laugh at his casual sporting of it. Only Fez would willingly wear the helmet that everyone else was embarrassed to wear. For that he kind of deserved to wear it.

"I guess you've replaced Kelso as the water tower-faller in his absence," Fez says.

Steven shakes his head at Fez, smiling ruefully. "Man, if you weren't already wearing the helmet you'd be putting it on right about now." (1)

I attempt to change the subject. "You know, its still light out, the rain has stopped, and it's a beautiful summer day, and you guys are tossing a football back and forth in a _basement_."

Fez, who now has the football looks at Steven. "She makes a point…"

"One on one?" Steven asks. Fez nods, and they both are out of the basement and out the stairs leading to the Forman's back yard before I even have time to slide off the deep freeze.

I grab a Popsicle and casually follow the guys outside. By the time I reach the driveway where the basketball hoop is, they're already in full-on game mode. I grab one of the chairs from the porch with my good hand and drag it over to the opening of the garage to watch the game.

For a street game, they're both pretty good, but not nearly as coordinated and skilled as the professional players. And as my Popsicle slowly disappears, it becomes easier and easier for me to predict their moves. Once I finish it, I stand up and walk closer to their game, conscious to avoid getting in the way. And I begin to narrate, in lieu of doing nothing.

"And Steven grabs the ball from Fez – which, might have been a foul, but moving on. He heads for the basket…but Fez blocks the way. Steven fakes left, oh, and makes it in on a layup. Fez grabs the ball off the rebound and travels back to the other side of the…driveway," I watch the game for a moment before continuing.

"Besides countless fouls, especially including travelling on both sides, Fez makes a clean shot from the three point line despite the guileless efforts of his opponent. Oh, but Steven makes a comeback, successfully making two consecutive jump shots."

"Jackie, what are you doing, you're messing with my flow," Fez whines, momentarily forgetting about the game.

I twist my mouth to the side. "You're no fun. This is all I can do, remember? My wrist? I can't play. So I'll narrate."

"Jackie, never have you once played basketball out here with anybody. You always sit on the sidelines," Steven walks over to where Fez and I are standing. "And since when do you know basketball?"

"I've spent a lot of wasted time with Michael and the other Kelso brothers. I know basketball. And football. And baseball. And – " (2)

"Okay, okay," Steven interrupts me. "So why now?"

I look between him and Fez. "Well, in case you haven't noticed, this summer has really been only the three of us. In the past I would have someone to talk to while the others play basketball. But 'the others' are all gone. You two are literally the only ones left. And now you're playing, and that leaves me watching alone," I shake my head. "Do you see anyone else here?" I hold out my arms.

They both look at me like I've gone crazy. "Um…" is all Fez says.

I sigh, moving back toward the chair. "I like to talk!" I say sitting down. "And I have no one to talk to, so I narrated the game. But I'll shut up if its messing with your mojo, or whatever the hell you called it."

Instead of waiting for a response, I march into the kitchen, suddenly missing hanging out with Kitty. She was, as usual, in the kitchen, getting dinner ready.

"Hey, Mrs. Forman," I sigh. "Can I help you with anything?"

She smiles at me. "I heard you narrating the game out there. How many more tricks do you have up your sleeve?"

I grin, sitting at the kitchen table. "I can fix a car. But Mr. Forman knows that one."

"Yet, I can't get you to cook," Kitty laughs. "Can I get you to set the table?"

"Sure thing," I stand up, and grab the dishes from the counter. Kitty leans down and pulls something out of the oven that smells like heaven. The dish is covered with cheese and appears to be something of a casserole.

I set out a plate for Red, Steven, Kitty, Eric and myself. Kitty glances at one point, and I can practically read her mind. I see her counting the number of dishes, and she gives me a small smile when she sees I set one for Eric.

"You know, I bring him up a plate from dinner every night," she admits. "I…he can't _not_ eat. He's already too skinny."

"Don't worry about it," I say. "I'm happy to do it. Especially for someone who lets me eat here almost every night."

Steven and Fez saunter into the kitchen, clearly lulled by the smell of food. Kitty ignores them and walks over to me at the table. "Speaking of which," she says. "Any other word on your mother yet?"

"She's still not coming home," I look down at the plate, tracing the little patterns on the edge with my finger.

Not pushing the subject, she pats me on the shoulder. "You're always welcome to have dinner here." Then she stands up and addresses the boys. "Alright, Fez. Am I setting you a place at the table?"

"Oh, no thank you, Mrs. Forman. I've got a date tonight with my girl Stephanie."

"Ooh, good for you," Kitty laughs. "Well, have fun," she says as Fez heads for the door.

"Hey, Fez," I say, a thought occurring to me. "How do you get home every day if you don't drive?" I ask, suddenly curious.

"I walk. I live on the next street over. Didn't you know that?" Fez frowns.

"Man, I'm the only one who's ever been to your house," Steven walks over. "And that was a few years ago. Come to think of it, where you live now is almost as much a mystery as your homeland."

"Oh dear, its time for me to leave," Fez swallows uncomfortably and disappears.

"Way to scare him off," I tell Steven.

"No kidding," he takes his seat at the table. "He took off like a bat out of Hell."

Next Kitty calls Red and Eric to the table and begins to serve what she tells me is called her 'special broccoli and rice casserole' that would apparently leave me begging for more after taking 'just one bite'.

And again, we eat with one seat empty, left obligingly for Eric, who never shows. Sometimes Kitty glances over at his seat, then back at the kitchen door, as if expecting Eric to burst through at just that moment, breaking weeks of depression to come eat his mother's warm food. And Red, Red who sits across from Eric's seat, often seemed to be caught by surprise by the empty chair, causing an expression of shock to quickly morph into something more along the lines of anger and maybe some desperation, although I wasn't sure if it was for the sake of his disconsolate wife or for his despondent son.

Kitty was right about the casserole. It really was one of the best things I had ever tasted, and I even put on a big show about it, just in the hopes of making her feel better. Then, upon further thought, as she began to pick up the dishes and Red disappears into the living room, I begin to fill up Eric's empty plate with a serving of the casserole.

"Do you want me to put this in the oven-warmer for Eric?" I ask Kitty.

She glances up at me, and suddenly I understand the satisfaction people get from helping others. I still wasn't sure if that was really for me, but the grin on Kitty's tired face did make me want to smile too.

"Yes, Jackie. That would be very nice," Kitty responds.

I put the dish in the oven-warmer and walk back over to the table to clear more of the dishes. Steven, who is finishing his third serving mutters something to me under his breath without looking up. All he says is, "Donna."

Right. I'd made Steven promise not to tell Eric, but it would probably be a good idea for me to tell Kitty. And probably Bob, too, if Donna hadn't already.

I turn to Kitty. "Mrs. Forman, there's something I should probably tell you," I place a pile of dishes next to the sink. Kitty looks up at me, curious, but continues to wash the bowl in her hands.

"I got a call from Donna," I tell her. I glance at the bowl, which almost slips out of her hand. Before telling her the rest, I reach over and grab the bowl from her so she won't drop it and break it.

"And?" she says quietly.

"And she's staying in California with her mom. She's not coming back."

"Eric," she puts her hand to her forehead.

"I know, Mrs. Forman, I'm so sorry," I plead. She doesn't look up.

I glance back desperately at Steven. He looks alarmed. He stands up and walks over to where we are standing.

"Mrs. Forman?" he asks. "Are you alright?"

This seems to snap her out of her reverie. She gives me and Steven a thin-lipped smile. "Oh, I'm fine," she laughs loudly. "And I don't know about you guys, but this has convinced me that it's time for Eric to get his butt out of bed and start living again!"

I'm slightly taken aback by her response. "Sure…" I drift off.

"I think I'm going to go have a stern talk with him right now," Kitty nods determined.

"Oh, dear, well I'm just going to head out then," I begin to retreat toward the door.

"Jackie!" Kitty yells my name across the kitchen.

I jump, startled. "What?"

Kitty shakes her head. "Nope. I don't want you driving with your wrist."

"Seriously?" I sigh.

"Steven, drive her home please, so Red and I can go talk to Eric," Kitty says, and begins to walk toward the living room.

"On it," Steven grabs my keys before I have time to protest. But then, as if remembering something, he glances at me, then turns back to Kitty. "Oh, and Mrs. Forman. I wouldn't tell Eric about Donna yet. Give her the opportunity to tell him." (3)

Then Steven walks out the kitchen door, and I have no choice but to follow him.

"No argument this time about how you should really just drive yourself home?" Steven says when he sees I'm following without argument.

"Nope," I grin, getting in the passenger seat of his Camino. "I decided to let it pass because I was right."

"What?" he asks as we pull out of the driveway.

I sigh, exasperated. "I was right. When I told you about Donna, you wanted to tell Eric, but I told you to let Donna, although you disagreed. But you just told Mrs. Forman to let Donna tell Eric. So you know I'm right."

"Yeah, well, the last time you were right today you fell off a water tower because of it," Steven shrugs.

"Oh, stop ruining my fun," I whine.

He shrugs again. "I just speak the truth."

"And the truth was, I was right," I nod.

"There's no getting to you," he shakes his head.

I laugh. "Finally, you're catching on."

"But do you really think Donna will tell Forman?"

I think about it for a minute. "Yeah," I say eventually. "Because…Donna said she left because she needed her mom, and so she could find herself, you know? Although Eric contributed to the problem, he's not why she left. So I think she'll eventually find the courage to tell Eric."

Steven pulls into my driveway. "Well, we'll see if you're right again."

"Just you wait," I open the door. "Give me my keys," I say, and he does. "Good night."

"Night," he says before backing out.

I walk to the front door and open it up. Once I step inside, however, and am surrounded by the darkness and silence, it hits me.

The change.

It had been happening all along and I hadn't even realized it.

Its actuality had always been there, and had already come to fruition. But only just now, with the before and after staring me right in the face was I actually able to see and understand it myself. And I couldn't believe I was allowing myself to think this.

When The Renewal began, and Steven had driven me home that night, I was a broken girl, who had let a boy control how I felt and was acting like a victim because my friend had left me. I treated Steven like he and the rest of the world were against me.

But now, nearing the end of July, when Kitty had made him drive me home again, things had certainly changed. I hardly ever even thought about that boy who used to control my emotions. I had moved on and learned how to live without that friend, and was instead trying to find out how to help another who had been felt victimized by her disappearance. And I had joked around and carried a serious conversation simultaneously with Steven, treating him like the friend he had become and not another enemy.

And I realized the beautiful thing about change. If your circumstance changes, you will change regardless. You don't even have to do anything, but it will happen, and more likely than not you will become a better person because of it.

A metamorphosis. A caterpillar into a butterfly. And that's how nature works every time.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1- I feel like maybe this point was a little too subtle. Hyde says this to Fez, its because he doesn't think that telling Jackie that she was like the replacement of Kelso was such a good idea. My purpose in writing this was to show how Hyde is already beginning to understand Jackie and who she is. Which is why, once they get together, I love them so much. Because they just 'get' each other. (Note: Hyde made fun of her for falling off the tower in Chapter 7, but he did it without mentioning Kelso at all.)

2- Hyde makes a good point. Jackie never does play basketball, not throughout the entire show. Everyone else does but her. And she is always watching them playing. Plus, like she says, Kelso has a ton of siblings, many of them brothers, so she has seen them play too. It bugged me that Jackie never once played. I get that it's not part of her character, but I felt that by making her _understand_ basketball, if not play it, adds another layer of depth to her character.

3 – By having Hyde say this, it shows that he listened to what Jackie said to him about this issue, and that he respects her choices and decision.


	9. The New Custom

When I walk out of the foyer and into the living room, I almost have a heart attack.

"Dad," I whisper, resting my hand over my heart.

I was used to coming home to a completely dark house, and the sight of a person sitting in a fully lit living room throws me out of my mental stability.

"I decided to wait up for you," he says quietly, and slightly uncomfortably.

I take a step forward, and then another. He doesn't say anything more. Finally, I make my way across the room and sit beside him on the couch. Behind the couch sits the bar, and a half a bottle of scotch sits on top of it, a bottle I knew was unopened last night.

"You are right that you deserved to know about your mother," my father says unexpectedly. "But, I didn't tell you not because I thought you didn't have the right to know, but because I was trying to protect you from the truth so that you wouldn't be hurt."

I glance at my father warily. Now I notice the glass of scotch he has in his hand that he had been cleverly hiding. I glance up at his face. He looks tired. His dark, almost black, brunette hair like my own was now dusted with gray hairs throughout. The tension in his jaw was obviously discernible and his skin was pale, so much so that the blood vessels on the back of his hands stood out; a sharp blue ink against parchment paper.

I knew he was trying to be honest with me, so I would do the same. "Dad, you don't need to protect me from anything, I've been looking after myself for most of my life. I don't need your protection."

His dark eyes that we also shared drop down to the floor. "Yes, I know Jackie. And I've done a lot of thinking. My most recent indiscretions were in no way meant to hurt or offend you. But I realize now that they have, and that I am completely ignorant to have thought that they would have done otherwise. And its because you're right. You have mostly raised yourself without your mother and me. I've been too focused on my work.

"But, one could argue that that hasn't gotten me very far," all of a sudden he looks faraway, and I wonder if he remembers that he is talking to me, or if he's somewhere else altogether. But then he focuses back on me, his eyes so dark that I can't make out his pupils. "Jackie, I can't say the same for your mother, I will be honest. But I will try to do better, and be a real father to you."

As much as I was a sucker for these sweet moments in movies, they were not really so glamourous in real life. And although I could have made it such, by leaning in and giving my father a big hug, telling him that the past is just that, the past, and we could start over, that would never actually happen.

Because I knew that the past shaped who you were, and although I could give my father another chance, I had learned from a boyfriend that was no longer, that the past couldn't be erased, and in reality, those 'indiscretions' my father had talked about could never be forgiven. They could only be accepted as is, as you try to move on and make your life happier.

So, all I say to my father is, "Okay." Then I stand up, and without looking back, I make my way to the stairs. And as if in a hurry, I take two at a time. Once I get into my room, I take the door and shut it lightly, wanting to be alone, but no longer angry enough at my father to let him know it.

o-o-o

When I wake up the next morning, I feel something of a new experience. For the first time this summer – for the first time since The Renewal – I wake up and feel nothing. No extreme emotion of anguish, sadness, confusion, joy, or anticipation. It was finally just another day, and the change had been completed, and was now the new custom.

I could hear my father downstairs making coffee in the kitchen. This too caused no feelings of anxiety that would have before sent my stomach into knots.

I get out of bed and see that, outside my window, it is raining. I sigh. I had to walk to the Forman's. I better dress warmly. Although it was still summer, the rain in Wisconsin could bring the weather down to the low sixties, and between the wet and rain, it could actually feel pretty cold. So I put on a long-sleeved purple button down and jeans (1) before heading downstairs.

"Jackie, where's your car?" my father asks when I get into the kitchen.

I open up the kitchen door and pull out the orange juice. I hold up my wrapped up hand for my father to see. "I fell on my hand yesterday. Mrs. Forman is a nurse and wouldn't let me drive home, so she had her son drop me off," I explain hastily as I pour myself a glass.

"Well, do you need a ride anywhere on my way to work?" my father asks, his back to me as he messes with the coffeemaker.

I practically choke on my orange juice, and it begins to pour down my chin. I quickly reach for a napkin. "Excuse me?"

My father turns around, confused. "Jackie?"

"Yeah, sure!" I say quickly, remembering the weather, and willing to do anything to get out of walking.

This causes my father to smile, briefly, and I'm humbled that my accepting his driving offer is all it took to make him happy.

"Well, are you ready to go then?" he asks after a moment.

"Sure, just let me grab my keys for later," and then we are out of the door and on the way.

It does make me a little sad that I have to give my father directions to the Forman's, especially since I could get there in my sleep, but we do share a couple good laughs especially when I tell him to turn after that old house or to turn on the road with that sign (2). But sooner or later we get there, and I'm waving goodbye to my father. Again, not the picturesque movie scene, but somewhere in the middle.

"Has Donna told Bob yet?" Kitty asks me as soon as I walk in the door. "Jackie, you can take off the bandage now."

Steven is sitting at the kitchen, finishing his breakfast. He just shrugs when he sees I'm looking at him. "She's been like this since you left last night."

I sigh and turn back to Kitty, beginning to pull on the bandage. "Mrs. Forman. I'm sure that if Donna told me, she would have already told her father."

Kitty paces back and forth across the kitchen floor. I begin to worry.

"Mrs. Forman?" I ask.

"We're going to go make sure. I promised I wouldn't tell Eric, but Bob has every right to know, right now!" Kitty says a little crazily.

Then she grabs me by the arms and pulls me out the kitchen door. We travel across the yard connecting the two houses and make our way to the back of the Pinciotti house.

And I have to compose myself from the sudden shock that courses through my body.

Sure, it had been a long time since I'd been to the Pinciotti house. Donna wasn't there, so I had no reason to go there anymore. But it really had only been a few weeks, and it already looked like Bob had just given up on trying to maintain his house. The grass was overgrown and was crawling up underneath my pants and tickling my ankles. The gutter was broken, and the rainwater was pouring down in a steady stream, right next to the back door. One of the patio chairs was flipped on its side, and there was ivy growing up the umbrella stand.

Kitty however, seems unfazed by it all. My guess is that she had already sent Red over here multiple times to try to get Bob to pick up the pieces of his life again.

She knocks on the door, careful to avoid the water from the rain gutter, although we're already pretty wet from the rain.

A moment later Bob opens the door in his house robe and is holding a bowl of ice cream, some of which is smeared on the side of his mouth, mixed in with his unshaven face.

"If you're here to tell me the most recent news about Donna, I already know," Bob frowns, and then sniffles. Then he slowly shuts the door.

Kitty turns around and faces the yard. "I need to send Red over here again," she says, confirming my earlier suspicions. Then she walks back over to her house, and I follow without another word.

In the kitchen, Fez has already arrived and is sitting across the table from Steven. I sit in the chair between them.

"How'd it go?" Steven asks me.

I raise my eyebrows. "Not well."

"We should stick Bob and Forman together. Maybe their mutual sadness will contradict and create a positive energy," Steven says jokingly.

"Not a bad idea," I say, then turn to Fez. "Do you have work today?"

"Yes," Fez says dreamily. "Speaking of which," Fez looks to Steven. "Hyde, I need a favor."

"Crap."

"Could you, um…maybe pick me up after work today?"

"Yeah, man. What's the problem?" Steven shrugs.

"Well, you see, um, you haven't heard the rest of my proposal…" Fez says uncomfortably. I exchange looks with Steven. He looks worried. I try not to laugh at the whole scene. "Could you like…park, then hop in the backseat, so that it looks like I drive the car. Like, like the El Camino is _my_ El Camino."

"But, Fez, the El Camino is _my_ El Camino," Steven says stubbornly.

Fez makes a childish noise. "But I'm still trying to impress Stephanie, and Fenton is giving me a hard time again."

Steven groans. "Fine. But you are not actually going to drive the Camino. I don't trust you driving…and you owe me a soda and fries at the Hub afterwards."

"Fine. You have yourself a deal," Fez nods. "Now, time for me to get off to work."

o-o-o

Today Fez was working the long shift, and between waiting for him to get out of work, and the constant slew of rain, the day passes very slowly, and very tiringly. At one point, I actually find myself falling asleep on the couch in the basement. I glance at Steven, and I'm pretty sure he was already dead to the world.

I glance back at the TV and watch as The Price is Right never fails to consistently call up old ladies to the game. Finally, I've seen so many white heads that I feel my eyes begin to roll back into my head. I decide that the only way I can stay awake is if I talk, or rather, complain, even if its to myself, since I'm still pretty sure that Steven is asleep.

I pull up my knee and cross my hands around it. The game calls up another grandmother, and finally I've had enough. "Another old lady," I shake my head. "She can't even reach the wheel!" I yell at the TV.

Immediately Steven follows with a complaint of his own; apparently he wasn't asleep. "I can't watch The Price is Right again, I just can't," he groans.

I give a rueful laugh. "This summer totally sucks," I say, as one grandmother laughs obnoxiously at something Bob says. "There's nothing to do."

I feel Steven shift his weight on the couch next to me, and I glance over, waiting for him to make his next complaint, because I had my next one already geared up.

Instead I find myself leaning forward, mimicking his actions, and suddenly there is something to do, and I am kissing Steven Hyde.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – :) You know…

2 - In (my absolute favorite episode) Misty Mountain Hop in season 5, Eric and Donna get lost because of Jackie's poorly written instructions. I decide to make that at trait of hers, and thus, she gives her father terrible instructions as well.


	10. All of a Sudden

The moment is fleeting, and we both pull back as though nothing has happened, and turn our attention back to the TV game. Although I hear it, I don't see it as I am caught up in whatever the hell just happened, I don't even know –

But then clear as day, "I bid one dollar, Bob" comes from the screen, and I am reminded about how ridiculous and boring this is, and how much I'd rather be –

Steven wraps his arms around the back of my head, and I pivot my body towards his and we're kissing again, and time is flying and the world behind my eyelids is filled with color and light and happiness as our lips move against each other's in an urgent, messing around way, but I can't stop the feeling of something more, no matter how I try to stop it, after all this time. I feel myself falling and then admitting that somehow, somewhere in the past few weeks I had begun to fall for Steven Hyde.

Unfortunately, once I admit that to myself, I begin to worry if this is just some meaningless thing to Steven, like I had originally thought. The idea rushes through my head and I pull myself slightly away from him.

He looks at me, questioning in his eyes. I verbally echo as much. "What are we doing?"

Steven doesn't say anything for a long moment. His hands are still wrapped around the back of my head and shoulder. He looks at me searchingly. Then he swallows. "I don't know."

And that's enough. I lean in once again and kiss him once more. Steven always shrugged everything off with a nothing, so by his simple admitting that he didn't know…that said everything.

We kiss even harder, and I'm filled with this feeling of belonging and acceptance that I hadn't realized was missing before and that I now realized was all that was holding me back from fully being myself. I had spent a lot of time alone with Steven this summer, but never felt as though he accepted me for who I was. And that was part of what made this summer a pretty tough one. But now, all those walls were tearing down and there was nothing left to stop me from me and being happy.

And so I kiss him again. I kiss Steven Hyde. I rub my hands in his curls and down his sideburns and I begin to realize that I have found something in Steven Hyde that I have found in no other. And I don't know what it is exactly, but its in Steven Hyde, and for some reason that makes me really happy.

o-o-o

"It's official. I'm rich in real life, and in games too," I smile sweetly as I take more of Steven's quickly diminishing pile of money.

"Man, every time," he mutters.

"Whatever you do, don't flip the Monopoly board," I say, thinking back to the last time I probably played this game last year and Fez kept flipping the board.

Steven shakes his head. He rolls the dice. "I passed Go. Two hundred for me," he takes the money from the bank.

"I don't think that's going to save you," I grab the dice. And I land on Park Place. "Perfect," I whisper. I already owned Boardwalk. "I'll buy it," I put the money in the bank and grab the card labeled 'Park Place.'

Steven glances at his watch. "Alright, time to go pick up Fez."

"What? No fair! I just bought Park Place!" I whine.

Steven gives me a rueful smile as he stands up. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

"This is as bad as flipping the board."

Steven shrugs. "Hey, its Fez's fault again."

I just shake my head minutely and grab my purse and follow Steven up the stairs. But the truth was, I wasn't really all that upset about the game at all. In fact, I hadn't been able to stop grinning all afternoon. Because whatever I had now with Steven had made me uncontrollably giddy.

I had already analyzed it a million times over in my head. Not so much while we were making out, but when we went upstairs to eat lunch with Kitty, and then when we had come back to the basement and had turned off the stupid game show and started playing Monopoly.

And it was during the game that I figured it all out, and my grin grew even bigger. I had been upset because now that I had completed my change, there would be nothing to do for the rest of the summer. And there was still a week left in July and all of August. And I thought that fooling around with Steven was going to be that thing to do for the rest of the summer.

But I realized it was a little deeper than that. Starting this illicit… relationship?... with Steven was simply the start. Because it had broken down the walls of insecurity and resistance that had kept me – us – from having a good time this summer, considering all the time we'd been spending together. And now with the walls gone, I found that I have never been so comfortable with or had as much fun with anyone else before.

When we get to the mall, Steven strategically parks the El Camino close enough to the entrance to the jewelry store that Stephanie would be able to tell that it was a really nice car, but far enough away that she wouldn't be able to see that there were other people in it.

"I can't believe I agreed to let Fez pretend that this was his car," Steven sighs as we climb into the back and out of sight. "What if he takes her on a date and she wants to go in his car?"

"Kind of like the time that Eric pretended the Corvette was his," I say. "And stupid Leslie crashed it."

"Yeah, that didn't end well. Well, Fez is never going to drive this," Steven says affirmatively.

"I'm sure that Stephanie is a good driver though," I shrug. "She's smart, calm, and basically the opposite of Leslie."

"Your point?" Steven asks.

"Well, if she _does_ want to go on a date with him, as long as she drives, your car should be fine."

"No way," Steven shakes his head stubbornly.

"All I'm saying is that you can trust Stephanie to drive your car," I return, just as stubborn.

"I don't trust anyone to drive the Camino except for myself," Steven says. He pauses before continuing. "And probably Red and you, since you guys know cars."

I try to ignore the quick, irregular thump my heart makes when Steven says he would trust me to drive his car. So I continue to push my point.

"But Stephanie – "

Steven turns and stops me from talking by kissing me. After a moment he pulls away. "Were you seriously going to keep arguing that? Even after what I had just told you?"

I look down. This time I can't help from blushing. "Yes…"

Steven makes a noise in the back of his mouth that sounds like dry amusement.

"Oh, you're just as stubborn as I am," I hit him halfheartedly.

"Can't argue with that," he says. And this time I lean forward and begin kissing him.

I plant my hands on the sides of his head as he pulls me on top of him, and never once do we break our kiss. Steven runs his hands through my hair, pulling out the braid I had made hastily that morning. After a moment I belatedly realize that Steven is, and has been keeping his hands in my hair both times that we've made out, and they have never strayed, not once.

I pull away, unexpectedly, the shock of the realization shaking me to my core with extreme gratitude. He respected me. Something new after having a boyfriend who treated my body like it belonged to him.

"What?" Steven asks.

"I just…" my voice fades. My head was spinning. I was trying not to make this into something it wasn't, but I couldn't help it. I knew this was something slightly more for me than just fooling around, and I began to wonder if it were the same for Steven too. After all, he was respecting me, which meant he cared.

I feel another swell of gratitude, and realize that I have no words for how I feel. So I just lean down and begin kissing Steven again.

After a few minutes, Steven pulls away and checks his watch. "Crap," he mutters, and he begins to sit up. I scoot off of him. "Fez should be getting out now."

"We keep this a secret?" I ask, already on board, but just looking for confirmation.

Steven just nods and crouches on the floor. I follow his lead, and come to realize something else.

It wasn't even a question that we were going to keep this a secret. And upon brief analysis, I understand that it is in no way embarrassment of each other, but rather to protect 'us' from the criticism of others. I couldn't even begin to think how our friends would react if they found out. And honestly, I didn't want or need that drama, and I'm sure Steven felt the same way. I didn't want anyone telling me that what I was doing was stupid or crazy. Because I didn't care.

I pull up my head slightly and look at Steven crouched next to me. Our shoulders are leaning together. I take my hand and fish out his in the dark. When I find it and curl my fingers through his, I am honestly thrown off guard to feel his fingers tighten back around mine.

I turn my head away from him and squeeze my eyes shut. My head was spinning again. And all of a sudden I'm back in the Hub two years ago with some unprecedented and unsubstantiated crush on Steven Hyde because he was my hero for taking the fall for my stash. I can vividly remember grasping at his hand and forcing his fingers through mine despite his refusal (1) and I mentally wince at my vulnerability and horrid display of infatuation.

I had grown so much, and what I felt now for Steven Hyde was so completely different and now this time he was holding my hand.

I think I can vaguely hear footprints and then I definitely do hear the door handle being pulled.

"See you tomorrow, Stephanie," I hear Fez's voice, mumbled through the car.

Steven, instead of letting go of my hand, just pulls our hands underneath the seat.

I hear Fez open the door and climb into the driver's seat.

Steven waits until he has shut the door to speak. "Let me know when she goes back inside," is all he says.

There is a pause. "Okay, she's gone. Thanks Hyde," Fez says.

"No problem man," Steven begins to pull himself up, pumping my hand once before letting it go and getting up. I sit in shock for a moment; Steven keeps surprising me. Then I sit up as well.

Fez scoots over to the passenger seat and Steven pulls himself back into the driver's seat. "Now, I do believe we're going to the Hub," Steven turns the ignition. He glances at me briefly in the rearview mirror, and then we're pulling out of the parking lot and on our way to the Hub.

o-o-o

"You're still letting that Fenton guy get to you?" Hyde shakes his head at Fez as he sits down with his side of French fries.

"Yes," Fez says grumpily. "But…but he has this grudge over me. I don't know why."

I cross my arms and look at Fez across the table. We were sitting in the Hub at our favorite table in the back near the bathrooms. Fez was sitting on the booth and Steven and I were sitting in chairs facing him.

"Are you sure he doesn't like Stephanie?" I ask him.

Fez looks at me, very serious. "Yes. I asked him specifically if he did, and he didn't even know who Stephanie was."

"How's it going with her, by the way?" I ask, not meaning to get off topic, but incredibly curious.

Fez gets a dopey grin. "I think she might be the one."

Steven chuckles silently. "Don't get your hopes up buddy."

"So what do you think this grudge is that he has?" I frown.

Fez wiggles in his seat uncomfortably. "Well…"

He falls silent. We wait. Steven eats a handful of French fries. I take a sip from the soda Steven had silently handed to me while Fez was paying. I had tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile after taking my first sip. Steven had ordered my favorite flavor soda and given his free soda from Fez to me.

Finally Fez speaks. "I think his masculinity feels threatened by mine."

"Fez, you have no masculinity," I deadpan.

Steven chokes on a French fry. I try not to laugh. Fez looks shocked.

"Well, excuse me Jackie, but at least I'm more masculine than Kelso and I don't split on my girlfriend like a chicken. Now, good day," Fez says angrily, standing up.

Steven starts to choke on his fries again. I shoot him daggers as I feel my face pale as all the blood rushes out of my face. "But Fez," I start the routine.

"I said good day," Fez pushes into the bathroom.

"Crap," I say after he's gone.

"Crap is right," Steven sighs standing up. "I'll go get him. He just needs to cool off."

"Yeah, and you need to stop eating fries," I tease him. "Or at least stop choking."

"Never," Steven shakes his head. Then he smiles. "And you can never underestimate the power of a good burn. Nice job, by the way," he gives me a quick kiss, catching me slightly off guard before following Fez into the bathroom.

A few minutes pass before Fez returns from the bathroom, Steven following, shaking his head.

"I'm stuck with a bunch of girls," Steven mutters as he sits back down. I kick him underneath the table. He gives me a look. "Fez has something he needs to tell us," he says through grated teeth.

I look at Fez, curious. "You do?"

"About Fenton," he says slowly, and I lean back in my seat, ready to listen. "He challenged me. Which is why I think he feels challenged by my masculinity," Fez glares at me, and I sink into my seat, feeling both guilty and like I'm about to laugh. "Today he came into the store and he challenged me to wear a pair of tight leather pants to work one day."

Steven and I sit in silence, in utter shock and confusion.

"What?" Steven manages after a long moment.

"It's true," whispers Fez, intensely serious. "And he doesn't think I'm man enough to do it. Well, I'm going to prove that evil man very, very wrong."

"Wait Fez," I cross my arms over the table, thinking. "Are you sure he's not just tricking you? You know, gets you to wear the pants and you just make a complete fool of yourself?"

"No, because he says he has a pair too that he's going to wear on the same day," Fez says confidently. (2)

"No, Jackie's right," Steven holds out his hand. "It could be a trick, and he just said he has another pair to trick you into making a fool out of yourself."

"But if I don't wear them, Fenton will think I'm a chicken," Fez groans.

Steven holds up his hands. "And if you do, everyone else will think you're a crazy fool."

"You two are just making things worse," Fez stands up angrily. "Now, good day."

I bang my head against the table. Not again.

"But Fez," Steven starts, sounding exhausted.

"I said good day," and then I hear the jingle of the door as Fez exits the Hub.

I lift my head. "Again? He is really not in a good mood today."

Steven shakes his head. "Donna, Kelso, Forman and now Fez," he pauses. "All of a sudden, you're the only one left in the group that isn't pissing me off."

"What a turn of events," I smile, and Steven can't help but smile either.

"Let's go get Fez," Steven gives me a hand and helps me up.

Fez is outside the Hub waiting at Steven's car. As soon as he unlocks it, Fez hurriedly climbs into the backseat and lays across it.

"I wish to be alone," Fez mutters.

I share a look with Steven. He just shrugs, so I climb into the passenger seat without another word.

On the ride back to Forman's Fez remains silent and Steven and I don't push him. We don't talk either; we are both acutely aware of the presence of a moping Fez in the backseat. And when we finally get there, Steven and I both get out of the car and shut our doors before realizing that Fez has no intentions to move.

Steven and I exchange glances again. This time I shrug. Steven sighs and opens the door to look at Fez. "C'mon man, we'll shoot some hoops."

Fez still says nothing, but he does climb out of the Camino. Once he has straightened himself up, he looks squarely at Steven and me.

"I cannot stay. I must go work out and tone my gluteus for those pants," then Fez spins on his heel and exits the Forman property.

Steven and I both watch him disappear in astonishment, much like after he originally told us about the pants.

Once he disappears however, Steven makes his way to the garage.

"You up for one on one?" he calls out.

"Who? Me?" I point to myself.

Steven nods. "Yeah, you," he says, clearly amused.

"But...but, you were _just_ saying how I never play," I say, confused.

Steven finds the basketball and dribbles it over and stands next to me. Then he dribbles it in place. "Yes, but you know all the rules, so I don't see why not."

"Well, first of all, I'm wearing heels," I start.

"Take them off."

I huff. "Then I'll be even shorter. And your boots have heels, so I'll be at a really major disadvantage.

"Oh, quit your yapping," Steven hands off the basketball to me. Then he leans down and pulls off his shoes. He tosses them on one of the chairs on the porch and takes back the basketball, looking pointedly at me.

"Uh, fine," I groan a moment later. I undo my sandals and toss them on the chair as well. Then I walk back onto the driveway. "Offense or defense?"

"Offense," he says.

I nod and walk towards the net, facing away from it. Then he starts dribbling the ball toward the basket.

And see, here comes the thing I was worried about. I knew all the strategies from watching years of basketball, but I couldn't exactly replicate them.

So when Steven moved to make a jump shot, I knew the point was to knock the ball out of his hand…if I could reach it. And of course, as I had aforementioned, I was too short. And he made the basket.

"Alright, I want offense," I retrieve the ball and walk toward the porch, then turn and face the hoop.

I begin to dribble, contemplating my move. Steven quickly advances, and so like in the professional games, I turn my back to him, using my body to shield the ball. Then I curve around the edge and make my way over to the basket. Steven has it covered well, however, so I fake left, surprisingly catching him off guard and make a weak attempt at a layup, but the ball falls just short of the basket, bouncing off the rim.

"Damn it," I mutter.

"Better luck next time," Steven grins cheerily.

"You're getting too much amusement out of this," I whine.

Next time I'm on offense, however, I take a different strategy. I realize that I'm too short for jump shots or layups and similar shots because it requires you to jump up to the hoop. So, maybe I could attempt a three pointer.

I'm dribbling the ball again, using my body as a shield. Then I pick it up and pivot on my heel so that I'm facing the basket.

Steven moves back a few feet, anticipating that I'm going to move in towards the basket. I try not to smirk. I knew he would do that. Then I balance the ball between my hands, set up my trajectory, and do my best to follow through as I shoot the ball from right where I stand at the edge of the porch.

Steven stands slack as he watches in shock as the ball sails above his head, bounces on the rim, and then falls _into_ the hoop.

"Yes!" I shout. "I believe that's three points for me!" I point at Steven. "Wasn't expecting that, were you?"

"Did you hustle me?" he picks up the ball.

"Are you kidding? _I_ wasn't even expecting that," I smile giddily.

Steven walks up to me and shakes his head. "That was _so _hot."

I laugh and cup his face in my hands and press my lips against his, parting mine slightly and his do the same. He shifts the ball to one arm, and cups his free arm behind my back.

I pull away first, and look at Steven. I just smile. He looks at me and does the same. After a moment, he tosses the basketball on the chair where our shoes are. Then he puts his arm around the back of my neck and I lean my head on his shoulder as we walk towards the door to the basement.

"You're an enigma, Jackie Burkhart," he says. "An enigma."

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – I loved (in Moon Over Point Place) that moment when Jackie so painstakingly held onto Steven's hand until he just relented. I write how Jackie realizes how different her feelings are for Steven now versus then, to show the legitimacy of their relationship, but I still love it when she has that brief crush on him and he protects her, which she then does for him in Misty Mountain Hop…and now I'm getting of track.

2 – I told you that the plot line with Fez and Fenton would be weird. Sorry! :(


	11. Don't Go Back

Steven and I began to hang out together all the time. We had been doing that all summer, but until now, we hadn't admitted to ourselves that spending time with each other was all we really wanted to do. But now I went to places he wanted to go, and he even put up going with me.

Fez had picked up even more shifts at "All That Glitters," the jewelry store he worked at, in an effort to grab Stephanie's attention. They were already dating, but Fez was incredibly insecure about their relationship. And Eric…well, he was still in bed, leaving Steven and I by ourselves most of the time. And as I had already begun to realize, despite all his no-nonsense, cold-hearted attitude, Steven and I had a lot of fun together, and the more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him.

Besides spending most of the time in the basement watching TV and making out, we did some other things as well, after finally coming to the mutual agreement that spending all day down there could get incredibly boring. So we played lots of basketball, and made even more last-ditch efforts to get Eric to come back from the dead. However, even these activities all revolved around the Forman house, and so we decided we needed to venture out.

Thankfully, about three days after coming to this conclusion, Leo returned from wherever he had disappeared to for almost two months (even Steven didn't seem to quite know where he'd been), and re-opened the Foto Hut again. So Steven started to work a couple hours during the week. He invited me to tag along, so I went to help him sometimes.

"So, Leo," I ask him when we arrive one morning. "Where'd you go anyway?"

Leo turns to face me, his ignorant face splashed in confusion. "Who wants to know?"

I hand Steven the pile of albums that I had alphabetized for him. "You sound just like Steven."

"Who's Steven?"

I glance at Steven who turns to look at Leo. "Me, man. Hyde. Nobody calls me Steven except for Jackie and the Formans, mostly"

"Who are they?" Leo still looks confused.

Steven points to me. "Jackie…"

"Oh, loud girl's Jackie," (1) Leo shakes his head. "I'm putting the pieces together, man."

Steven just shakes his head and turns to the customer who pulls up at the window.

Leo then teaches me how to develop the pictures and he and I work on that while Steven then takes them and puts them in the envelopes in-between delivering photos to customers. It's actually a lot of fun, and Leo tells me and Steven some of his stories about God (2), dogs, some guy named Theo, and his time in the photo printing industry. I'm not entirely sure if any of these stories are true, but they're entertaining enough.

"Oh, and then my dog got high once. Man, that was a weird experience. So I smoked a joint and then everything was cool again," Leo tells another story about his dog, Dr. Jivargo. (3)

Steven laughs. "Okay, that one's actually true," he tells me. I give him a questioning look and he explains himself. "I was driving Leo in his car and we got pulled over for a tail light, I think. Anyways, Leo was holding a paper bag of dog food, but he thought it was his stash, and he basically said as much to the cop. But he had switched the bags and his dog ate his stash."

"Oh my God, no way," I turn to Leo. "Did you get in trouble?"

"No, the occifer had nothing on me," Leo shakes his head.

"It's officer, Leo," Steven corrects him.

I finish developing the last of my pile of pictures. There is a small line-up of cars now, so I begin to put them in the envelopes for Steven. Then I put them in the crate with the others. They are no longer in alphabetical order.

"Steven!" I groan.

He glances away from the customer, who was currently shuffling through his wallet. Steven sees what I'm looking at. He just smiles. "Sorry doll," he shrugs before returning to his customer.

I re-order them in alphabetical order again. By the time I finish, Steven has gotten through three more cars.

"God, you're a mess," I slide the bin across the counter to him.

"Take me as I am, or don't take me at all," he mutters.

"As is, I suppose," tease him.

"Good choice," he nods in approval.

"Jerk," I sigh.

I step toward him, ready to kiss him, but then another car pulls up. Steven groans. "Hang on," he says, pushing past me for the pictures.

I look out at the customer. It's Bob. Bob Pinciotti. And he's staring at me wide-eyed. And I have no doubt in my mind that he saw mine and Steven's almost kiss.

I grab Steven's arm behind me. I didn't remember seeing Bob's name anywhere on that list.

Steven turns and faces the window. "Bob?" he says nervously.

"I came for the pictures I sent here before Leo disappeared. They're mostly of Donna…" Bob says to Steven, before glancing back at me. "Hello Jackie."

I feel my face redden and get very hot. "Mr. Pinciotti," I nod.

"Hyde…" Bob says now. Steven has found his pictures and lamely hands them over. Bob takes them and hands Steven some cash. "What are you two…never mind," he shakes his head.

Steven hands him back the money, clearly trying to ignore what he just said. "Don't worry about this Bob, it's on me."

"Alrighty," Bob shifts his car into gear. Then he glances back at us. I feel like a deer in the headlights. Wide-eyed and frozen. I hadn't move since he'd gotten there, except to get Steven's attention. "You know what, I saw nothing," Bob smiles and nods. Then he drives off.

Steven turns to me, a goofy smile spreading across his face.

"What?" I can't help but smile too, but I don't know why.

"Come on, that was hot," he says.

"What?" I say again. "You're gross, you know that?"

"Take me as is, or don't take me at all," he says again, stepping towards me.

"As is," I sigh, but I'm trying not to laugh. Steven kisses me first, wrapping his hands around my waist, and I cup mine behind his neck.

"Whoa, you're dating loud girl now, Hyde man?" Leo asks, dumbfounded. "That's weird."

"Yeah, I am Leo," Steven looks at him. "And my thoughts exactly."

o-o-o

One day I am able to convince Steven to come to the mall with me. He's insistent that there was no way in hell he'd ever go shopping with me, but I finally managed to convince him that there would be no shopping involved. The purpose of this expedition was solely to spy on Fenton and get a feel for him ourselves, since neither of us were certain of Fez's depiction of this guy's 'character.'

"The leather pants thing…he could just be into tacky fashion, like you," Steven says.

I glare at him. We're sitting in the mall food court, and its quarter to one, fifteen minutes before Fenton's shift was supposed to start, at least according to Fez.

"Or maybe he's just a conspiracy nut, like you," I shoot back.

Steven shakes his head. "I don't think so. He could be obnoxious and loud. If that's the case, you two should get along very well."

I think of a quick response. "If he's a fan of obnoxious and loud _music_, than _you_ two will get along nicely."

"Not me, you're the one who likes ABBA," Steven finishes the burger I bought him. I haven't yet finished mine.

"But you like Zeppelin, ACDC, The Rolling Stones…" I explain.

"Your point?"

"THAT music is loud and obnoxious," I shake my hands in emphasis.

"No. Never mind," Steven shakes his head. "Just finish your burger so we can go."

Instead of responding, I quickly finish off my burger and then I'm leading Steven across the mall to where this guy Fenton works. When we see the entrance to the lingerie store however, I realize that we have no plan.

"Um…" I say, we stop walking a good distance from the store so that Fez won't see us from next door. "Here, I'll go in and see if I can find out which one is him."

"Okay, good, and then you can come back out and we'll spy on the store in that empty kiosk," Steven points to it where it is standing about ten feet away from the entrance to the store.

"Good idea," I say, and then I turn toward the store. (4)

Inside, I immediately grow sick to my stomach. The store is filled with lace hanging in every corner and smells sickly of jasmine and honeysuckle. There is cheesy elevator music playing softly. There were several women walking around through the items, and I even see one man. This store was about as tacky as they came. No wonder that Fenton guy spent as much time as he could next door.

All four employees are standing at the check-out counter, and two of them are men. I can see that they are all wearing name tags, the shiny oval pins tied to their shirts, but I can't read them from here.

I decide I need to get closer, but I'm not sure how. After a moment, I know the inevitable. With a heavy sigh, I grab the closest item to me. I'm not even sure what it is, but I know that its covered in lace, like everything else, and some fake, scratchy silk.

I hurry to the counter and get in the line of one of the two guys. When it's my turn however, I see that this guy's name tag spells 'Derek.' I look down at my feet, disappointed.

"Oh miss did you know that there's a buy two, get one free sale?" I hear the cashier say, and I look up to respond that that was quite alright, but then I notice that it's the other cashier speaking to his customer.

I try to make out his name tag. 'Fenton.' Bingo. "And might I suggest, the purple would go great with your skin tone," he adds.

Ugh. I try not to barf at this guy's intrusiveness. My cashier hands me my receipt and I bolt out of the store carrying the bag at arm's length.

Once I step out of the store, I make a mad dash for the garbage bin. But Steven comes up from behind me out of nowhere, and begins to steer me towards the empty kiosk.

"Wait, wait," I say, annoyed. I toss the bag in the garbage bin. "Disgusting. I can't believe I wasted my money on that."

"Yes, because its not like you have a bottomless bank account," Steven grabs my elbow and leads me toward the kiosk now. "Oh, wait. That's exactly what you have."

"Never mind that, going in there made me feel gross," I say.

I look around. No one is paying us any attention, so I decide the best way to get into the kiosk would be to just walk right in. I push past the swinging 'door', Steven right behind me.

"Well, sorry about that," he says earnestly. "But did you find which one was him?"

"Yes," I say, ducking down and out of sight. Steven remains standing, so I pull him down with me. Then I point to a small opening revealing just the one store. "Okay, so he's the cashier standing closest to us at the window," I say. "He's an ass, by the way," I add.

"What?" Steven asks, either annoyed, or just not following.

"He's an ass. He was trying to suggest what one customer should buy. What an invasion of privacy – " I start.

"You don't think," Steven interrupts.

"That he's a sleaze? Yes, in fact, I do," I nod my head. "Absolutely."

"No, no. That he's gay?" Steven says.

I whip my head to face him. "Oh my God, yes," I realize. "Yes, that makes sense."(5)

Steven looks amused, and we focus our attention back through the tiny opening to spy on Fenton. We watch as he picks up one of his customers purchases and admires it before holding it up to himself.

"Oh, I'm going to be sick," I pull away. Steven's face has disgust written all over it. I bury my head in his shoulder. "Wait…you don't think he likes Fez, do you? And that's why he's doing this whole leather pants thing?"

"I don't know. Maybe," I feel Steven's chest move up and down as he breathes, and I try focusing on that to get the image out of my head. "I still think he's just trying to get Fez in trouble" Steven falls silent. A moment later he speaks again. "Wait, Jackie, look," he taps my shoulder. "He's leaving."

I glance up, and watch as Fenton exits the store. Then he disappears from the view of our small opening. Steven slowly lifts his head up, and I do the same. Sure enough, Fenton is heading straight for the jewelry store.

"Hey, kids, what are you up to?" says a voice from behind me.

I tense, and I see Steven do the same.

"Well?" the voice says after a long moment. I turn and look at the man standing behind us. He's wearing a uniform. He sighs. "Come with me."

Steven drops his head to his chest, and I feel my heart fall into my stomach. After a moment, I stand. Steven snaps his head up and looks at me with surprise. Then he stands too.

The mall cop directs us to a corner of the mall with a small door that reads 'Employees Only'. He ushers us in, and we find ourselves in a dark room, the kind that you see in movies with tons of television screens displaying grainy black and white footage of the entire mall. One of the screens near the bottom is not displaying a live feed, but rather a single image, as if the feed has been paused. In it, you can clearly see the empty kiosk with a dark haired girl and curly haired boy crouched in it.

Steven must notice it at the same time that I do, because he sighs heavily.

"Now," says the cop. "I brought you here instead of arresting you so that I could show you this image," he walks over a points to the frozen screen. "We watched you two for about five minutes, and this is basically all that you were doing. You didn't steal anything, so I'm going to let you try to give me a reason for me _not_ to arrest you."

I immediately step forward. If I knew anything, it was how to shift the attention off of myself and make others look bad in that place. And in this case, it was to tell the truth.

"See, we have this friend who works at 'All That Glitters'. And one of the employees from the lingerie store next door was giving him a hard time, so we decided to investigate," I say quickly. Then it was time to shift the attention from me. "And he was right. This guy not only gives him a hard time, but all his customers too. He invades their privacy and makes them uncomfortable and – "

"Jackie," Steven says, stopping me mid-breath.

The cop stares at us, long and hard for a moment, although it feels like years. After what seems like decades, he pulls out a notepad and pen from his breast pocket. He glances between me and Steven a few times before finally speaking.

"I'm going to need the name of your friend and the name of this guy who works at the lingerie store," the cop says.

"Our friend is Fez, and the other guy is Fenton," Steven responds.

The cop scribbles the names on the notepad. "Alright, you're not in trouble. But I am going to have to ask you to leave the mall. And," he adds quickly. "If your story doesn't check out, I better not find you two at this mall again."

With that final sentence, I see Steven's body lose some of its tension, and I automatically do the same. The cop walks over to the door and opens it for us. "I'll see you two out," he says.

The cop follows us back through the mall and walks us all the way out to Steven's car. He watches as we pull out of the lot.

"I hate cops," Steven says. It's the first time either of us speaks since we were in that office.

I roll my eyes. "Not your government conspiracy stuff again," I frown.

Steven doesn't say anything. I can tell that he is angry at having conceded to a cop, a mall cop no less.

When we stop at a light I scoot across the seat and sit next to him. "At least we might've helped Fez," I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I should've known. Doing good things for other people never ends well," Steven says.

With that, however, I know that he is loosening up again. He always denied it, but he usually did what he could to help his friends when it really mattered. Like when Eric found himself torn up about Donna going to the hotel with Casey and Steven pulled the fire alarm all night.

I sit back up. "You're a good guy, Steven Hyde."

o-o-o

A few days later, Steven and I are just getting back to the Forman's after working at the Foto Hut, when Steven stops me suddenly on the way down to the basement from the backyard.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a wad of cash. I watch in confusion as he counts out some bills. Then he holds them out to me.

"What's that?" I ask pleasantly.

"For the Foto Hut," Steven shakes it in front of me. I haven't taken it. "Leo paid me today." When it becomes clear that I'm not following, Steven sighs and gives me a look that says I was being ridiculous. I shrug. "I'm giving you your portion of the money…"

"What?" I ask incredulously.

"Look, don't argue with me. Leo and I both agreed that you deserved some cash for all your help," Steven grabs my arm, but I quickly close my fist so he can't put the money in it.

I look down at my fist. I had closed it instinctively. I smile inwardly. I was really changing. Just last month I would have accepted any money held out to me. But now I knew that there was no way I could take this money. It wasn't right.

"And that's just what it was. Help. I just wanted to help," I tell Steven, pulling my wrist out of his grasp. "Look, I have plenty of money. I don't need anymore. I. Just. Wanted. To. Help."

"Jackie…" Steven starts.

"And," I add with a smile. "You can use that extra cash to buy me something nice," I pat him on the shoulder and give him a quick kiss before pushing past him and heading down the stairs that led to the basement door.

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" he says as I open the door.

I shrug. "It's what I do best."

I pull off my purse and place it next to the record player. Then I look up.

"Eric?" I say, shocked to find him sitting on the couch watching TV.

When he sees me he rolls his eyes. "This _is _my house. Don't act so surprised."

"Forman," Steven says approvingly, heading for his now fixed chair. I take the lawn chair. "What brings you back to the world of the living?"

"Work," Eric yawns.

I take in his white t-shirt and see that in his right hand is clutched his PriceMart smock.

"Red," Eric adds.

"Did he put his foot in your ass?" I ask, nodding.

"Yeah, I bet he's missed doing that, huh Forman?" Steven adds.

"I thought I'd lost my job," Eric looks distant. "But then Red decided, why not torture Eric some more and force him to keep his job?" Eric holds up the fist holding his smock and shakes it before dropping it back in his lap. "He gets me every time."

"Was it hell?" Steven asks him.

Eric says nothing.

"Forman?" Steven asks. Eric still doesn't respond. He just stares straight ahead at the TV, although I doubt he actually sees what's on it. Steven stands up. "I'll be back. Make sure Forman doesn't like, fall face first on the ground, or anything," he tells me.

I nod, and he gets up and heads back into his room. He returns a moment later with his stash. "Forman needs a Circle."

Moments later the three of us are in the Circle. After my first puff, as the room explodes into color, I begin to think about how we haven't had a complete circle in a long time. It was usually just Steven, Fez and I. And now that we had Eric, Fez was MIA.

"You know," Eric says passing the joint to me again. "We're over halfway through the summer. Soon Donna will come back for senior year and I can apologize to her profusely and all will be well again."

I exchange a wide-eyed look with Steven as I reach over and pass him the joint. "Um, Eric, you know, maybe things would be better if they didn't go back to the way they were before," I suggest, but I don't tell him the truth about Donna. She still needed to do that herself. Even though I had just puffed, the subject matter was causing the effects of the high to fade fast. The basement was feeling small and ordinary again.

"You should be happy, Jackie," Eric smiles wobbily. "Kelso will be back soon too."

"Are you kidding?" my voice cracks. "I'm so done with that loser."

The mention of Michael causes Steven's expression to sour. "Forman, you need to pull yourself together. Even if Donna and Kelso come back, things won't revert back to the way they were before. You can't go back in time, man."

The high was definitely gone. In its place I feel a headache setting itself in the back of my head. The joint is almost gone, and I see the high fading off of Steven's expression too. And then Eric's.

Eric's smile falls into a frown. "All I can do is hope, Hyde."

o-o-o

About a week after our adventure at the mall, Fez finally says something that suggests that he's been confronted by the cop.

Steven and I are downstairs in the basement, making out since there was nothing currently on TV. Eric was at work, and Fez was too. Or so we thought.

"Ooh, candy!" I hear the familiar foreign voice echo from the kitchen.

My eyes fly open. Steven's are already open. I pull my face away from his. "What?" I start, but then we hear the door from the kitchen door open, and Steven quickly pushes himself off of me and I quickly pull myself into a sitting position.

"Ah, my friends," Fez says when he arrives at the bottom of the stairs. He goes to sit in the lawn chair, a bag of candy by his side. "It appears you two have been hiding something from me."

I don't say anything. Neither does Steven. I'm frozen. I again feel like a deer in the headlights. I remember how Bob knew about Steven and me. Had he told someone, like the Formans? Had Fez overheard?

"Hello? You told someone about Fenton?" Fez says. "What did you think I was talking about?" He asks, confused.

Steven clears his throat. "Just that Fez," he nods. "That guy is a creep."

"Yes, well, he won't be bothering me anymore," Fez nods. "He got fired from the lingerie store."

"Wait, seriously?" I turn my body to face him. "Thank God."

"Yes, well. The mall police said that my short friend and frizzy-haired friend had brought Fenton to their attention, so I figured it was you two."

"Frizzy-haired?" Steven quirks an eyebrow. I suppress my laughter.

"Well, I wanted to just say thank you before I go. I have a date with Stephanie tonight," Fez smiles widely as he stands up. "Good night," he says as he heads out the basement.

Steven and I both mumble our good-byes, and as soon as Fez is out the door, I'm pulling myself onto Steven's lap, and he's pulling my face towards his, his hands tangling in my hair. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself as close to him as I can. I part my lips against his, feeling our warm breath mix, the moment giving me a high greater than any joint could.

As we kiss, I think about the Circle we had with Eric. How he so desperately wanted to go back into time and revert to the way things were before. And how Steven said you couldn't do that; you couldn't go back into the past.

And for the first time, I find that I am truly happy that you really couldn't go back into the past. You may not always like the changes that occur, but all you can do is try to make yourself a better person because of it. Its when you fail to do that, like in Eric's case, that you truly then wish that you could go back in time. But if you try really hard to become better, then you need not to go back to the past, just to use it to help you grow.

And, did I grow.

I had become more self-confident in myself, and self-respectful, which had consequently led me to treat others better as well. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was the things of my past that had kept me from becoming that better person. So never in a million years would I want things to go back to the way they once were.

And I felt more alive than I did before too. I had a new appreciation for the little things in life. And I felt things I hadn't known existed before. In the Before, I had just been sliding by in life content with whatever I settled with. But now, especially with Steven, I suddenly found myself surged with feelings I hadn't known existed, and I wondered how I could have once lived in a time without such dynamic feelings.

Yes, I had grown. And yes, I was a better person because of it.

And no, I'd never go back.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – Personal fact: I didn't start watching the show until after it was over. I was too young when it first started. Because of that, I found out what happened to Jackie and Hyde in season 8 while I was in the middle of season 7. And so, I REFUSE to watch season 8, or the end of season 7 from the point where Jackie leaves. Nevertheless, through Tumblr, I have seen scenes from after that point, including the one where Leo tells Hyde that he loves Loud Girl. And voila, it's in my story.

2 – Like the story he tells in the Circle about Jesus on the bus.

3 – I have no idea if that's how to spell the name of Leo's dog (Season 3, Ice Shack), but it is how he pronounces it.

4 – Okay. Here goes. So, Fenton tells Eric that he was fired from the lingerie store, right after he tries on all the jewelry at the jewelry store. So… its pretty obvious why Fenton was fired. Nevertheless, 'lingerie' spells out vulgarity in That '70s Show, and I was determined to keep it as clean as possible. Still, Fenton has to get fired for something, so I did my best to find a balance. Sorry again! :(

5 – I just want it to be known that I have nothing against homosexuality, and I really mean it. In the show, it is very obviously hinted that Fenton is gay, and with Jackie and Hyde's conclusion of this it is in no way condescending, just an explanation for why he really has no interest in Stephanie and why he is working in a women's store. Fenton is NOT a bad guy because he is gay. It is because he has a grudge against Fez for no particular reason and is invasive of privacy.


	12. What's In The Eyes

I no longer stayed at the Forman's every night for dinner. It had begun that day that Eric had finally come out of his stupor. At that point I had actually been eating with the Forman's every night. But that night would be the last.

I was really going to try to make amends with my father. I knew without any doubt and with complete certainty that he couldn't be – that I wouldn't let him be – forgiven him for his negligence, but I had begun to realize that that didn't mean our relationship was severed permanently. He hadn't given up, so I couldn't give up on him.

Surprisingly, though, it was Steven who made me realize that. Of course we didn't have that big emotional conversation that you read about in books or see in movies (although I desperately would have loved that). But one afternoon when my father had called the Forman's to make sure I was there, after Kitty had left the room, I had given Steven a big eye roll and he had just shrugged and said one, just one thing: "At least he tries, unlike my absent dad." And of course there was that undertone of bitterness that went everywhere with him.

And with that one sentence I had not only realized that he was right, but that I had acted like a normal teenager _should_ act about their dad – rolling my eyes at his overprotective gesture.

So, I took Eric's return as my cue to go. Although, I would still spend every day at the Forman house, now it was just until it was time for dinner. Then I would go eat with my father. And anyways, most the time after dinner I went back to Eric's basement. Although most of the day was spent with just Steven, after dinner Fez came over and Eric occasionally came downstairs too, and I could be surrounded by all my friends.

Yes, _my _friends.

And yes, of course, at first dinners with my father were immensely awkward. We had very little to talk about. He would ask me about my day, and I, having been raised in a way that I kept my private life just that, private, I did not easily open up to him. And in turn, I would ask him about Mom or about his work and he would do the same, obviously having something to hide. So I figured that if I gave a little, he might do the same. It was worth a shot.

"Jackie, what did you do today?" my father started his standard speech as we sat down at the dining room table. Lena had prepared a steak and mashed potatoes meal tonight.

My normal response would simply have been just that I had been hanging out with my friends, and to give some sort of generic response with it. Maybe it would be that I watched a certain episode of Three's Company which would spark a comfortable conversation about the lives of imaginary people that had no reserve for ourselves whatsoever.

Not tonight however.

"Let's see. This morning I hung out with my friend Steven. We went to the place he works at, called the Foto Hut and we developed some pictures and packaged them for the customers. And this afternoon my other friend Fez got off from work early, so the three of us went to the Hub and ate some fries and just hung out," I shrug.

I could tell my father was shocked. His eyes had widened slightly and his jaw had stopped working the food that was currently in his mouth. After a moment he swallowed and then he was the one who shocked me.

"And Eric? He's your other friend right? The one who was seeing Donna?" despite his attempts, I could still hear the slight disdain in his voice as he said Donna's name.

"Eric doesn't come too all that much. He's pretty torn up about Donna being gone," I explain.

My father doesn't say anything for a long moment. "And you…" he starts. Then he looks down before continuing. "And you feel the same way about Michael Kelso, I presume."

Suddenly there's a bitter taste in my mouth. Both from the thought of Michael and from the certain smug satisfaction my father would feel when I told him what I did next.

"No," I clip. "I am entirely done with him."

To my surprise, this does not entice the reaction that I had suspected. Instead his features soften. "I'm sorry honey."

Quickly growing uncomfortable, I use this as an opportunity to make headway in my original investigation. "And you and Mom? How do you feel about her?" I ask, trying not to look down. "Torn up about her, or completely done with her?"

"Neither," my father squints his eyes and looks at me. "You make it seem like I've completely lost her."

"Well, I just thought…with her in Mexico," I begin.

"You know how I feel about her and me?" he asks. I don't say anything, so he continues. "We'll make it out of this together," he pauses. "Letting go isn't the only option."

I purse my lips. That may be true. In his case, and hopefully in the case of Eric and Donna as well. But sometimes letting go was what you needed, especially if you had been holding on for too long. Because in my case, I was letting go of something that was no good for me, or, I would admit, good for the thing I was holding on to. And also, in my case, letting go could bring you closer to something that much better.

o-o-o

Steven turns up the radio, and suddenly the familiar lyrics of Todd Rundgren filled the tiny room of the Foto Hut.

_You and me in my GT, with those little red lights in front of me. When I go to Heaven, you know that's where I want to be._

"Steven, turn off this crap. Or at least turn it down," I complain.

"This is Todd Rundgren. It is not crap," Steven turns to me. "You need to learn to think from me." (1)

I narrow my eyes at him. "You're right. 'Hello Its Me' isn't crap. But 'Little Red Lights' is pretty crappy," I shrug.

"No. No," Steven sighs. "Never mind, its time to go anyway," he turns off the radio and we exit the small shop.

"At least I'll admit that not all Rundgren is bad," I say on the way back to the Forman's.

"What about Zeppelin, The Stones, Hendrix?" he asks.

"Ah, well, I stand by my opinion with them. No thank y-" I am abruptly cut off as the car suddenly makes a loud bump on the road. Steven immediately slows down and pulls up to the curb.

"What the hell?" he says.

"Sounded like a flat," I frown.

"Leo better have kept a spare in the back," Steven gets out of the car.

"Wait, do you mean to tell me that you've had the car this long and you don't even know if there's a spare tire?" I get out of the car and follow him to the back.

"Crap," he mutters before I get there, and I know that there's no tire.

I look at the sky, no clue what to do. But how would I, when the fact that we were stranded hadn't even fully been registered yet?

Slowly, I pull my gaze down from the sky to look at Steven, behind him I notice something, however.

"Oh, Steven. God, we're stupid. We're right by my street. Look," I point behind him at the street I live on, not even one hundred feet away. "We can use the Lincoln's spare, and I have the tools in the trunk to change it too."

"I knew I'd find a use for you somehow," Steven smiles teasingly, and I punch him in the arm.

"Jerk," I say as we climb back in the car. Steven slowly navigates it to my house. I don't have the keys to get in the garage, so we have to go through the house.

"Your dad hasn't noticed anything missing from the wine cellar?" Steven asks as we head into the kitchen. The house is quiet. My father is at work and this was Lena's day off.

"Oh, I forgot about that," I remember when I had made drinks for him, Eric and Fez. It seemed like years ago, but it had just been a month ago. Time flies.

I reach into the fridge and grab us two sodas. "Sorry, my dad doesn't drink beer," I explain, handing him the glass.

"It's cool," he says, taking the glass.

I think back to our conversation before the tire incident. "And I do actually like Rundgren," I say abruptly.

"Oh, sure," Steven says disbelieving.

"I have Something/Anything?" I tell him.

"Yeah? Prove it," he says, still not believing me.

"I don't believe this. Follow me," I lead him out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I open the door to my room and reach down into the bottom drawer of my desk pulling out a handful of records. ABBA is on the top. Steven snorts.

"Here," I stand, showing him the Rundgren record.

Steven takes it from me, glancing at it, then me. He puts his soda down and then walks over to my record player. He puts it on.

"You still don't believe me?" I raise my eyebrows as 'I Saw the Light' begins to play.

"Alright, I concede," he holds up his hands. "You were right."

I walk over to where he is standing by the player. "Never thought I'd hear those words," I tease, bumping him on the shoulder.

"Ha ha, now are you going to give me your tire?" Steven asks.

"Hmm, its going to cost you," I pretend to think.

Steven raises an eyebrow. "Two can play at that game," he says and then he leans his face down into mine.

The kiss starts light and teasing, but quickly speeds up to its usual intensity, hot and heady and I wrap my arms around the back of his neck. He places his hand around my waist. His lips are soft against mine, and I taste his sweet, breath, now so familiar to me.

Steven walks me over to my bed, and he leans down on me over it. I pull my hands through his curly hair, down his neck, his shoulders, his arms, his hands. His hands. His hands are still around my waist, and incidentally one of them slips underneath the hem of my shirt, just barely, but I quickly begin to feel my own hands tremble. I don't know if Steven notices, but he quickly takes that same hand and moves it to cup the back of my head instead.

After a moment, however, I realize that I don't mind, and when his other hand accidentally slips beneath the hem of my shirt, I quickly grab his arm and hold it in place. But then I pull him closer, and his hand moves all the way up the back of my shirt, and I can feel the light pressure of his fingertips against my bra strap. And I do, I want this. I just kept falling for Steven Hyde more and more every day, and I want this, but this time I can't stop the trembling.

"Jackie," he says in-between kisses. And then again. "Jackie," he pulls away slightly. "We're not going to do anything, okay? Nothing you don't want."

He slips the hand out from my shirt and the one from my face an instead slips them behind my back – on the outside of my shirt – and hugs my shoulders. It brings us closer, but in a comfortable, kind way, like he's hugging a teddy bear. Like I'm his teddy bear. I hook one of my legs behind his knee and I reach one of my hands forward and slip off his sunglasses. I place them beside me on the bed. Steven stares at me unflinchingly, his light colored eyes, open and honest.

And I realize now, while seeing his eyes so close to my own, why he wears the sunglasses. He always worked so hard to remain cool and confident, showing no emotion that could be used against him. But his eyes…in them I could see all the things he would never admit to aloud and in them I could see all his vulnerabilities. The truth – _his _truth, and in his eyes he couldn't hide it. And his truth combined with who he always pretended to be, I looked at his eyes and realized that they were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

o-o-o

"You might not realize, but I can change a tire," I hear Steven's voice behind me.

I turn away from the car and look up at him behind me. "Do you_ like _changing tires?"

Steven shrugs. "It doesn't bother me."

"But you see," I stand up and wave my greasy fingers in his face. "I love changing tires. In fact, I love all things related to cars. I helped Red with his Toyota once."

"Yeah, I remember," Steven says grudgingly. "Fine, finish changing the tire."

I spin away from him and lean back over the tire, ready to pull off the flat and switch it with my spare. "Wait a minute," I spin to look at him again. What do you mean you remember?"

"I was there," Steven gives me a blank stare. I must look really confused because he continues. But the truth was, I knew he was there. I just wanted to hear how he remembered it. "I was talking to Red about Edna. I thought we were alone, but then you popped out from under his car. It was freaky. You were the last one I'd suspect to coming rolling out from underneath a car all full of grease."

"I remember that," I point at him and begin to laugh. "The expression on your face when you saw me…that was funny."

"Well, like I said. You are so annoyingly girly," Steven says defensively.

"You did not say that," I point to him again. "And see you're wrong. I like cars too."

"Okay, whatever," Steven says. And then when I don't move, he continues. "If you don't fix it, I will."

"Fine," I turn back to the car. "Mr. I Don't Understand How People Can Live Outside of their Stereotype."

"Alright, enough of that," Steven whines. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I wasn't all that bothered by it," I stand up again, having finished. I reach for a rag and wipe off my hands. "After all, you really don't know how to live past your stereotype."

That got to him. I gave him a wicked smile, I couldn't stop it, and then I had to cover my mouth so that I wouldn't laugh. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asks.

I throw up my hands as if dismissing it. "I don't know. Just that you've got the whole burnout thing down to a science. The sunglasses, the stash, the government conspiracies…" I tick them off on my fingers as I put my tools away. "And see, you _thought _I was only that pathetic cheerleader who was naïve and innocent. But as you now see," I hold out my hands in front of me as if to display my life. "I also have family problems. I can fix a freaking car all by myself. And my best friend and boyfriend ditched me, so I had no friends, at least not for a while," I tack on the last part, because it was no longer true. I had friends now.

I finish pulling the last of the equipment away and I open the passenger door. Only now do I make eye contact with Steven. "Do you remember when you called me a square? And then, after I tried to show you I wasn't, that same night you asked me if I wanted to suddenly become a burnout?"

Steven says nothing. He just gets into the car. I knew he wasn't into much talking, but I knew he was listening by his tightened jaw.

"You see, I figured it out then. All that you could see and understand in this world was those stereotypes. People fit one category only and it's impossible to be multi-faceted. I figured it out because you put me in one stereotype, and when I did one small thing that didn't match that label, you thought I wanted to change myself completely. But that's where you're wrong. People can be multiple things. It's not all black and white. There's gray, and there's color.

"And that's what made me realize, although it took a while, the difference between you and me. Now, I may have gotten stuck with the annoying and demeaning 'cheerleader' stereotype while you had the cool, brooding 'burnout' one. But I was better off than you because I knew that those labels are nothing of substance, while you lived true to yours completely. I may have had the bad stereotype, but unlike you, at least I wasn't held down to it. So in reality, who was the square?"

o-o-o

Steven didn't apologize. But then, I didn't expect him too. It wasn't in his nature, and in all reality, I didn't think he needed to apologize for something he hadn't realized he'd been doing. And he was who he was, and I couldn't ask him to be sorry about that.

But I could tell that he thought he was supposed to apologize. He'd grown incredibly quiet, and not just on the drive back to the Forman's, but for the rest of the day. So I kept trying to start a series of our typical banter. And when that didn't work, I just climbed on his lap and started making out with him. And that, he was still cool with. And as he pulled me over him, I began to wonder if the reason he liked this so much is because he didn't like using his words to express his emotions.

Because, I was probably imagining it, but Steven's kisses seemed lighter than before, more full of thought, and yet, if it made any sense, they were deeper. And I was losing myself in him, and all there was left in the world was our lips, and every point in which his body touched mine was fire; a strange mix of a fire of passion and a fire of comfort and belonging. And I was falling, falling, falling for Steven Hyde. And I couldn't stop it, but I didn't want to stop it either.

"Steven? Jackie?" I hear Red's voice from the top of the stairs, and then one solid thump as he began down the stairs.

I pull myself off of Steven, and pull myself all the way to the other side of the couch and hugged the armrest. I closed my eyes. I was dizzy and thought I felt the room spinning, and my head was light and my pulse was racing. But all I wanted was more of Steven, because something in my bones said he was right.

Besides all that talk I had made, I understood where Steven was coming from, and even believed some of it myself, although I'd never admit it. But I think he could tell. And in a strange way, he understood where I was coming from too. And I think now he accepted it, but not in a way that he thought I was a hopeless, worthless case, but that whatever I was, it was okay. And something told me that he could help me and I could help him in our unfavorable ways.

Red finished down the stairs and walked over to Steven who had hopped over to his now fixed chair.

"I need your help," he said to both of us, and I might have been imagining it, but it looked like he was giving us a knowing look. "Okay, Kitty's birthday is coming up. And Eric and I mess it up a lot," Red admits, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "I'm throwing her a surprise party since we all know she loves those so much."

"She sucks at throwing them," Steven says at the same time I say, "That's so sweet, Mr. Forman."

"Yeah, well. We won't suck. And that's why I need your help. God knows I can't rely on Eric," and Red does something that I can only describe as an eye roll. "Now Jackie, I know Kitty had put you in charge of setting up Steven's surprise party."

I glance over at Steven before looking at the ground. "Actually, well, she put me and Fez in charge of it. But we just fought the entire time and got nothing done. Donna decorated the party," I admit.

"That's why I'm asking you to work with Steven to set up the party. You two are always fighting, so you're already used to it," and this time Red definitely gives us a knowing look. He smiles impishly. "I assume this won't be a problem for either one of you?"

I try to play it low-key and just act really excited. "I've always wanted to plan a surprise party. Well, you know, one where the surprise is actually a surprise," I say, earnestly excited.

Red pauses, bemused. "Steven?"

"No problem Red. Whatever you need me to do," he says curtly.

"Alright. Her birthday is one week from now. Next Friday. So plan on the party for that Saturday. The first weekend of August."

Red disappears up the stairs.

"Oh, you know what we should do?" I say, already getting ideas. Steven comes and sits next to me on the couch again. I grab his arm. "We should have an ice cream bar. Like, build your own sundae!" I say excitedly.

"Red's up to something," Steven says quietly, deep in thought.

Annoyed, I slap him on the arm. "Yeah, probably," I shrug. I knew exactly what he was talking about. "But who cares? Its Red. He certainly doesn't care."

Steven still appears to be in thought. "Oh, come on. We need to do this for Mrs. Forman. Focus on that. She took you in and treated you like a son. And this summer, she basically took me in too. We owe her. Big time," I plead.

"Okay, okay," Steven makes a face and holds up his hands, probably trying to get me to relax already. "But not right this minute okay? We have all this week."

"Fine. But hear me now. I'll be damned if we don't throw Mrs. Forman the best surprise party she's ever seen," I cross my arms.

Steven turns his head to look at me and gives me a teasing smile. "Well, that won't be too hard."

"You're so mean," I say halfheartedly, bumping my shoulder against his.

"Come here," Steven tilts his head.

I sigh, but then I sit on his lap anyway. I cup his face and my hands and lean in. I stay there for a moment, just treasuring it, all of it. Then he laces his hands behind my back, and I realize that this, just this, is enough. So I just give him a quick peck on the lips, then lean my head against his shoulder and I turn my attention to the TV.

"Thanks for fixing my car," Steven says after a moment.

I smile to myself. In those five words was more than that, and I could hear it. It was that apology he needed to get off his chest, and his telling me that yeah, he didn't care that Red probably knew about us. And it was his way of letting me know that really, it was all okay.

And that's the thing about Steven that was drawing me closer to him every day, every moment, every second. Because those words coming from his lips was his unique way of communication, and I had a feeling I understood it better than most. Because I knew what else those words meant, and that they meant a lot more coming from him, than say, Michael. He didn't say much, but he was human like the rest of us. You just had to know how to look.

And maybe the way of looking was through a pair of aviator sunglasses.

"Oh, you forgot these," I pull out his sunglasses and hand them to him.

And of course, he takes them without another word, but yet he didn't need to say anything, for I knew. I knew what he was saying by the simple fact that he just tucked them on the hem of his shirt instead of wearing them, at least for now.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – Later in season five, Hyde gets made at Jackie when she thinks that a man has to get his girlfriend jewelry. Hyde says something very similar then as he does now. Although it is arguable that its not very kind of Hyde to say something like that, if you look past that, I think it shows some of his vulnerability – he wants Jackie to understand, she matters that much to him.


	13. The Signs of the Past (1)

"Party aside," I sprawl across the couch. "What are you going to get for Mrs. Forman?" I ask Steven.

He's lying on his back on the couch across from me, staring at the ceiling. He glances over at me. "No clue. I was hoping to ask for your advice on that."

We were trying to plan Kitty's surprise party. We had come over to my house so that we wouldn't have to worry about her overhearing anything. But now we were just lying around lazily on the couches in my living room, at a complete loss. Unlike what Red had predicted, Steven and I hadn't fought too much over this party. Probably because it was really pretty simple. In fact, all the plans were done, and it was only Wednesday. We'd pick up everything we needed tomorrow at the Piggly-Wiggly, and now all that was left was her gifts.

I tried to think of something for Kitty. But my mind quickly began to stray.

"I wonder why people always come to me for gift ideas," I think out loud. "Donna did, for Eric's seventeenth birthday. And then you came to me for what to get Donna for Christmas. (2) I actually suck at gift ideas…I mean, I told Donna to get Eric a freaking candle."

"What?" Steven asks. "I don't remember asking you for help with Donna."

"I mean, a candle," I continue, baffled. "Oh, and you did. Don't you remember? You had like, six dollars. And you said it was for a friend. But it was so obviously Donna. That was so cute. You were so flustered. Or, un-Zen, as you would call it."

"Crap," Steven mutters. "I forgot I did that."

"Did you really have a thing for Donna?" I ask, curious.

"Not really, I guess I was just jealous of Forman," Steven admits.

I have a feeling he's still high from the Circle with Fez this morning before he went to work. It was the only explanation as to why he would be so talkative.

I roll over on my side and stare at him. "Jealous?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"I'm the dirtbag who everybody assumes is immediate trouble. So yeah, I was jealous that Forman got Donna…and that Kelso – "(3) he stops abruptly. "Why the hell am I saying this?" He shakes his head. "Okay, I've really got to cut back on the Circle."

"You won't," I say.

"Oh, we both know I won't," he parrots.

"What were you going to say about Michael?" I ask him.

Steven just shakes his head. Then he sits up and shakes his head again. "Come on. I need to do something. Let's go bowling."

I smile, forgetting about my question. "You don't hate bowling."

"So?" Steven asks, making a face as he stands up.

I stand up as well, and continue to smile. "You don't hate me."

"What? Of course I don't hate you. I may find you annoying but I don't hate – " he stops abruptly, and I can tell by the way his face falls slack that he knows exactly what I'm talking about. "Let's go," he puts his arm behind me and pushes me to the front door.

I know he knows, but I push it anyways. "Remember Labor Day? When you took me on that date?" I start.

Steven ruffles my hair. "Alright, grasshopper. Enough of the past."(4)

o-o-o

"Well, excuse me, but I'd never actually been bowling before," I say the next day as we walk through the aisles of the Piggly-Wiggly. Steven was pushing the cart and I was picking up all the items that we needed as we passed them: potato chips, ice cream, birthday candles, paper plates, etc.

"Which is what made it so frustrating," Steven groans.

"What? Why?" I frown as I throw in a box of plastic silverware.

"Because you were good at it," Steven continues to push the basket forward.

I laugh out loud. "Are you kidding? You still beat me."

"Not by much," Steven continues ranting.

"So what's your point? You can't honestly expect me to suck on purpose."

"My point is that someone who goes bowling for the first time and has to sanitize their freaking bowling ball each and every time should not be that good. And that's why you're so annoying," Steven explains.

I roll my eyes. "I thought I was annoying because I like ABBA and disco and am really loud."

"And because you're rich and shallow," Steven nods.

"Hey!" I say defensively. "What's that supposed to mean? I am not shallow."

"Says the girl who went back to dating Kelso after he cheated on you with his best friend's sister."

"You sure have a lot to say about that now. Now that Michael's gone, you have the balls," I see a balloon kit and make a bee-line for it. Perfect.

"Hey, when that idiot was cheating on you, I tried to get him caught. Remember Vanstock? I told you to surprise him…and I tried to get you and Laurie talking. Hell, I think at one point I told Kelso that he should tell you."(5)

I put the balloon kit in the basket and avoid looking at him. I couldn't believe he'd done those things, but then, I _know_ he did. We freaking sang "Three's Company" on the way. But it made me feel like a bumbling idiot for having strung Michael along for so long…and then again.

"Hey, what'd we say about the past? I don't want to drudge up my indiscretions either."

"Fair enough," Steven shrugs. He peers into the basket. "Don't you think we've got enough? How much money did Red give you anyway?"

"Oh, no!" I pull Steven's arm, dragging him and the basket into the next aisle over.

"What? What now?" Steven asks impatiently.

"Mrs. Forman was in that aisle," I point.

"What?" he just says.

"God, you're slow," I say annoyed. "She can't see us or the stuff in our basket. And I have extra cash if we don't have enough."

"Huh," Steven sighs. "I'm going to need to get some stronger stuff to keep up with you."

I give him a look, and then inspect the spatulas on display at the end of the aisle. I carefully keep my back positioned toward Kitty so that she doesn't notice me.

"And by the way," I add, just to get under his skin. "Those bowling balls travel _under the ground_ before returning," I say pointedly. "And something tells me that whatever you guys do when you go bowling is much worse."

"Right you are," Steven gives me a winning smile. I laugh, besides myself.

In my periphery I see Kitty move. She wheels her basket into the next aisle down instead of ours.

"Alright, she's moving in the other direction," I say, back to business.

Steven looks relieved. "Alright, we've got everything except gifts. Let's get out of here before she sees us," Steven turns the basket around and wheels it to the front of the store where the registers were. I have to run to catch up with him.

Once we get back into the Camino, Steven expresses his hunger.

"Let's go to Sizzler," I suggest. Steven nods as he begins to pull out of the parking lot. And I can't help myself. "Remember when I convinced you to hang out with me at Sizzler after Michael and I broke up the first time?"(6)

"Jackie…" Steven warns.

But I press on. There was something I needed to know. "Do you? Do you remember, though?"

"Yes. Okay?" he sighs.

That was the answer I was hoping for. I scoot across the seat and kiss him on the cheek.

Because that night we went to Sizzler, Steven had told me I'd find someone great. And his answer now told me that I finally did; I'd found someone who was great.

o-o-o

Red also left it up to me and Steven to make sure that Eric would come to the surprise party. Red had convinced Kitty to go get some groceries, and then Fez and Bob had arrived. Bob looked clean-shaven and showered, but there was still a haunting sadness in eyes his from missing Donna. Fez, on the other hand, was on cloud-nine, having come here after a date with Stephanie.

And now we were trying to get Eric. Steven and I recruited Fez to help us in this ordeal. We decided to use the guilt trip method.

"Come on, Forman," Steven knocked Eric's limp body on his bed. "Remember last year? You _forgot _your mom's birthday. And when you did remember...you got her some brochure from the gas station."

"Yes, you owe her Eric," Fez agreed with Steven. "She has been too good to you."

"Not only that," I say with sass. "But you should even be happy that your mom is in the picture. My mom's gone to Mexico, Steven's mom ran away, neither of Fez's parents are here, and Donna had to go find her mom." I cut myself off abruptly. That sounded more bitter than intended.

"Alright, fine," Eric sits up in his bed, his eyes glazed over and his hair sticking up at an unnatural angle. "But I don't have a gift for her."

"Oh, Eric. Just your presence will be enough of a surprise for Miss Kitty," Fez says sweetly.

"Alright, Forman get dressed and meet us downstairs," Steven stands up and Fez and I follow him out of the room downstairs.

Eric does join us about five minutes later. He doesn't look too much better. Besides his clean, wrinkle-free clothes, his hair and facial expression were still pretty dismal.

Red had set up bowls of potato chips and pretzels, plates of cheese, crackers and watermelon and other various food items that Steven and I had picked up from the store and Red himself pulled out lots of various drinks and placed them at the bar.

Remembering how Red had asked me and Steven to plan the party made me think, again, that he might have his suspicions about us. And then with a shock, I remembered what Bob had definitely seen at the Foto Hut. And then I became conscious of how close Steven and I were standing as we waited for Kitty to get home. In reality, it wasn't very suspicious if you didn't know to look, but there was Red and Bob. And Fez…well, he at least still thought we hated each other.

"Hmm," I say in an undertone. "I should go talk to Fez…or something."

Steven doesn't say anything, but I was certain he knew what I meant, he moved over to where Eric was sitting on the couch and sat next to him.

"Hey, Fez. How's Stephanie?" I ask him, trying to make light conversation.

The doorbell rings and Red goes to get it. Everyone freezes momentarily before realizing that it couldn't be Kitty ringing her own doorbell. It was just a couple nurse friends of Kitty's that had been invited.

"Great," Fez smiles dopily. "We're going to the drive-in tonight."

"And that guy, Fenton?" I ask subtly.

"He got fired from the lingerie store," he flashes me a grin, but then it quickly fades. "But he still comes to the jewelry store to harass me."

Crap. Our plan had backfired. But at least he wasn't being a pervert to customers anymore. I turned back to Fez, ready to make a vague comment about how that was one of the many reasons I was glad I didn't have to work anymore, but then Red, who had been sticking his head through the curtain whispers that Kitty was pulling up the driveway.

We all find a place to hide. I, being the smallest, get stuck hiding behind the coffee table, which did a shoddy job of even hiding me.

But nevertheless, the surprise worked flawlessly. Kitty walked into the living room from the kitchen, and before she had time to even take in her surrounding, our small group jumped out from behind each corner shouting 'surprise' in the voice of celebration.

"What's all this?" Kitty put her hand over her chest.

Red, who had been hiding behind the bar walks over to his wife and wraps his arm around her shoulder. "Just consider this compensation for last year."

"Oh, Red," Kitty smiles sweetly at him, and then turns to the rest of us. "Thank you all. I don't know what I did to deserve all this."

We all pay her our compliments, nothing she didn't deserve, because, Kitty…she really was one of the most giving people I knew. She deserved this more than anyone I knew.

When it came to gifts, I grew excited. Whether or not gifts were for me, I was always excited to see what people picked to give people. I hope that she would like my gift.

Kitty's nurse friends all got Kitty one big gift. They bought her a brand new nurse's uniform and instruments, such as a stethoscope, thermometer and blood pressure cuff. I thought it was kind of a shoddy gift. Why give someone a birthday gift that was for their job?

Bob's gift was slightly better, but not by much. He bought her a cheesy figurine of two seahorses kissing, apparently one from a series in which he had started giving them. Kitty pulled out the one he had already given her, a dust covered figurine of two dolphins kissing. (7) Kitty gave Bob one of her uncomfortable laughs and temporarily placed the two eyesore figurines side by side on the coffee table.

By the time Fez handed Kitty a small gift bag in which she pulled out a bag of candy, I was beginning to think he had given her the best gift so far.

"I'll go next," I jumped up after Kitty thanked Fez. I hand Kitty an envelope and tell her that the present is inside.

Kitty pulls out the card I bought that morning, but that wasn't the gift. The gift was in the note I had written. I had told her about all she had done for me that summer, and at the end, I wrote that my gift to her would be to pay for us to get a manicure and pedicure together.

"Thank you Jackie," she holds out her arm, and I lean in to give her a hug. "And I will definitely take you up on that offer. Next weekend sound good?"

I pull away. "Perfect." Then I stand up and move to sit on the piano bench.

Steven hands her his gift next, but looks really nervous doing so. He sits next to her on the couch. We all watch as Kitty slowly pulls a small folded piece of paper that looks like it has been decorated by a five year old with colored pencils.

Steven clears his throat uncomfortably. "When I was six they made us make our mom's cards one day in school. I never gave mine to Edna, but you deserve it more anyway," he shrugs nonchalantly.

I cover my mouth, suppressing a squeal. That was the sweetest, most remarkable thing I had ever seen anyone do. I would _so_ be talking to him later. It was just so…personal, something I had only just barely began to associate with Steven.

Kitty pulls Steven close and whispers something in his ear that make his cheeks turn red. I cover my mouth again, about to squeal from all this cuteness.

As if what Steven gave Kitty wasn't enough, Red then topped off the gifts with the real shocker: a diamond necklace. It was simple, a single diamond dangling from a delicate gold chain, but it was beautiful, and the fashion queen in me couldn't help but notice that the necklace could be worn with anything.

"Wow, Mr. Forman. You've got a great sense of style," I tell him.

Red gives me a look that tells me he has no interest in what I have to say. I just shrug at him as if to say "Well, it's true."

We celebrate with cake and ice cream, and slowly the party began to dissipate. Red and Bob went outside to the garage. Kitty and her nurse friends began to talk about their work, so Eric, Steven, Fez and I all went downstairs to the basement. Since there were four of us, Steven wasted no time in starting up a Circle.

"Ah…now this. This feels right," Steven nods, very Zen as he passes along the joint. "A full Circle. Well, except for Kelso I see Jackie."

"At least I'm not stupid like Michael," I defend myself.

"Yeah, well you're annoying," Eric says eating a lollipop.

"Yes, Kelso is gone, and you haven't gone with him," Fez frowns.

I purse my lips. "No, instead Donna went with him," I say getting pissed off. "Whatcha going to do about it?"

"This stuff isn't strong enough," Steven looks at the joint. Then he shrugs and moves it to his mouth anyway.

I roll my eyes. Then Eric begins to make a noise I can only describe as blubbering. Somewhere in the mix I hear him say 'Donna.'

Apparently Fez hears it too. "Ah, way to go Jackie. Now you made him cry."

"Well, to be fair, Forman is a whimp," Steven shrugs. "And Forman. You know the rules. No crying in the Circle."

I nod. "Yeah. You don't see me crying over Michael. In fact, I enjoy making fun of his sorry ass. Anyone got any embarrassing stories?" I look expectantly at the three of them.

Eric stops his blubbering and momentarily thinks. Then he nods his head. "When you broke up, and he wrote a song for you, some of the original lyrics were 'I didn't mean to cheat but she forced me.' But that might actually be true. Laurie had that kind of power over him."

Fez speaks up next. "He once had a fantasy about the future and Red got to go into space," Fez smiles dopily at the memory. But then his smile quickly fades. "Aye, but I was a robot butler."

I look to Steven now. He gives me a wry smile. "He cried like a freakin' baby in the Circle when you broke up with him."(8)

"Yes!" I hold up my arms in victory. And then the high hits me and I begin to laugh at all these stupid stories about Michael. And I laugh, laugh and laugh. And I'd never felt better.

o-o-o

I never actually do confront Steven about his gift for Kitty. I never intended to make fun of him, I just wanted to tell him what a sweet gesture it was, but being the way he was, I didn't think he'd appreciate that. And if anything, I did not want to make Steven less inclined to do sweet, personal and emotional things.

However that did not stop me from talking about it to Kitty. When the next weekend came and I took her out for manicures and pedicures, I was desperate to ask her about it, but I didn't want to reveal to her my interest in Steven. However, to my delighted surprise, she brings him up first as we are talking about her gifts.

"And Steven," she gives me a small smile. "He's such a sweet boy. You wouldn't know it, but Steven does have a soft side, and is quite vulnerable."

I listen attentively as we sit side by side at the salon. We had already gotten our manicures done and were now sitting in reclined seats as we got our toes done. We had gotten a matching peach color for our fingers and our toes we were having painted bright red.

After a moment, I move forward and ask her a question. "If you don't mind my asking, what did you whisper to him? It made him blush."

Mrs. Forman smiles giddily. "He probably wouldn't want me saying this to anyone," but then she shrugs. "Oh, well. But you have to keep it secret. I just told him what a great son he was. Because he is my son.

"Jackie, Steven has trust issues and does not want to depend on anyone, or open up to anyone. He does for me, and I do not want to betray his trust. And I'm only telling you this so that you know that you should not make fun of him for this. I know you kids all have a good time ranking on each other. But just stay away from that subject, okay?"

"Oh, of course, Mrs. Forman," I say, feeling slightly guilty for something I hadn't even done.

"You're a sweet girl Jackie," Kitty taps my hand with hers, conscious of both our nails. "And thank you for your gift too. While yes, Laurie is my daughter and I love her very much, I do wish she liked me as much as you do."

"Well, let's just put it this way. You're a lot better than my own mother. But I'm sure Laurie loves you. And I know Eric does."

Kitty frowns slightly. "Well, I just wish Eric loved me as much as he loves Donna. This is one of the last summers that I'll have with my son before he goes off on his own and…" she drifts off. After a moment she waves her hand dismissively. "What are we doing? This s supposed to be fun. Let's stop talking about such depressing stuff."

I agreed, and we launched into a conversation about jewelry. But in the back of my mind, I had an idea brewing.

Although I had adapted and had actually come to love the way things had turned out after the Renewal, I realized that there were a lot of other people who had been impacted by it, just as much as I had. And in all reality, I had come to accept that Donna wasn't coming back and I would be glad to never see Michael again. But for many other people, they were still stuck in the rut of thinking this was all temporary and couldn't move on because of it. Another change needed to be made, not for me, but for others. A change that required putting aside the past and starting over. And that involved those two certain people.

But that was okay. Because I knew that no matter what happened, I had changed for the better.

Returning to the Forman's later that afternoon reinforced this idea, and erased any of my own qualms. I had changed. And I wasn't the only one.

When I went downstairs to the basement, I found Steven sitting by himself. Fez was probably at work, but I thought that maybe Eric would have tried living again.

"Eric went back into hibernation?" I say disappointedly as I sit next to Steven on the couch.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Steven becomes alert to my presence. "Hey, you know how you know a lot about cars?"

"Yes, but – " I start.

"There's something wrong with the Camino. Will you check it out for me?" Steven asks.

Something about this gesture makes my heart skip a beat. Maybe it's the simplicity of the gesture. Maybe its that he trusts me. Maybe it's the openness of his expression as he looks at me waiting for an answer, and despite his shades I can feel his gaze rest contentedly on my eyes.

"Sure, but…wow, you look really worried about your car," I say after a moment.

"Well, I mean…" Steven looks suddenly uncomfortable.

"Aww, it's because your car is your baby, isn't it?" I tease him.

Jackie – " he starts.

"Which is kind of funny, considering that you were making fun of me for calling my car my baby, not too long ago," I continue anyways.

"Alright, will you look at the Camino or not?" Steven asks, having had enough.

I abruptly stop laughing and lean in to kiss him. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer deepening the kiss. After a moment I pull back.

He grins at me. "I'll take that as a yes."

And its him. Its Steven. He's the reason I will find the courage to fix everything. He's my reminder that I've changed for good. Because he changed too.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – I titled this chapter "The Signs of the Past" because in this chapter, Jackie and Hyde talk about a lot of things that happened between them in the past. Moments that we as fans of the show absolutely love because of the pre-Zen love cuteness of it. I decided to make them sort of reflect on those moments how we think about them.

2 – Pre-Zen love moment one: When Hyde came to Jackie for help on what to get Donna for Christmas, she said that if he wanted to make out, the answer was PROBABLY no. I, and I know many other Jackie and Hyde fans hang on very tightly to Jackie's use of the word 'probably.' :)

3 – Was the rest of his sentence going to be 'got you'? We'll never know. But we can assume…

4 – Pre-Zen love moment two: Jackie Bags Hyde is a pre-Jackie and Hyde episode that always makes my heart melt. Hyde tells Jackie he doesn't hate bowling, and that their date was like bowling. (Side note: Hyde totally felt something after that kiss. He kept touching his mouth, and had to think twice before he said no. We were all onto you, Hyde. *smirks*)

5 – Pre-Zen Love moment three: Hyde spent the whole Vanstock episode basically trying to get Kelso caught by Jackie. Of course he argues it's because he likes to see Kelso get burned, but perhaps there was an ulterior motive, even if he didn't realize it…

6 – We all remember that episode. Do I even have to make a footnote for this? Not to mention how Jackie kisses him very sweetly later on. :)

7 – Remember that garage sale in season 2? Let's not forget those kissing dolphins from Bob and Midge. Or that pocket fishing pole…

8 – Does anyone think that Hyde got way too much enjoyment out of Jackie breaking up with Kelso (the first time)? I'm thinking he was secretly pleased that she wasn't with him anymore.


	14. Burnout-with-a-heart-of-gold Hyde (1)

"You plan to do that in a dress?" Steven says as I open the hood to his car.

I give him a look while taking in what he's wearing. "Better than an ugly Ted Nugent t-shirt."

Steven doesn't dignify that with a response. Music was such a touchy spot for him. So I turn back to the car and appraise the situation. For some reason, Steven couldn't get the car started. After assessing the engine and seeing no obvious damage, I begin to theorize why this could be. I move to the front seat and turn the ignition. There is a series of clicking noises, but the engine wouldn't turn over.

I check the windshield wipers. As expected, they move very slowly. Furthermore, the dash lights appear to be very dim. Sighing at the simplicity of the situation, I pull out of the car and cross my arms.

"You need a new battery," I state.

"What? It's not that old," Steven says annoyed.

"Then it should jump start," I move toward the Forman's garage. "Do you know if there are any jumper cables around here somewhere?"

I find the cables and turn back to the El Camino. I knew the battery in my Lincoln was fairly new, so I pull it up the driveway so that it is close enough to his car to jump start it. I connect the positive and negative cables to each car and Steven watches silently.

"Please tell me you know how to jump start a car?" I ask.

"Yes," Steven says, then realizing that I expect more of an answer he continues, grinning at me slyly. "I just like watching you do it."

"Jerk," I say but I do it myself, nonetheless.

By the time I finish however, I hear Fez coming up the street toward the Forman house, whistling one of his weird native songs. I glance at Steven.

"Well, I better get going. My dad wants to have dinner with me," I shrug.

"Jackie its not even three thirty yet," Steven furrows his eyebrows.

"Fez is here anyway. And this way I can come back later."

My back is to the driveway, so I can't tell if Fez is in our line of view yet, so I don't take the risk of kissing Steven goodbye, although my body is screaming for me to do just that.

Slowly, I turn to head for my car, but before I get very far, Steven grabs my arm, and while glancing over my head, kisses me briefly on the lips. "See you later. Now go," he says, keeping his gaze behind me.

I turn, and can feel my cheeks burning bright red in pleasure. Just as I reach the door to the Lincoln, Fez turns in the driveway. "Hey, Fez," I say quickly.

"Jackie," Fez nods.

I sit in the car and see that Steven disappeared into the garage and was casually putting away the jumper cables. Fez goes to join him. Certain that all was settled, I turn the ignition and head for home.

o-o-o

When I pull into the garage, I hear the phone ringing in the house, and I quickly run inside in hopes of picking it up in time. My father isn't home yet, so it's up to me.

"Hello?" I say out of breath as I pick up the phone.

"So, I called him. Like you told me to," the voice of an angry redhead vibrates through the phone.

"Donna?" I ask.

"Yes, Jackie. It's Donna. And I called Eric. And he didn't talk to me."

"Wait, what do you mean?" I ask her, sitting down on the couch. I hear the garage door open. My father must have just gotten home.

"I mean, when I called, Mrs. Forman answered and when I asked if I could speak to Eric she said that he was, uh, 'in the bathroom' and that he wouldn't come out,"(2) Donna sounds mad, but I knew her well enough that she was just acting that way to cover how hurt she felt from that stupid phone call.

"Are you sure?" I ask, shocked that Eric wouldn't want to talk to Donna. "He's been moping about you all summer."

"Yes, Jackie, I'm sure," Donna's voice sounds annoyed now.

"Okay, don't worry Donna. I'll figure out what's going on with him. Call me tomorrow," I say. Then we say our goodbyes and hang up.

I hoped Donna would trust me enough to still call me tomorrow. I knew better than to call her myself, because she wouldn't answer. If she really wanted to talk to me, she would have started answering my calls a long time ago.

"Hey, Dad," I say to him as he walks into the living room.

"Hey, Jackie honey. How was your day?"

I reflect on my manicure and pedicure with Kitty and my afternoon with Steven. His trusting me to work on his car. His insistence to kiss me before I left.

"Great!" I smile. "And yours?" I ask my father.

He sits next to me on the couch. He rubs his mustache. "Not too well. Jackie, I don't want to do this, but I'm going to have to go back to work. But I already arranged for Lena to make you something for dinner."

I ignore the flare of pain that knocks the breath out of me. He was ditching me again. I put it aside and convince myself that he was trying. At least he was trying. And anyways, this way I could go back to the Forman's now.

"Actually, Dad, that's okay. I've got some stuff I've got to go do anyways," I give him a quick hug, and before he can say anything else I rush out the garage door and head back to the Forman's house.

o-o-o

"Where's Eric?" I storm into the basement to find Steven and Fez watching television.

"Uh oh," Fez glances at me, and then back at Steven. "The old Jackie's back. The bossy, domineering one. Except, I don't see Kelso. So why is she mad at Eric?" Fez asks me.

"Because Donna called him and he wouldn't talk to her, that's why," I cross my arms and sit on the couch.

"You guys," I hear Eric's voice from the upstairs, and then I hear him come racing down the stairs. "Donna called. I missed it," he says anxiously, coming to sit on the top of the couch near the phone. He stares at it.

I scoff and glare at Eric. "More like you ignored her. When she called me she said that you were too busy in the bathroom to talk to her."

"Forman, how are you always managing to screw yourself over?" Steven asks him in disbelief.

"Yes, Eric, its like you manage to always burn yourself. You don't even need us," Fez was getting too much pleasure out of this.

"So, are you going to call Donna back? Because she sounded really hurt and angry on the phone," I say condescendingly.

"Uh, yeah," Eric says sounding very distant. After a moment he picks up the phone and begins to dial the number written on the piece of paper he is holding.

I feel a pang of jealousy. I hadn't ditched Donna. I'd been talking to her all summer. And yet, she never gave me her number, I had to find it all on my own. She calls Eric once, the guy who played a role in her leaving, he doesn't even talk to her, and she leaves him her number.

But I push away my jealousy. I realized that if I had learned anything this summer, it was how to put others first sometimes, when their own situations were truly worse than my own.

"It's ringing," Eric says in a sing-song voice glancing between the three of us. "It's ringing," he repeats. But then his face falls. "Oh my God, its ringing," and he quickly slams the phone down.

"And Eric chickens out again. Quack, quack, quack," Fez shakes his head in Eric's face. I try not to laugh at Fez's error.

In my periphery, I see Steven shake his head. "Forman. What's the problem?"

"It's just," Eric shakes his head. Despite his cowardliness, I knew he was kicking himself in the butt because of what he had been, and still was, putting Donna through. "I want to tell her to come home, that I miss her, that… I love her. I mean, it's too much to say over the phone."

I could practically see the wheels turning in his brain. Now I was feeling kind of bad for him. So I thought I'd give him some advice.

"Look, Eric. Just write her a letter. That's how I broke up with Michael," I tell him. Then I try to make him laugh. "Yeah. I was able to take my time and come up with good synonyms for," I hold up my finger. "Cowardly, won't marry me loser, run away to California jackass."

Eric clearly doesn't understand that I'm trying to help him. "Jackie," he sighs. "I'm charismatic in person. I've got these awesome hand gestures. And I kind of like, waggle my eyebrows when I talk," he smiles at me derisively.

"Wait, you do that on purpose?" Fez asks, and it takes every ounce of my being not to laugh.

"Thanks, you guys. That's helpful," Eric gets up, clearly fed up with us. "You know what? That's it. I'm going," Eric says determined. "I'll just show up in California, and like, blow her mind."

I could tell, actually we all could tell that he was getting serious because then he went on to make one of his Star Wars comparisons. We all groaned. But he kept talking, getting more and more riled up. But then, wasn't his plan going to accomplish what I was going to try to get done anyway?

Before the conversation could continue, however, Eric and Steven are called upstairs for dinner.

Eric runs up the stairs, but Steven stays down with Fez and me. "Tell Mrs. Forman I've got work," he yells up at Eric.

"Work!" Fez exclaims. "I've got to go." Fez stands and heads for the door.

"But, Fez, I thought you worked this morning?" I ask him.

"I did, but I just remembered that I've got to go to the mall. Today is Fenton's challenge." Then, before I could say anything, he was gone.

I exchanged looks with Steven. "We've got to stop him," I say.

"Agreed," Steven says, getting up out of his chair. "But we have something else we have to take care of first," he walks toward the shelves over by the stairs.

"But Fez is going there right now," I say anxiously.

"Yes, and he has to walk. We don't," he shoves something in his pocket before I can tell what it is. "Let's go," he says.

"Where?" I ask, exasperated.

"You'll see," is all he says.

I grab my purse and follow him outside. "Oh, no. You _have_ to tell me. Because I'm driving. You need a new battery for your car," I cross my arms.

Steven stops abruptly, and I almost run into him. He turns and glares at me, but I detect a hint of amusement in his expression. I give him a winning smile, knowing that I've won.

"Fine. We're going to the airport," he says, and then he heads towards my car and climbs in the passenger seat.

I follow a moment later and climb into the driver's side. Now I know why he didn't want to tell me where we were going. "You're such a good friend to Eric," I say as I pull into the street.

Steven doesn't say anything. Instead, he just looks out the window.

We drive to the airport in comfortable silence. The next time I ask a question isn't until we're in the airport parking lot.

"So, how are you going to pay for his ticket?" I ask him, crossing behind the car to walk next to him.

Steven pulls out the mysterious item from his pocket that he had put there before we left. Or should I say, item_s_. It's a wad of cash. "It's Forman's secret stash. Scooby Doo thermos."

"So you had this brilliant idea to spend Eric's money on something he doesn't even know if he wants to do yet?" I ask uncertain about this plan.

"Look, Jackie. Forman wants this. He's just too twitchy to make this decision on his own. So, its up to us to do it for him," he says as we approach the entrance.

I am once again am truly surprised to see Steven do something like this. I always thought he was just some burnout who would rather burn in Hell then admit to having any emotions. But truth be told, Steven had the biggest heart of gold of all.

Before we step inside, I grab his arm and pull him down, having the sudden urge to kiss him. Sliding one hand down to grab his hand, I use the other to cup the side of his face. When we pull away from each other, however, I don't let go of his hand, and he doesn't let go of mine either.

o-o-o

The parking lot to the mall was full, except for a few spots in the very back. It was probably because of the giant sign plastered across the mall's entrance that read "END OF SUMMER BLOW OUT SALE! BARGAIN PRICES AT ALMOST EVERY STORE!"

"So, let me get this straight. Fenton challenged Fez to wear these embarrassing tight leather pants tonight and walk through the parking lot?" I ask.

"Yes," Steven nods. "And apparently, Fenton said that he would do it if Fez, did, but we both know that's not going to happen."

"Oh my God, this is so weird," I exclaim as we get out of the car. "Well, we better go see if we can find him in time. Before things get ugly."

"Literally," Steven shakes his head.

We head toward the mall, but unfortunately we don't find any foreigners running around in leather pants. We decide to walk around to the other side of the mall in hopes of possibly finding him there.

When we finally see a large gathering of shoppers, I feel my stomach fill with stones. We were too late. We start to run toward the group. We push our way to the middle of the circle they had formed, and indeed, standing in the middle is Fez, wearing nothing but the tight leather pants.

I cover my mouth with my hand. Steven moves forward to pull Fez away, but somebody else makes it into the circle first. It's a middle aged man, short and slightly overweight wearing a gray suit with a striped tie.

"Fez?" the man exclaims. "Is this your idea of a joke?"

I have a bad feeling of who this man is. I look up, and as expected, I see the outdoor entrance to the jewelry store. It was his boss.

"Mr. Weathers!" Fez exclaims. "Oh, no, its just this guy Fen…" his voice falters on Fenton's name as he looks behind him and finds that Fenton is not there.

"Fez?" another person pushes their way into the middle of the circle and stands next to Mr. Weathers. Blond hair. Pearls. Stephanie. Crap. "What are you doing?"

"I…" Fez starts. Then his shoulders slump. "Aye."

"Oh, thank you for coming Mr. Weathers," a third person steps into the circle with Fez. "When I told you one of your employees was prancing through the parking lot making fun of your store wearing only a pair of tight pants, I didn't think you'd believe me."

Fenton spoke to Fez's boss, but was looking straight at Fez. I felt a flare of anger at the incredulity of this guy Fenton. He had sabotaged Fez to get him –

"You're fired!" Mr. Weathers says aloud, his voice matching up with my thoughts. "And you, how would you like a job at my jewelry store?" he says to Fenton.

"Why, I would be honored," Fenton places his hand on his chest and even goes as far as to bow in front of Mr. Weathers.

Steven must decide that this is enough, because he leans forward and grabs Fez by the arm. Then he starts to pull him away from his now ex-boss.

"And we're over!" Stephanie shouts. Okay. Now ex-girlfriend as well.

The crowd parts for us as we hurry back to my car.

Fez climbs into the back seat, not saying a word. "I'd sit with you man," Steven makes a face. "But you'd need to be wearing more clothes," he says as he lets himself into the passenger seat.

"Which reminds me," I say. "We can't just take you back to the Forman's dressed like this," I look at Fez in the rearview mirror as we pull out of the parking lot.

"Aye, just take me home. My clothes are there," Fez says sadly.

I drive to Fez's host parent's home, and we follow him inside. Thankfully, his host parents were not home when we got there.

"Fez, I'm sorry about Stephanie," I say to him through the door as he changes in the bathroom.

"Can't fool with the devil man," Steven pipes in. "You always lose." I glare at Steven. He clears his throat. "But yeah, its sucks that that happened man."

Fez walks out the bathroom still looking depressed, but thankfully fully dressed. "I think I'll just stay here," he shrugs. "You guys can go back to Eric's without me."

"No Fez, you have to come," Steven says. "We got Eric a ticket to go to California, and you should be there to give it to him."

"You did?" Fez asks.

"Uh huh," I nod, hoping this will take his mind off of things. "And he leaves really soon, so you have to come to say goodbye."

"Okay," Fez says, shrugging. "I guess I'll go then."

"Great!" I clasp my hands together and we climb back into my car. This time Steven sits in the back with Fez, but gives me a quick wink when I glance at them in the rearview mirror.

After we're on the road Fez speaks up again. "You know, it's okay that I got fired anyway. I would've had to quit with school starting soon. And Stephanie wasn't really my type either. And Fenton…he can just suck it. Mr. Weather's isn't a good boss, to be honest."

Steven laughs and pats Fez on the shoulder. "That's the spirit, man. That's the spirit."

I lead the way down to the basement, and was happily pleased to find that Eric hadn't stumbled back up to his room, but was instead sitting upright on the couch watching television. I give him a cheeky smile as I walk past him and sit in Steven's chair.

"Forman, there's a flight to California in four hours and you're on it," Steven, who was behind me, hands Eric his ticket. And then, to avoid sentimental value, he adds, "Before you get all gushy, we didn't pay for it. We stole the money from your secret stash…in the Scooby Doo thermos," he says proudly.

All Eric says is "You know about Scooby Doo?" I suppress an eye roll.

Fez, who was now sitting on the back of the couch says "Well it was a good try, but you should have known that eventually, I would need to take some cocoa on the go."

Eric just looks down at the ticket for a moment. "Well, thanks guys," he looks up at Steven. "But my parents will kill me."

I jump in. "No, Eric. We'll cover for you."

After some more speculation, Eric finally jumps up. "You're right. I'm going to do this." He hops over the couch. "I'm going. I've got to go pack."

"Hey, let me help, I love putting together outfits," Fez runs up after him.

When they're both gone I change the channel on the television and then sit next to Steven on the couch.

"Finally," he says.

"Yeah, I thought they'd never leave," I tease him, but lean in to kiss him anyway. He wraps his arm around my neck, but I pull away after a moment, having something I was just dying to say. "You know, Steven, it was really nice of you to get that ticket for Eric."

Steven doesn't meet my eyes. "This usually works a whole lot better when you don't talk."

And immediately I get it. I do. Why Steven keeps avoiding this topic of Eric going to California. Because when he goes to get Donna, Michael comes back too. And this…this comment he just made, it wasn't like him. Not the Steven I knew.

It was the Steven before this summer began, and he was reverting now, back to the way things were two months ago. Because I now understood that this sudden change in his behavior was his way to protect himself from getting hurt.

Because…because he thought I was going to go back to Michael.

The thought strikes me in the chest like a bullet. I couldn't believe Steven thought me so shallow. But then again, if my past actions meant anything, it wasn't a bad prediction. At least for him. But I knew better now. Yes, I was nervous about Michael's return as well. But for a different reason entirely. I was happy now, and one thing I had learned was that happiness balanced on a thin line and one slight breeze could knock it off balance and send it plunging down and away from you. I worried that Michael was going to be that breeze, causing my happiness…which I would admit, was Steven…to slip out of my grasp, and away from me forever.

But as for Steven's concern about Michael, it was pointless. I knew in my soul that I would never go back to him. But no matter how I tried, I wouldn't be able to convince Steven of such. He would have to see for himself.

So I let the comment go, knowing what he really meant. I just shrug, and resume kissing him. He eagerly returns the kiss, wrapping his arms back around my body. Then he pulls me onto his lap, and I shift my weight so that I'm facing him forward. The kiss intensifies. I tighten my hands in his curly hair and his beard chafes roughly against my face. He wraps his arms around my waist, and after a moment rotates me onto my side, putting my back to the couch. He leans over me, locking my legs between his knees. I feel my pulse begin to quicken, but I soon relax when he rests both of his hands on the arm of the couch. And I know he's waiting to see if I'm okay and for permission to continue. This was one of our most intense…make-outs…if you could call it that. But he still respected my wishes and would not force me into anything. And I respected him, in turn. I wrap my arms around his back and grab fistfuls of his t-shirt while craning my neck up to kiss him.

"Steven," I whisper against his mouth.

"Jackie," he returns, and I feel my heart swell.

Because I loved the way he said my name. Steven wasn't a man of many words…but that made the few he did say that much more powerful. And it was only my name. But it was how he said it.

Even on that one Halloween where he made fun of my middle name and I got mad at him. But I hadn't been all that mad, really. Because although I hated my middle name, and he teased me relentlessly for it, when he said it…I hated it a little bit less.

"Steven Hyde," I say against his lips.

"Jackie Beulah Burkhart," I feel his mouth smile, as though he had read my thoughts. I knee him lightly in the stomach.

And he was fun to just hang out with too. Which was how all this had started. Before this summer I had been always pining for Michael, admittedly even when we were broken up. Even when I had pestered Steven for that brief while, I wasn't truly seeing him. But now I was. I was seeing him.

And then how he would do anything for his friends. Just now going to get the ticket for Eric. Or that one time that he pulled the alarms all night for Eric when Donna went to the hotel with Casey.

And he had always been that way for me too. But he had covered it with his constant jabs at me. He took me to prom when I was a sophomore. When Michael was cheating on me he tried to get him caught. When Michael expected me to pay him back for his van, Steven had helped me in proving that Michael owed me even more than I owed him. And he was a friend when I thought I had no one. He was my Sizzler partner. He was my shoe shopping partner. He was my "someone great".

And oh my God I was falling hard for him.

And he had a heart of gold. I'd once been called a gold digger. Maybe I was. But I didn't care. Because now I had found my pot of gold.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – This is a sweet Hyde chapter. Around the time I was writing this chapter, I saw a tumblr post linking me to this article about That '70s Show:  article/70s-show-took-tv-adolescence-down-basement-where-i-207254. I really recommend you take a few minutes to read this article. The name of this chapter is a direct quote from the article. I feel like it's such an accurate description of Hyde, so I had to include it.

2 – Yes, this is that phone call at the very beginning of season 5. Now starts the interlacing of scenes that I wrote, with character dialogue owned by the show (which I have no ownership of!) in season 5. We will see scenes from the first and second episode of the season.


	15. What's Changed and What Remains the Same

It had been ages since I'd been in the Vista Cruiser. But, when Eric, Steven, Fez and I left for the airport, Eric had been insistent that we take his car. We had all argued that it would have been easier for Eric to sneak out unsuspected from his parents if we had taken my car, but Eric wanted to drive, so the Vista Cruiser it was.

"I feel…like a new man," Eric grinned as he steered the wheel.

I roll my eyes in the backseat. "Eric, you were never a man to begin with."

"You know, Jackie, normally I'd let that comment get to me, but tonight I'm like, so happy that I don't even care," Eric grins. Talk about annoying.

"Yeah, well, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even be going," I cross my arms. Out the window I see a sign that indicates we are nearing the airport.

"Uh…how is that, exactly?" Steven glances at me.

"Well," I flip my hair. "Eric, you would've been too chicken to do this if Donna hadn't called. And I was the one who convinced her to call you."

"Okay, Jackie. Whatever you say," Eric writes me off. I reach forward and hit him in the back of the head. "Ow, Jackie!" he says accusingly.

"Don't you mean 'thank you Jackie for your help with Donna'? If so, then, you're welcome!" I say ubër cheerily.

Eric ignores me now and pulls into the airport parking lot.

"So this is an airport," Fez says dreamily from the passenger seat.

"You don't have them where you're from?" Steven asks him as we all get out of the car.

The night air is cold, even though it's August. I shiver and yawn in spite of myself. The airport was pretty far from Point Place, and it had to be almost eleven o'clock. I wouldn't get home until after midnight. This had been a long day. Had I really gotten manicures with Kitty just this morning?

The three of us walk Eric to the well-lit building in the distance, bustling with thousands of people carrying bags. Reuniting with loved ones. Or leaving them. I wonder how Donna will react when she sees Eric. Will she refuse to see him? Or will all their past indiscretions be forgiven and they will start over? I guess I'd find out soon enough.

"Alright guys. I guess this is as far as you can go," Eric points to a sign once we enter the building.

"What is _that_?" Fez asks suddenly, pointing to one of the large conveyer belts that handle luggage.

"See you soon Fez," Eric hugs his friend quickly, laughing at his confusion.

"Thanks again Hyde," Eric pulls his brother into a huge bear hug before Steven has time to react to Eric's so-called 'gushiness'. "You have no idea what this means to me."

"Yes, I do Forman. Now, let me go," Steven makes a face as he pulls himself out of Eric's grasp. "God, stop acting like this is the last time we'll see you."

"Well, you never know," Eric smiles. "This is a one-way ticket. Maybe I'll love California and never return."

"Good, then I can have your room," Steven deadpans.

I use this as my opening and grab Eric around the shoulders, surprising him with a bear hug of my own. "Have a safe trip Eric," I tell him before letting him go. Eric gives me a look like I'm crazy. "You know, I _can_ be nice, I just choose to be a bitch," I shrug.

"All right then. Bye," Eric turns without another word and heads off.

Eric had given Steven his car keys, so he drove back, and Fez took the front passenger seat, which left me to the backseat myself. It was now almost eleven thirty.

I stretch out across the backseat and lie down, using my arm as a pillow. I figured I could get some rest on the long way back to Point Place. I couldn't talk to Steven with Fez here, and there wasn't really anything I was dying to discuss with Fez, so I close my eyes.

I focus on the white noise of the tires rapidly spinning over the pavement. The occasional street lamp flashes through my eyelids, and soon the pattern becomes steady enough that I slip out of consciousness.

o-o-o

The sound of the cutting of an engine wakes me up. The sudden nothingness. No sound. No movement. No moving lights.

I sit up and see that Steven is parked in front of my house.

"What time is it?" I rub my eyes as I reach for the door handle.

"Uh, almost twelve thirty," Steven glances at his watch.

"My father's going to kill me," I groan. "He knows Donna isn't in town, so I have no explanation."

"Do you want me to explain it to him?" Steven offers.

His offer comes as a shock especially after how he was acting this afternoon. But if anything, it just reinforced my theory about him. "No," I say. Then I give a small laugh. "It will just make it worse if he thinks I've been with a boy all night."

"More like three," Steven chuckles.

"Not the point. Okay, good night," I say.

"Night," he says, turning in his seat so he can kiss me. I reach forward one hand to touch his cheek, and he grabs my wrist with his hand.

By the time I walk inside, I feel this renewed sense of purpose. Tomorrow might bring back Donna. I couldn't wait to see my redheaded lumberjack friend again.

My thoughts are interrupted when I find my father sitting in the living room wearing his pajamas and reading a book. When I see him I stop short. I hadn't thought he'd wait up for me. My parents never did.

"You better have an explanation as to where you've been," he says sternly, putting down his book and folding his glasses in his lap.

"Helping a friend," I say vaguely.

"What friend?"

"Eric," I don't hesitate.

I can tell he hadn't expected my honesty. That, or he just didn't have a clue what he was supposed to do.

"You've had me worried sick. You can't just stay out past midnight without letting me know where you're going to be. And really, I still don't know what you were doing with that Eric kid. Jackie, you're grounded…for a week," my father stands up.

"You can't ground me!" I shout. "I've been staying out late with my friends for as long as I can remember and you and mom never worried, let alone cared," I say icily, getting worked up.

"Jackie, I told you I was going to try harder, so you should've known to at least call," my father says, on the defense now.

"Oh, really? I was supposed to just know? Well, this is new to me too Dad, I don't know what you expect unless you tell me," I'm on a roll.

"Jackie," he interrupts, taking a step towards me.

"And what about all those times in the past, huh? You never cared then, so why should I care now? Why should I give a shit?" I can't stop, and my picture of him gets fuzzy as tears fill my eyes.

I don't want him to see me cry. I don't want him to know how much I really do care. I want him to know that I don't need him, I never did. So I spin on my heel and without another word storm up the stairs.

All the progress we'd made…we couldn't just forget about the past. It shaped us. I could handle myself. And my father needed to know that before we could truly make any progress.

I don't bother changing. I just throw myself onto my bed and wait for sleep to come. It takes a long time, and it seems that I soon as I fall into it, I fall out, and the morning light is streaming through my window and my already chipped manicure is the first thing I see once I open my eyes.

I shower and change into fresh clothes. However, when I go to get my blow dryer out of the bathroom I remember that I left it in the bathroom downstairs when I was running late yesterday morning on my way to go out with Kitty.

Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, I begin to realize that something is off. For some reason I didn't expect to find myself alone in the house. I thought my father would be here.

I head towards the first floor bathroom, shaking the sleep from my head. Why? Why did I think that?

I reach the bathroom and pick up my blow dryer. I glance at myself in the mirror. "Think," I whisper to my reflection.

Then I remember, and its like I can see the realization flash in my eyes through the mirror.

I was supposed to be grounded.

I drop my blow dryer. It falls onto the tile floor and I watch helplessly as it cracks open. But I don't care. I move back into the main house and run to the front door. Then I open it and walk out.

o-o-o

"I broke my blow dryer," I tell Kitty once she lets me inside and she asks what's wrong. Actually, there is a lot more wrong. My father. Steven. Donna. Michael. But all I can muster is how I broke some cheap, inanimate object.

I had to walk here, since I had left my car at the Forman's last night. My hair was probably a frizzy mess now. "Could I maybe, like, borrow yours?" I ask Kitty.

She smiles sweetly at me. "Tell you what?" she says as we pass through the living room and head for the stairs. We pass Red who is sitting on his green chair enjoying some television. "I'll fix your hair for you," she finishes her statement as she leads me up the stairs.

"Thank you," I say softly.

Kitty leads me to her bedroom and points for me to sit on a chair as she walks into her bathroom. She returns a minute later holding her blow dryer and hair brush. She begins to brush my hair and I just sit back and close my eyes.

After a few moments Kitty speaks up. "So, Jackie. I'm going to ask you again. What's wrong?"

I don't say anything for a long time, and its not until she turns on the blow dryer do I answer. "I'm grounded," I say simply.

Kitty immediately turns it off. "You're grounded," she says. But she doesn't ask the next question. She doesn't need to.

"I'm here because he never cared before, so what's changed?" I say, but I'm pretty sure Kitty isn't really able to follow my train of thought.

"All right, Jackie. I know you have your reasons, and its not my place to judge, so I'm not going to call your father – "

"He wouldn't care anyway," I interrupt.

"But, if he calls, looking for you," Kitty continues. "I'm going to have to tell him that you're here."

"Okay," I say, but only because I know that he won't call.

Then we fall into silence again as she turns on the blow dryer.

o-o-o

After Kitty finished blow drying my hair and after I finished styling it I decide to head down to the basement because, let's face it, that's obviously where Steven and Fez would be.

And of course, that's where they were, and they were playing cards. Looked like Setback. I walk over to where I left my sweater down here yesterday.

"Aye, diamonds is trump?" Fez looks at the card Steven puts down. "Diamonds, you are my enemy!"

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend, Fez," I tell him as I check my sweater's pockets for my car keys. They aren't there.

"Well, they're my best friend too right now," Steven says. I sit down in the lawn chair to watch them play. "High, low, Jack and game," Steven displays his cards in front of Fez. "I win."

"Did you bid four?" I ask.

"Hell yeah," Steven says.

"Why can't we play Candy Land?" Fez whines. "That game is so happy."

"Because Fez, Forman hides his cash in there," Steven explains.

"Speaking of Eric, have either of you heard from him?" I ask. They both shake their heads. "Hmm…I wonder if he's seen Donna yet. Of course Donna hasn't called me yet, so that's probably a good sign. Or, it could be a bad one – "

"Jackie. You in?" Steven is holding the deck of cards and looking at me expectantly…and annoyed.

"Uh, no. I've got to go find my car keys. I can't remember where I left them yesterday," I jump out of the lawn chair and climb the stairs to the kitchen.

I look around and eventually find my keys in the kitchen on the hutch behind the table.

"Bingo," I grab them and turn to head back down the basement. Only instead I see Steven come into the kitchen. "Oh, hey. I found them," I wave my keys in the air. "What are you doing?" I walk up to him and give him a quick kiss.

"Well, I told Fez I came to get a snack," Steven pulls me over to the fridge with him. "So I guess I better get one," he says as he opens the fridge.

"Ooh," I giggle. "How about this?" I reach forward and kiss him.

Steven doesn't respond to my stupid joke, but he pulls me closer and wraps one of his arms around my back. I rest both my hands on his hips and the kiss deepens. And then all that's left is me and him. Not the hum of the refrigerator or the fact that Fez was in the basement. I lose myself in him, with him, and everything is right.

I break the kiss, but neither one of us pulls away from each other. I need to tell him something. And he probably wouldn't want to hear it, because it was how I felt about him, but I needed to tell him.

"Okay, look Steven," I take a breath. "These last few weeks with you have been really dirty and really wrong," I start, trying to think about how I can sneak in what I want to say before he can shut me down.

Steven raises his eyebrows slightly, annoyed from what I just said. Too late I realize I paused at a bad moment. "Jackie, talking is for people who have something in common."

I wanted to hit him. He knew I was getting serious so he cut me off. I wasn't personally offended, because I knew it was just how he was. He was uncomfortable with feelings and so he pretended he had none. Although, actions spoke louder than words, and if that were any indication, I knew he had emotions.

But not only that. He was also wrong. We had a lot in common, things that were less superficial than concepts like taste in music and fashion. We had similar parent issues for one. The same sense of humor. And I knew we had the same feelings for each other. I'd get him to come to terms with that eventually.

So for that reason, and for the fact that Fez was downstairs waiting for him, I just shrug and pull his mouth back to mine. (1)

Things start to heat up again, but then I hear the sound of someone walking into the kitchen at the same moment Steven pulls away from me.

"Oh, good God," Kitty says. Steven takes a step back. "You kids switch partners more than square dancers," she says desperately. She shakes her head and glances between the two of us.

I wipe my mouth with my hand as though it would erase what she just saw.

"Um, no its not what you think!" Steven reacts a moment later. I look at him expectantly. "We're not together."

Then I look back at Kitty. "Then what is going on in my kitchen?" she says calmly.

Uh, good question. "Um," I start. I try to think of something to explain that, but it quickly became clear that that wasn't going to happen. So I decided to throw her off track. "Eric's in California," I blurt.

Success. With that Kitty quickly exits from the kitchen without another word. I feel bad, but at the same time relieved that Steven and I are off the hook.

I look back at Steven. He seems somewhat shocked. "Jackie, you just totally burned Forman," I detect a smile rising at the corners of his mouth. "That is so badass," he says as he reaches for me again, and once again we find ourselves making out in front of the fridge.

"Okay," I laugh and reluctantly pull away after another minute. "You better get back to Fez before he sees us too. Just tell him you ate your snack up here."

"Yeah," Steven says slowly. "Okay." Then he closes the door to the refrigerator and heads back downstairs.

Then I turn into the living room and brace myself for a lot of questions.

"You!" Red points to me the second that I walk through the door. "What do you mean Eric is in California?"

"I…I mean," I falter. I wring my hands together thinking of what to say. "I mean just that. He went to go see Donna."

Red turns away from me and faces Kitty who is standing near the keyboard. "Does he not understand that no means no?" he asks her.

Kitty shrugs and looks down at her feet. Red turns back to me. "Do you know how he got there?"

"He bought a, uh, plane ticket," I say. No way would I tell Red that Steven bought it for him. Then he'd get in trouble too.

Red doesn't say anything for a moment. He looks off into the distance. I can tell he is trying to keep his composure…he'd save his outburst for Eric. "When does he get back?" he manages.

I was at a loss. If I told him the truth he'd blow up for sure. But what other option did I have? "As soon as he gets Donna," I say vaguely.

"And when would that be?" Kitty asks, seeing as Red is still fighting for control.

"I…I don't know," I concede. They both look at me expectantly. "It was a one-way ticket," I say reluctantly. "But, but, okay Michael has his van, so, the plan is for them to drive back," I improvise, hoping to make things better.

If anything, this makes Red's face grow even graver. He's a ticking time bomb. Maybe it was the mention of Michael's name. He seemed to have that effect on everyone. What a loser. (2)

"Okay, Jackie," Kitty laughs nervously. "Come with me into the kitchen," she grabs my arm, no longer laughing and we rush into the kitchen.

"What, what's wrong?" I ask her. She begins to pace back and forth. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't've told you," I say apologetically.

"No, no. It was the right thing to do. I just had to get you out of there. Red, he's just," she starts laughing again. "Well, he's got a temper."

I nod, not sure what to say. I lean against the wall after a moment, exhausted. "I just…I wasn't supposed to tell you. I even told Eric that we'd cover for him."

"Well," Kitty frowns as she sits down at the kitchen bar. "I won't tell him it was you, if that helps." She looks up at me and smiles. "But if you told him you wouldn't tell, then, well…why did you?" she asks.

For about half a second I can't remember. But then I remember that about two minutes ago before all this drama with Eric, Kitty had seen me and Steven making out in front of her refrigerator.

I see her gaze widen a moment later as she remembers too. Then I see her eyes flicker to the refrigerator momentarily. I swallow.

"Oh, right," she looks down. I glance helplessly at the door to the basement, eager to escape.

Kitty's laughter starts up again, and breaks my focus on the basement door. Except its not her signature, nasal laugh, its more of a quiet, concealed chuckle.

"What?" I say quietly, at a complete loss.

"Well, I just think its so cute," Kitty drawls as she stands up and walks over to me where I am standing by the telephone. "My little Steven has a girlfriend! One he has known for years, and when one summer they find themselves by themselves without their friends, they can come to terms with how they feel about each other. Oh, its like a love story!" Kitty jumps up and down. (3)

I feel my cheeks turning red. "No, no, please don't tell anyone Mrs. Forman. And I'm not Steven's girlfriend."

Kitty gives me a look that tells me I'm being utterly ridiculous. "How long has this been going on for?"

I don't know why she is asking, but I decide to be honest. "About a month," I admit.

"You're his girlfriend," she says matter-of-factly.

"No. Steven doesn't want a girlfriend," I argue.

Kitty gives me a sad look. "Look, Jackie. I may not be a teenager anymore, but I know how they think. Especially my kids, and I consider Steven my son. And if you're not a girlfriend, that makes you a 'fling.' And this has been going on to long for this to be a 'fling.'"

"But – " I begin.

"And you two have known each other since you were little kids. Steven wouldn't have a fling with you. He has flings with girls like that, like…that Chrissy chick. Or that other girl Kat. But he knows that he has to see you every day, because you both are part of the same group of friends. That would be terribly awkward if it were a fling."

"Yeah, but for Steven this is just something to do over the summer," I say. I don't know when it became more for me than just that though. Something more than just something to do over the summer. And all I knew now is that I desperately wanted it to mean more to Steven too. But I was beginning to think that it wasn't.

We could all feel the autumn approaching, and now our friends would be coming back too. Things would be back to normal. Maybe all of Steven's comments that I had written off were really an indication that he was ready for things to come to an end.

"Okay," Kitty shrugs. "But if that were true, if this is just something for him to do, then why'd he pick you? Why not any other girl in Wisconsin?" Kitty pauses, giving me a moment to think about it. "I'm telling you Jackie, Steven knew what he was doing when this started. You're his girlfriend."

I didn't know what to say. She made sense, and I so wanted her to be right. But my gut told me otherwise. I give her a shrug and a weak smile and then move toward the basement.

It's a lot more peaceful down here. Steven is in his chair, Fez in the lawn chair, so I happily lay my body across the couch. I lay on my back and cover my face with my arm. From where I am lying though, I see that Steven is reading a magazine before I cover my eyes, and behind me I hear Fez eating candy.

"Okay, here's the deal with Eric," I say without removing my arm from my face. "I told Red and Kitty that he bought himself that ticket so we don't get in trouble, and that the plan is for all three of them to ride back in Michael's van. I don't know if that's what they actually plan to do, but that's what I told Red in attempt to curb his anger. That's the story."

"Wait, you told Mr. Red and Ms. Kitty?" I hear Fez ask. "Why?"

I drop my arm and see Steven staring at me, wide-eyed. "Um," Steven starts. "Because, uh, when I went up there to get a snack I tried to sneak some beer and Kitty caught me. Jackie threw her off track though."

"Oh," Fez, says unsuspecting. Then I hear the crinkle of his bag of candy behind my head once again.

I re-cover my eyes with my arm and try not to think. Unfortunately, the only sounds in the room are Fez's candy bag and Steven flipping through a magazine. So my mind quickly wanders. I think about my dad pretending to care. I think about my absent mother. I think about how my dad's in trouble at work. I think about telling on Eric, after I had so confidently told him that we'd cover for him. I think about Red's outrage. I think about Kitty finding out about me and Steven. I think about how she thought we were cute. I think about how I want to be with Steven, not just as a 'fling.' I think about the end of summer and how that could change everything once again. I think about how I don't want it to change.

I sit up suddenly. "Steven, do you have any film?" I rub my eyes as they re-adjust to the lights. "Can we please have a Circle? I know there are only three of us. But I can't stop _thinking_."

I'm sitting up now, but I'm curled in the fetal position and I still have my eyes covered. I want to stop thinking. I need to stop. It only made me stress more, which in turn caused me to blow things way out of proportion and make problems much worse than they really were.

"Fez, go get my stash, it's in one of my boots," I hear Steven say.

"But why can't you…oh, never mind," I hear Fez stand and walk back towards Steven's room.

After a moment, I feel hands wrap around my wrists and they pull my hands away from my eyes. Then I see Steven standing over me, with his gaze behind me on his room, watching for Fez.

"Hey, you're okay," he whispers, then leans forward and kisses me on the forehead. Then he pulls back and let's go of my wrists before sitting back in his chair.

I feel so weak and awful, and what Steven just did makes it even worse. He didn't say much, but he didn't need to. What he had done was enough, but that made me more confused about everything.

Fez returns a moment later with Steven's stash, and a few minutes later we are in the circle, and I can see the pain and confusion drifting away.

"Let's make a toast," Fez says. "With this Circle."

"A toast to what?" I ask and Fez shrugs.

Steven nods and his next words send a chill down my spine and all of a sudden this stuff isn't strong enough to hold back the pain.

"A toast," he says. "To the end of the summer."

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – In the first episode of season 5, this scene between Jackie and Hyde in the Forman kitchen really bothers me, because, of course as a borderline insane 'shipper of Jackie and Hyde, I don't like the apathy found in either character in this moment. So when actually writing out this scene from Jackie's perspective, I have her analyze why Hyde would act like that, and then justify her response as well. As a result, I hope to convey to the reader that this so-called passive behavior in this scene is really something else once you have the underlying context.

2 – I just want to point out that I truly do not think Kelso is a loser. I actually think he is really funny and a loyal friend, if not an awful boyfriend and a player. Regardless, this is being told from the perspective of Jackie, and she definitely has some choice words for Kelso at this point in the show.

3 – Kitty is just like us. :)


	16. The Rest of Forever

"I'm leaving."

Fez stands up from the lawn chair and walks toward the door to the basement. His sudden movement wakes me from my half-sleep. I'm half-sitting-half-lying on the couch and to be honest, had been catching up on some much needed rest after last night. I was watching TV, but not really watching it.

"They probably decided to stay in California for the day. I'll see them tomorrow," Fez opens the door.

"Night Fez," I mumble without lifting my head from its reclined position.

"Night," Steven mimes. Then Fez leaves.

I watch the TV as a new episode of Three's Company starts. I was keeping track of time through television episodes. If my math was right, it was now nine o' clock.

I get up and stumble over towards the deep freeze to get a Popsicle. Then I lay back down on the couch, careful not to get too sticky.

"You know, I'm sure they won't get here in the next hour if you want to go home and eat," Steven says.

I lift my head and look at him. "What?"

"Did you ever go home to eat dinner?" Steven looks up from his magazine.

"I went to have dinner when you went to eat with the Forman's," I say. I would have asked Kitty if I could stay, but since I was grounded, she probably would've sent me home.

"Uh huh, that's what you said," Steven gives me a look that says I'm being unreasonable. "But I never heard the Lincoln start up, so I know you never left."

Well, I can't argue that. So I just rest my head again and watch the TV screen. I roll my eyes when Chrissy says one of her traditional stupid remarks.

"I don't need to go home to eat. I have a Popsicle," I say evasively.

"What else was in there?" Steven gets up. He gets himself a Popsicle. "There's some frozen fries. I can put those in the dryer for you."

"What?" I sit up.

"Yep. Rotisserie French fries," Steven grins and lifts up the bag of fries. (1)

"You're insane," I laugh. "And…no. That sounds gross."

"Your choice if you want to go hungry," Steven shrugs as he sits down with his Popsicle, but he is laughing too.

Then we watch the TV in silence. After the episode ends, another Three's Company starts. At ten o' clock, a re-run of The Brady Bunch starts.

"God, I hate this show," I shift positions on the couch.

I see Steven glance at me in his periphery. "Yes, this show absolutely sucks. Not that I'm complaining Jackie, but shouldn't you go home? It's ten o'clock."

I keep staring at the TV. "I want to be here when Donna and Eric get back," I say quickly.

I see Steven turn back to the TV and cross his arms. "Is it those two who you are really waiting for?" Steven asks knowingly.

I snap my head in his direction. How did he know? "No," I say slowly. "You're right. I'm waiting for someone else."

"So you _are_ waiting for Kelso?" Steven looks at me. He has a straight face, but I detect a hint of surprise.

"What? No!" I say, taken aback. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"Then who are you waiting for?" he asks, now slightly angry.

This in turn makes me angry as well. I focus my attention back on the TV. "You know why I hate this show?" I say sharply. "Because Marcia is so freaking perfect, and so is her mother _and_ her father…and he's not even her real father."

Steven doesn't say anything. He just looks at me. He shakes his head slightly and raises one eyebrow encouraging me to continue, although I can tell he's not all too pleased with me either.

I lift my arm and rest it on the telephone sitting on the tree trunk table sitting in-between us. "I am NOT waiting for Michael. I'm waiting for this to ring. I've been waiting since I got here this morning. And you know who I'm waiting for on the other line? _My father_."

Steven keeps giving me that look. So I continue. "Because he grounded me last night, when he has no right," I launch into my story about that. "He knows I'm here, I've basically told him as much. So if he 'cares' as much as he says he does, he'll call. And until he does, I have no intention of going home."

Now Steven looks down at his feet. He nods minutely and purses his lips. After a moment he stands up and walks toward the deep freeze. "I hate the Brady family too," he says finally. Then he pulls out the bag of French fries and puts them in the dryer. Then he sits down.

When the dryer rings he gets the bag and eats a few fries. Once he deems them acceptable he passes me the bag. "Eat up," he says. "It could be a while."

I smile, despite myself. "Thank you." After a few minutes I decide to ask him something. His declaration of hating the Brady's reminded me. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"What?"

"There. You did it again," Steven looks at me now, smiling bemusedly. When he sees my confusion he just shrugs. "Never mind. Shoot."

"When Bud left Edna…did he, like, keep in touch with you?" I ask.

"Nope."

Not the answer I was hoping for. I glance down at the bag of fries. Oh, what the hell? I pick one up and start to munch on it. Besides it being a little mushy, its not all that bad.

"I'm probably going to regret this…but why do you ask?" Steven groans.

"No reason."

"Look, Bud didn't just walk out on Edna. He walked out on me too. He wanted nothing to do with us. When Edna left, it was because she wanted nothing to do with me either. Does that answer your question better?" Steven asks.

I eat another French fry and think about what he just said. When Steven and I had gone on that one date last year, I had told him a bunch of crap about how he was worthy of love and he just laughed me off. But I only now realized how much he needed to understand that. Both of his parents had walked out on him. And that made me really sad. Because despite his stubborn demeanor, Steven was a really good human being. He deserved better than that.

"No, but it answered a different question," I tell him.

The reason I had asked him about Bud keeping in contact with him was because I was wondering about my own mother. Like Steven's dad, my mom had left her spouse, and thus far had done nothing to contact me.

Steven's answer had done nothing to enlighten me to my own mother's habits. She had left my father for entirely her own reasons. But his answer did tell me this.

Steven was incredibly insecure. Because of his upbringings with Bud and Edna, he had grown accustomed to believing that people would just use him and would eventually leave him. He had no idea of self-worth.

And this gave me a pretty good idea of where his head was at with the whole Michael situation. He expected me to do the very same thing that his parents did to him. He thought I'd leave him. And that made my heart flutter while simultaneously breaking it. Because it made me sad for him that he lived with that expectation, but it also explained his recent behavior. My original theory was probably right. He was protecting himself by trying to end things before I did.

But I had no intention of ending things with him.

I still however, disagreed with Kitty. I don't think Steven thought I was his girlfriend. Although I wouldn't mind that. But I smile now, regardless, because I knew one thing for sure.

Steven was protecting himself because if I left him that would hurt him. Because he didn't want me to leave him. He at least liked me that much.

o-o-o

It must be almost eleven o'clock. And I am utterly exhausted. It's a struggle to keep my eyes open, especially after staying out so late last night. And honestly, the Brady's weren't all that exciting.

I glance over at Steven, who, after our anger had dissipated, had sat next to me on the couch to binge on the bag of French fries. I l had turned so I was sitting sideways on the couch and Steven had let my rest my feet in his lap. But glancing at him now, I see that he actually has fallen asleep. I feel a pang of guilt. I hadn't thought about how my staying here was keeping him up to.

I would get up, turn off the TV and leave so that he could get some sleep, but he is resting his arm over my ankles, which would make it very difficult to slip out without waking him.

After a moment, I decide that it is worth the risk. I slip my feet to the floor, but not without waking him. He watches me as I get up.

"Fez was probably right," I say. "Eric and Donna probably decided to wait until tomorrow to come back."

Steven knows what I really mean. I can see it in his eyes that he knows that my father never called.

"So, I'm just going to go home," I shrug as I stand up. "Good night."

"Wait," Steven gets up too. Then he cups my face in his hands and kisses me, long and languidly. He sits on the couch, pulling me down onto his lap.

I wrap both arms around his neck and hold him tightly. He removes his hands from my face and moves them to my waist. Slowly, his hands move up my back and entwine in my hair. After a moment I pull my mouth away from him.

"I have to go," I whisper in his ear.

He doesn't respond, but just moves to kissing my neck. I almost get lost in the bliss of it, but I force myself to focus. I unwrap my arms from around his neck and now I'm the one to cup his face as I pull his head back to face mine and his lips back to my own. I give him one last lingering kiss before pulling back. I stay close enough however, that our noses still touch and we breathe the same air.

And I'm close enough to see the look in his eyes, full of desperation, and maybe fear. And that confirms my suspicions about him. Because I knew that part of the reason Steven wore sunglasses was because his eyes always bore the emotions he so expertly kept hidden.

So I hug him. I just hug him. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and lean my head against his. In turn, I feel him squeeze his arms around my waist in his own hug. And I know we could stay like this, together, for the rest of forever.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I say, and I can't help but kiss him again, one more moment of heat and intensity before I stand up and quietly step out the door.

My father's car was in the garage when I finally got home. His bedroom door was closed and his light was shut off.

o-o-o

"I wonder if they are here yet," I remark.

"Jackie," Steven says.

"I wonder if Donna will get in any trouble," I continue.

"Jackie," Steven repeats.

"I mean, I know Eric will, but what about Donna?" I add.

"Jackie. Shut up," Steven holds up a pile of photos he finished developing. Then he puts them down on the table in front of me. "Please. Just focus on packaging these."

"Fine," I say. "But I know you're just as curious as I am."

It's the next morning and Steven had asked for a hand at work because Leo had a cold. I had agreed, but not without worrying that I'd miss Donna and Eric's arrival. There was no way in which we could know when they would get back, but if Eric still thought he was fooling his parents, it would probably be sooner rather than later.

"Jackie, could you take care of that customer?" Steven asks. "I'm busy with this film."

"Yeah, sure," I turn in my seat to face the window. "Hi! Name please?"

The customer is a girl about my age, driving a blue 1968 Dodge Charger. She had long dark hair, and the girl in the passenger seat was a ginger, like Donna, and was wearing black wire-framed glasses.

"Dani, this is for you," the driver looks at the other girl.

The red-head leans forward and I think I recognize her from her photographs. "Yeah. Summers."

I turn to the box in front of me and look for the 'S' names. "First name?" I ask her.

"Danielle," the girl says. I find her photographs and she pays me before I hand it to her.

"Here you go," I say. "Have a nice day."

"You too!" Danielle replies, and then she and her friend pull out of the lot.

"Steven, I'm bored," I complain to him a few minutes later when I finish packaging all the pictures. No one else has come up to the window either.

"Uh-huh," is all he says. His back is to me as he focuses on his task at hand.

Getting an idea, I reach over the top of the cabinets and lift a camera off of it. Being in the Foto Hut and seeing all these photos often made me nostalgic for memories that were not even mine to remember. And I hardly took photos, so I had nothing to look back on for my memories.

But I decide now that I want to remember this summer. I want to have pictures of how things were that summer that my boyfriend and best friend left me. And I want to remember how it was the best summer that I had ever had. Especially since the summer would end in a few days. I didn't intend for things to change once it was over, but this was for safe-keeping.

Leaning into the view-finder I focus the camera and snap a picture of Steven. It's of his back, and I can only see the very side of his face, but I don't care. Then I get another idea. I pick up a pen from the desk and hold it to the side of the camera. I lean back into the view-finder.

"Hey Steven. What's this? I ask him.

He puts down the roll of film in his hand and turns to look at me. Because I held the pen directly next to the camera, his eyes shoot immediately to the object I am holding and I snap the picture.

"Oh, never mind. It's just a pen," I shrug and put it back down.

"Jackie, what are you doing?" Steven asks, annoyed once again.

"Nothing," I say innocently, but do nothing to hide the camera.

"Sure," he nods before returning to the film.

"Wait," I get up and rush over to him. I hop up on the counter where he is sitting so that I can be the same height as he is and I flip the camera in my hand so the lens is facing me. I reach my other arm around his neck and pull his face next to mine. "Smile!" I say before I snap the picture.

"Alright, Jackie, that's enough," Steven says, but I can tell he's not angry. "We're almost done. Then we can go wait for Forman and Donna. If Donna is even coming."

A week later, I would have those pictures developed, but I didn't take them to the Foto Hut, because I knew Steven probably would've thrown them away. And as soon as I saw them, especially the last two, I knew that I would keep them for the rest of my life.

Because in the second one, the one I took of him when I held up the pen, had come out perfectly. He was looking straight at the camera, and because he was developing film, he had taken his sunglasses off. Without them, I could see his steady gaze, and the open curiosity as he turned around. And I was thrilled because I had captured him, eternally, in a picture. I had captured who he was behind all his disguises, both those literal and figurative.

And in the third picture of him and me, I was staring straight at the camera and was smiling wide. I looked really happy. But the best part of the picture was Steven. And he wasn't even looking at the camera or smiling. His eyes were turned to the side and he was looking right at me. And one side of his mouth was quirked upward in a half-hearted smirk. He looked happy too.

o-o-o

"I can't believe that they're not here yet," I groan as Steven, Fez and I sit around in the basement later that afternoon, bored out of our own minds.

"Maybe Eric and Donna decided to run away," Fez suggests. He picks up a yo-yo off the coffee table. He had been picking that thing up again and again.

"Nah, Forman doesn't have the balls for that Fez," Steven explains to him.

Fez puts down the yo-yo again and shrugs. "I just wish he'd get here already. I'm tired of waiting."

Tell me about it. I was tired of waiting too. I was reading an old issue of Cosmo and I had practically every page memorized at this point.

Meanwhile, Steven was watching a re-run of a boxing match. I had a feeling he knew not only who won, but how they won too.

Fez picks up the yo-yo again.

"Okay, I'm leaving," I sit up on the couch and throw my magazine to the floor. Every second more of waiting drove me further off the cliff. I needed to do _something_ productive.

I don't get very far, and end up walking back inside the Forman's house when I see that Kitty is sitting at the kitchen table and I decide to join her.

"Hey, Mrs. Forman. Can I ask you something?" I say as I slide open the door.

"Sure, honey, have a seat," she pats the chair next to her.

"Okay, so remember how I told you yesterday that I was grounded?" I sit down and cross my arms.

"Yes," Kitty nods. And with a deep sigh, I launch into my story about my father. When I finish a few minutes later, the first thing Kitty does is stand up and walks toward the refrigerator. "Well, first of all, I'm going to make you a sandwich, because I'm beginning to wonder the last time that you had a healthy meal that wasn't at my house."

I watch her silently as she prepares me a sandwich, not really wanting to put her out of the way, but just now realizing how hungry I really am, especially since the last thing that I had really had to eat was dryer-heated frozen French fries.

"Alright Jackie. The only thing I can tell you is to let your father be your father. I understand why you don't think you should've been grounded, and I'm actually in agreement with you on that. But," Kitty pauses for a moment to think as she sits down next to me again. "But don't shut him out, okay? Let him do something fatherly for you. And when he does, don't throw it in his face that he has no right."

"But Mrs. Forman, he doesn't have the right – "

"Maybe so. But if you want him to be your father…you need to let him try." And with that Kitty stood, patted my shoulder and stepped out of the kitchen into the living room.

I stare down at my half-eaten sandwich thinking that there might have been a grain of truth in what she said. However, any further thoughts I may have had are interrupted when through the sliding glass door I see a green and white VW bus pull up in the Forman driveway.

I almost choke on my sandwich, but I hurry to the basement door. "Steven, Fez," I call. Then more quietly so Mrs. Forman doesn't hear. "They're here."

Fez flies up the stairs, and Steven follows more slowly. I wait for him and when we finally step outside I practically knock over Donna from the force of my hug.

"Donna!" I pull away from her and stand next to her. "I missed you."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I missed you too," she smiles at me.

We look over at the guys, and I'm surprised to see Steven pull Eric in for a hug.

"So, my folks have no idea I was gone?" Eric asks, immediately getting down to business.

"No idea, you're golden!" Steven tells him, smiling mischievously. I almost butt in and correct him. Almost.

"Aww, Hyde!" Michael comes around behind Donna and me and pulls his friend into a hug. "You got a beard!" he says ecstatically. "You look so...old," he says, still smiling like an idiot.

"Of course I look old, man," Steven smiles. He would never admit it, but I could tell he missed his friend. "I partied more than you. Worked more, drank more and slept with way more chicks," he teases him. "I'm exhausted man,"

I took a small, greedy delight in knowing that none of that was actually true…except the part about work.

"Fez, my little man," Michael jumps to him next, and I am already getting tired of his loud, obnoxious voice. So, as they continue to talk, I pull Donna back so I can talk to her.

"Look. Donna, I know you're nervous about seeing people at school after running away and all…but I want you to know, its all under control." I can't help but smile. "I told everyone you went away to have a baby," I nod.

"What?" Donna says, appalled.

"Yeah, yeah. It was badass," I nod eagerly. "Oh, yeah. I say badass now," I grin. Donna just looks at me, half-amused, half-worried.

I hear the sliding door open behind me, and I know that means Red and Kitty are here. And I did not want to see this.

"I was only kidding. About the baby thing, at least," I pat Donna on the shoulder, and then disappear as fast as I can down into the basement.

A few minutes later I hear the door from the kitchen open, and several sets of feet clomp down the stairs. I have the TV on, but I don't bother to turn it off.

"Well, it looks like its just the three of us again…plus Kelso," Fez says as he, Steven and Michael join him down here.

I glance around confused. Fez is playing with the record player, Steven sits in his seat, and Michael in the lawn chair.

"Wait, where are Eric and Donna?"

"Ah, well, now they both must suffer from their acts of true love," Fez says longingly.

"What?" I ask, more confused.

"Bob came over, took Donna. Forman's with his parents," Steven deadpans. Then he gets up and changes the channel before sitting back down.

"I was watching that," I complain.

"No, you weren't," Steven glances at me so fast I almost don't catch his bemused smile.

"Can we watch Gilligan's Island?" Fez walks over and sits on the top of the couch, closest to Michael.

Michael. He was here, but I had already kind of forgotten that. Over the past two months, Steven, Fez and I had created our own little circle, and well, Michael wasn't a part of that. Which, would probably explain why he was just sitting there silently, smiling idiotically.

"Not Gilligan's," I groan.

"You have any better suggestions?" Fez asks me.

"I don't know. Whatever was on before Steven changed it," I gesture to the TV.

"Oh, please. You don't even know what was on," Steven gives me a dirty look.

"Well, I know it was better than this. And Gilligan's," I refute, but I have to fight with every ounce of my being not to smile, because it was true, I had no idea what I had put the TV on.

And suddenly I regretted all that waiting for the California crew. While yes, I had missed Donna, I had forgotten what fun just Steven and Fez could be, and the others didn't even matter.

o-o-o

Eric and Donna must've temporarily gotten off the hook, because about an hour later they were down in the basement with us. It was pretty cool, having everyone back together down here, but for them, it was like we weren't even there. Which made it really uncomfortable for me, since I happened to be sitting on the other side of the couch.

Fez, on the other hand, couldn't get enough. "Oh, not this again," he says as Eric and Donna begin to kiss. "It gives me needs."

"Fine, we'll be upstairs," Eric says, and he and Donna get up off the couch.

"Too late," Fez says and he rushes out the door.

"Man, why are we watching this? It's stupid," Steven says once its just me, him and Michael.

"You're stupid," I tease him.

"Man, I've been gone all summer," Michael stands up. "And I get back and everything's just the same. I guess that nothing ever changes around here," he shrugs and then leaves as well.

As soon as he's out the door, Steven springs off his chair and leans over me to kiss me. I kiss him back, hungrily, but after a moment I have to pull away because I begin to laugh.

"What?" Steven asks, clearly annoyed. He sits back.

"I'm sorry," I say between breaths. "It's just…Michael said nothing ever changes around here." I double over I begin to laugh so hard.

"Huh, yeah. I guess that's pretty funny," Steven says. "Man, he really is an idiot."

For some reason this makes me laugh even harder. I feel tears form at the corner of my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away. My laughter fades. I look at Steven's face, and he's looking at me with a slightly amused and confused expression which sends me into a fit of laughter again. I lean against his shoulder, silently chuckling. After a few moments, my laughter dies out, but I don't move my head from his shoulder.

"You through laughing?" Steven asks.

"Yeah, I think so," I sigh. I almost make another joke, but then my heart momentarily stops when I feel Steven wrap his arm around my waist and just leave it there. And I am once again shocked how the smallest things he does can fill me with complete, overwhelming joy.

"You know. This sucks. I wish we could just stay here. Before, we only had Fez to worry about. Now the rest of our friends too," I sigh.

Steven doesn't respond, but I know he feels the same. And its not about being ashamed. Its about being happy with how things were, and not wanting or needing criticism and judgment from our friends. We didn't want what we had to be tarnished by their claims, and I knew they would immediately disapprove if they ever found out. That made me sad, but it was how things were.

"We can sneak out later," Steven finally says.

But right now neither of us move. No one is here to judge, and we're comfortable. For now, we're alone.

o-o-o

"Dad," I say as I walk into the house that night. I'm trying to keep in mind what Kitty told me, but I end up having a lot of trouble with that when, for the second night in a row that I am grounded, I come home late and find my father in his room with his light off and his door closed. I mean, honestly. I hadn't seen him all day today, and didn't see him at all yesterday, and we were living in the same house.

"Dad," I knock loudly on his door, hoping to wake him, and a moment later I see a light pour through the crack at the bottom of the door. And then the door opens.

He looks half asleep, yet alert, as though he is worried if I am okay. Well, at least that was something. "Jackie…" his voice drifts, off, confused, when he sees that I am perfectly fine.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been giving you a chance to be a father. But I am not going to accept being punished for something I didn't even know was wrong because you were never around to teach me that it was. So unless you hire a squad of guards to forcefully keep me in the house, I will not accept your grounding," I say. I had prepared this speech and was on a roll.

"But I do want you to be a father, so I promise you I won't resist when you do something fatherly, at least not for everything. I'll even make the first gesture. I will be home for dinner tomorrow."

My father doesn't say anything for a long moment, as though he is taking in everything I just said. I watch him as he thinks. He rubs his moustache in the way he does when he is thinking about work, which annoys me because I am his daughter not his job. But at the same time, seeing him sleepy and in his flannel pajamas…he really looks like a dad. So I would be willing to try this if he put in just as much effort.

"Fine. Jackie. But I am setting some ground rules right now. You come home for dinner every night. And if you go back to your friend's house again afterwards I expect a phone call to tell me where you are. And you are to be home by eleven o'clock," he says in a stern voice, not entirely father-like, but it's a start.

I am literally about to protest, but instead I bite my tongue. "Okay," I say stiffly. "One more thing," I add, having an idea. "I will ask you this instead of just doing it, but can I have a friend over tomorrow?"

He looks taken aback. "Well… I, mean…yes, of course. You mean, for dinner?"

"I don't know," I shrug nonchalantly. "Just to hang out really."

He just nods. We stand there awkwardly for a moment. "Well…um, good night then. Dad."

"Good night, Jackie," he nods curtly again. Then I take a step back and turn and head back to my room.

I smile to myself. Things would turn out okay. They had to. First with my dad. I couldn't say the same for my mother, but I was okay with that. And, I realized, all our friends were back together, and things hadn't gone back to the way they used to be, and I didn't think they would. That more than anything made me feel okay again.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – Hyde has done this once before in the show. It popped in my mind when writing this scene, so I decided to make him do it again.


	17. Our Better Selves

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! :) This week I am only posting one chapter, chapter 17, for two reasons: For one, its a lot longer than all the rest of the chapters. And two: there is only one more chapter after this one, and I'm not ready for this to end! But for now, enjoy. Thanks to all my readers!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"So I have somewhere we can sneak out to, away from our friends, if you're up for it," I tell Steven the next day when we are down in the basement by ourselves.

"What do you mean if I'm up for it?" he asks.

I roll my eyes at him. "You know exactly what I mean. And in case you were wondering…its my house."

Steven just looks at me with a blank stare. I sigh and shift the skirt of my dress so that I can face him. "This is the part you're not going to like. I was hoping you'd come to my house for dinner too. See, my dad is making me come home for dinner every night now, and it's going to be really difficult, so I was hoping if you came, it wouldn't be so bad," I admit.

"Yeah, okay. I can tell Mrs. Forman I have to go to work or something," Steven nods his head. Then he leans forward to kiss me, but I lean back.

"Wait just one minute," I say suspiciously. "I expected more of a protest. What's up?"

"Jackie," he says annoyed. "Really?"

"Yes! Really." I wave one hand dismissively. "I thought that you would have thought coming to my house for dinner was too…sentimental, something a boy – "

"Don't push it," he says warningly.

"I won't. I just…Steven, are you my boyfriend?" I decide to ask him bluntly.

"See, now you're pushing it," he says, and I can hear in his voice that he is getting aggravated.

Now I give him a look. Then I cross my arms.

"Okay, look. I agreed because I don't want you to have to deal with your father alone. I know what asshole parents are like. Okay?" Steven seems to be holding his breath.

I heard what he said, and it was very sweet. But my mind was more primarily focused on the fact that he didn't answer my boyfriend question. And if he _wasn't_ my boyfriend he would have made that very clear as soon as I asked him. But he didn't answer. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either.

"Yeah. Okay," I nod. Then I pull him toward me and kiss him fiercely. He responds in kind, leaning on top of me. He keeps his hands on the sides of the couch, but the moment remains intimate when our mouths part against each other's and our tongues meet.

The light shines pink through my eyelids, and his skin is a blazing fire beneath my fingertips. He is a fire. But not the kind that rages and kills in a violent explosion, but just the opposite. The kind that warms and gives life, and may be your only source of light in a world shrouded in darkness.

o-o-o

So, the 'talks' must've been over for Eric and Donna. Because here they came, with Michael in tow, complaining about how he lost his slingshot. Steven had turned on the TV just in time however, and we both relaxed before they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Michael however, decides to sit next to me. I suppress an eye roll.

"What were you guys doing?" Eric asks. Crap.

"Huh? Oh, we're just watching…uh, this old lady is eating a fish," Steven points to the TV, ever detached.

"Look, Jackie," Michael decides to take the opportunity to speak, and I instinctively lean away from him. "We've been avoiding each other. I think its time we hash this thing out," he waves the lollipop he's been holding in the air.

I look him straight in the eyes. "It's okay. I'm good," I say beseechingly. Then I smile and focus back on the TV.

But the idiot keeps talking, making a complete fool out of himself. "I can see you're devastated over losing me."

It takes every ounce of my being not to laugh in his face. I glance over at Steven and he just drums his fingers impatiently.

"You know what Michael, I'm fine," I say earnestly and I pat him on the knee. "Really," I drive home the point.

Unbelievable. He continues. "You sound brave," he says ignorantly. "But inside you're a scrambled mess." I look at him, unable to fathom his senselessness. "Just remember this," he wouldn't stop waving around that damn lollipop. "I'll always be there for ya if you have any physical needs, huh?" Then he decides to wrap his arm around my shoulder.

I roll my eyes and focus on the TV. That old lady was still eating.

Just then, Steven leans in and punches Michael in the arm. He was always doing this, but I've never seen him do it quite so forcefully. At least it got Michael's arm off of me.

"Damn Hyde. What was that for?" Michael asks, somewhat dazed.

"I just missed you, man," Steven smiles and shrugs, having recovered from his brief moment of rage.

I decide that it would probably be a good idea to change topics now. I remember what they were talking about when they came down here.

"Wait, Donna. You're actually going to go to a Catholic school?" I lean over so I can see her where she is standing next to Eric.

"Not just Catholic school," she glances between all of us. Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow." She nods. "That means sad forever." She looks at her boyfriend. "Eric we're never going to see each other."

"Yeah. I know. And I can't even drive you to school. And we can forget about any lunch time hokey-pokey," he says. "That's what it's all about," he adds, which makes Donna laugh.

"Man, it sucks not having a car," Steven tells Eric as he stands. "Well, I'm going to go drive mine," he pats his friend on the shoulder. "Catch you guys later."

Wait. Was this him hinting that we should go to my house now? How could I ask him without letting everyone know?

"Wait. Wait. Steven where are you going?" Ugh. That was bad.

"Why do you care?" Steven makes a face as he opens the door.

"I don't," I say fast. Maybe too fast.

I end up coming up with some lame-ass excuse about a 'Monday Madness' sale at the mall which Donna makes worse by reminding me that it's Tuesday. I blow her off, grabbing my purse from off the record player by the door, and rush out the door, acting like I'm some crazed shopper.

I climb into my Lincoln, and find Steven in his El Camino, idling at the curb at the end of the road. He pulls out behind me and follows me closely. His headlights shine in my rearview mirror, a constant reminder that he is here. And that I am not alone.

Going to my house for some privacy turned out to be a great idea. My dad wasn't at home, and today was the maid's day off, which left Steven and me to ourselves and without having to worry about interruption.

And, with the complete privacy, my last few hours with Steven had been pretty intimate, both physically and emotionally, at least for me. For most of the time we had hung out; we had a snack, worked on my car, watched TV. But when we eventually settled on the couch in the living room and just made out, it was intense, but in a beautiful way. I finally let him get to second base, and despite the moment being heated and sensual, Steven was incredibly respectful of my body and never pushed me for anything. And again, I thought about that one simple and powerful word, but to admit it yet would send us both over the edge from its sheer force.

We get no further than that, however, but its enough. And, eventually, the telephone rings.

"Crap," I mutter, and Steven pulls away from me. I pull my top back down and rush to answer the phone. "Hello?" I answer.

"Jackie, so you are home," Donna's voice comes through the speaker. "Do you mind if I come over? We haven't gotten to hang out all summer."

I turn around to face Steven when I say my next words. "Sure Donna. You can come over," I tell her.

"Great. See you in a few," she says cheerily.

"Yeah, see you in a few," I say, and wave my free arm at Steven to get up. Hearing my words to Donna, he jumps up, grabs his car keys off the coffee table and rushes over to me. He kisses me on my forehead and I give him a hug as I say good-bye to Donna on the phone.

Then I follow him outside. "Sorry about that, Donna wants to come over. And if I said no she would have asked why," I say as he jumps into his car.

"It's fine," he says quickly. "I can go put in a few hours at the Foto Hut now that Leo is back. What time should I come back for dinner?"

"Wait, you still want to come?" I ask.

Steven's look is a mixture of impatience and incredulity. "Jackie."

"Okay. Okay. Six o'clock should be good," I can't conceal my grin. He shakes his head at my silliness, and then peels off onto the road.

Donna arrives not even ten minutes later, and I give her a big hug as soon as she walks in. "Hey," she says.

I step back and appraise her. She was wearing a bright blue plaid button down, not the most girly outfit in the world, but her new haircut gives her a more feminine touch. She must've gotten it cut over the summer, and it looks good. It has volume, and is layered so it frames her face nicely.

"You look good Donna," I tell her as we head up the stairs to my room.

"Thanks Jackie. So, what've you been up to this summer?" she asks and sits down on my bed.

I stand near my desk and think about what I can tell her. "I haven't done very much," I say slowly. "But I have made a lot of changes to myself. You know?"

Donna shrugs. "Like what?"

"Well," I try again to think what I can tell her. "I'm done with Michael. I gave him a second chance, and he blew it, so I know he's not worth it." Then I walk over to wear I kept a box in the corner of my room.

"Okay. This is my Michael box," I grab it and sit next to Donna on my bed. "I saved everything that loser ever gave to me."

I open the top and look disapprovingly at the contents. I hold up a rubber chicken for Donna to see. "One year anniversary."

Donna can't help but laugh and I fold the stupid thing and toss it in the trash. "What a moron!" I add.

I grab more things from the box and toss them in the trash. Donna rifles through some of the stuff as well. "Wow, you know I guess Kelso's really history for you." She picks up some toy and looks at it. "I never thought that'd happen until you met someone else." She pauses and I continue to silently throw the things in the trash. "You met someone else," she says knowingly.

I freeze. I can't make eye contact with her. Finally I look up. "What? Someone else? That's crazy!" But even I can tell my voice is pitched too high. "You're crazy…Shut your pie hole." Why couldn't I have said something more rational?

Donna gives me a look like she doesn't believe a word I said. She tosses the toy she'd been holding back into the box. "Jackie. You have a new boyfriend. I can see it on your face."

"No. No," I shake my head vigorously. "I do not." But I was dying to tell her.

"Fine. Don't tell me. But I'll find out who he is eventually," Donna smiles again. "You can't hide him forever."

o-o-o

Steven got here before my dad did. However, Lena had arrived shortly after Donna had left, telling me that my father had agreed to give her a hefty paycheck if she would cook dinner for tonight.

As if that wasn't surprising enough, my jaw dropped to the floor when I opened the door for Steven at six o'clock – or actually five forty-nine; he was early – because, he had changed clothes. And if that wasn't enough sentimentality, he had changed into some of his best clothes. He wore a pair of his nicest jeans, a dark pair that went well with his button down shirt. I couldn't believe it. A button down.

I hadn't even told him to dress up.

I cover my mouth with my hand, trying not to squeal, although I can't conceal my smile. I'm grinning from ear to ear.

"Don't," he points at me as he steps inside.

"I'm not doing anything!" I refute, and I lead him off into the kitchen.

"Lena," I say to the maid. Her back is to us, and she is pouring something into a pot on the stove.

She turns around, wiping her hands on the apron she is wearing. "Yes, Jackie?" she says, and her gaze switches quickly over to Steven.

"Lena, this is my friend Steven Hyde," I point to him. I decided a while ago not to refer to Steven as my boyfriend in fear of scaring him off. "Steven, this is our maid, Lena Parks. She makes some of the best food. Even better than Mrs. Forman."

"You're in for a treat tonight, Mr. Hyde," Lena nods her head in our direction.

"Thanks, Lena," I grab Steven by the arm and direct him toward the living room. After a moment however, I turn back into the kitchen, figuring I would ask her. "Do you know when my dad will be home?" I ask her.

Lena's dark gray eyes widen. "In about half an hour," she gives me a kind smile. "I've never heard you call him Dad before. Always Father."

I smile slightly, before heading back toward the living room, somewhat unsettled. Had I always called him Father instead of Dad? Maybe I had a tendency to call him Father, but I realized that I had been saying Dad a lot more recently.

"Okay, my dad should be home in about half an hour and then we can eat," I turn on the television and relax next to Steven on the couch.

When my dad walks in the door, he looks incredibly excited to see me. His expression changes – only slightly – when he sees that the 'friend' I was bringing for dinner was a boy.

"Hello, uh…" my dad says when he walks into the room.

I stand up off the couch and Steven follows my lead. "Hey dad," I try to say casually. "This my friend Steven."

"Nice to meet you Steven," my father reaches out a hand to shake Steven's.

"Mr. Burkhart," Steven nods and extends his hand towards my dad's.

"Lena said dinner should be ready about now," I struggle for something to say. "So…shall we go eat?"

Both Steven and my father nod and we move toward the dining room, Steven and I leading the way. I stay back however, with my father so I can talk to him without Steven hearing.

"Dad, don't worry. He's not my boyfriend. He's just…" I'm at a loss for words. "He's just a friend. Like I had told you. So please don't give him the third degree. And anyways, he's nothing like Michael."

My dad nods, but, I find that during dinner, he does exactly that. Or well, almost. He asks him a lot of questions, but they are mostly just to learn more about him. They're not the setup kind of questions that the Burkhart's were famous for.

"So, you're the boy who lives with the Forman family, right?" my father asks Steven after all small talk has ceased.

"Yes, sir. The family was kind enough to take me in after, uh, well, after both my parents left," Steven says, although rather uncomfortably.

I want desperately help him and tell my dad what a great son he was to the Forman's but I decide against it for two reasons. For one, I could tell my dad was just being curious, not judgmental, and two, I don't think Steven would appreciate my help, to be honest.

So instead I decide to just give facts about how I know Steven. "Yeah, dad. Since I would always be spending time at the Forman house because of Donna and Michael, I've known Steven for…at least ten years?" I look to Steven for confirmation.

"Something like that," he agrees mildly.

"Anyways," I continue. "Since both Donna and Michael were gone this summer, it gave me the opportunity to get to know the rest of my friends better. And you've already met Donna, so I decided to ask a different friend to dinner." I'm trying to subtly throw my dad off track about my real relationship with Steven by giving him details about this summer.

This also seems to help Steven relax; my giving a reason to convince my dad that he really just was a friend here for dinner.

The rest of the dinner passes pleasantly, especially when the three of us end up talking about cars.

"Yeah, I've got a Camino, but I'd die for a Camaro," Steven goes on to describe his car to my dad. "And although I'd love a Camaro, I really am just lucky to have a car," he concludes.

"Yeah, I wish Jackie would feel that way about her car," my dad has since loosened both his tie and his attitude toward Steven. "You think she would've been grateful when I gave her the Lincoln as her own. But no," he shakes his head.

Steven looks at me surprised. "I thought you loved your car."

I shrug. "I would kind of like a Mustang," I lean back in my seat. "What can I say? I'm a snobby rich girl."

Steven can't help a bemused chuckle. "I forgot you wanted a Mustang." At first I don't know what he means, but then I remember how I had chatted to everyone about my day with Red when they had career day. So, Steven remembered that too, not just my hiding under Red's car.

After dinner, Lena serves us some fancy chocolate mousse. When that is finished I walk Steven outside to his car, wanting a moment alone with him.

"Hey, so thanks for coming," I cross my arms. "I know my dad isn't the easiest person to like."

"He's not bad once he loosens up," Steven shrugs. "Plus it was worth it for that food. Do you always eat like that?"

Now it's my turn to shrug. "When I eat at home, yeah."

Steven shakes his head and looks me up and down. "It's a wonder you're so thin."

"Hey!" I slap his arm playfully and he holds up his arms in defense

"Okay. Okay. Sorry," he laughs. "Are you coming back to Forman's?" he asks suddenly.

"I better not," I frown. "My dad wants me to spend more time with him, so…" I rock back and forth on my heels. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. Okay," then he instinctively leans forward to kiss me. And I know its his instinct because if he had thought about it, he wouldn't have done it because he had to know my dad was probably watching us.

But, it was too late now, so I just go with it. I cup my hand behind his head. "Good night," I say when its over. "And you better hope my dad didn't see that."

"Yeah, I thought about that too late," he flashes me a devilish grin. "Good night."

When I get back inside, my dad is standing shamelessly next to the window.

"Not your boyfriend?" He peers at me over his glasses.

"Dad," I say warningly, shutting the door. "Please don't."

"Then tell me the truth Jackie Beulah," he uses my middle name. I grimace.

"Fine. The truth is…I don't know if he's my boyfriend. I want him to be, anyways. But yes," I concede. "He is more than a friend."

A smile slowly spreads across his face.

"What?" I ask, annoyed. "What is it?"

"You two are cute together," he says.

"Okay, that was _so_ not a dad thing to say," I laugh and walk away toward the living room.

He follows me. "Plus, I like him a lot better than Michael Kelso. He just seems like…" he drifts off.

"A better person," I finish for him. "Exactly. He is. But I don't know if he wants a girlfriend."

"Oh, please. Of course he does," my dad says.

"Dad, you're a riot," I sigh.

"That's my job," he squeezes my shoulder. "We'll be okay, right kiddo?" he says more seriously.

He doesn't say it out loud, but I know he's not just referring to our newly mended relationship. I can hear it in his voice that he's worried about whatever trouble he has going on at work. And I don't think its fair for him to put it on me to tell him that it's all going to be okay, but I realize he really has no one else.

"We have to be okay," I say eventually. "What other option do we have?"

o-o-o

I ease my bedroom door shut later that evening before running over to my bed and picking up the telephone. Hopefully my dad didn't need the phone for his work, but I dial the Forman's number anyway.

The phone rings a few times before Kitty answers the phone. "Hello?" she says.

"Oh, Mrs. Forman. Thank God it was you who answered. If it were anyone else, I would've had to play it coy and like, ask if Donna were there, but since it's you – "

"Jackie?" Kitty's voice cracks through the speaker.

"Oh, no. You said my name aloud. Where are you? Are you in your kitchen? Is anyone else in there with you?" I must sound like a crazy person.

"Hmm, let me guess…you want to talk to Steven?" Kitty asks, and I detect a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I really hope no one is overhearing this. Okay, um…well, can you tell him that Leo's on the line. I just wanted to talk to him for one quick second," I say nervously.

Kitty calls for Steven before speaking to me again. "And don't worry Jackie. Eric's over at Donna's right now."

"Thank you Mrs. Forman," I sigh and fall backwards on my bed. I hadn't realized but I'd been biting my nails, worrying about blowing our cover.

"Hello?" I hear Steven's voice a moment later.

"Hey, it's me," I pause, wondering what to say. I had called for a reason. I guess I could just say it. "You um, left your jacket here. Do you want me to bring it back tomorrow or would you rather just come pick it up so, well, you know…nobody wonders why I'm carrying your jacket?" I laugh halfheartedly.

"I did? Sorry about that. Uh, no you can just bring it. If any one sees you, just say…I don't care. Whatever," I can practically see him shrug over the phone line.

"Okay. See you tomorrow then. Good night," I tell him.

"No. Wait. I wanted to ask you something," Steven says quickly.

"Huh?" I say, curious.

"Your housekeeper, Lena, who cooked tonight. Is she the one with the film?" Steven asks inquiringly.

"Wait…what are you talking about?" I'm very confused all of a sudden.

"Last year. You know, when you had that phase when you were obsessed with me," he sounds very uncomfortable.

For another moment I am still lost, but then I realize exactly what he was talking about. "Oh, when I bought some marijuana to try to impress you?" I laugh.

"Yeah. And you ended up just getting me busted instead," Steven mutters.

"Um, I don't think so," I say cogently. "You volunteered yourself. So I wouldn't go to prison," I say sweetly.

"Okay, let's not get into details," he waves me off, but I can hear the smile in his voice. "So. Was she was the one?"

"Yes," I admit in defeat. "Why?" I ask him, but I am still laughing.

I can hear the laughter in his voice. "She's a badass," he states simply.

And that's how I ended up talking on the phone with Steven Hyde for the next hour.

o-o-o

"Where is everyone?" I whisper the next day when I arrive at the Forman's basement and am pleasantly surprised when I see that the only one down here is Steven, sitting in his chair watching TV.

"Fez and Kelso aren't here. Forman and Donna are trying to make Bob rethink the Catholic school thing," Steven explains.

"That's great," I sit on the couch and toss him his jacket. "Here," I tell him. "Crisis averted. Oh, and Lena asked about you later last night too you know. She asked if you were the one I bought her stash for," I laugh at myself. "You know. I never apologized, or thanked you for what you did," I tell him. "So…yeah. Thank you," I say earnestly.

"Yeah, well your little obsession with me got me a lot more hell than just being arrested," Steven says and begins to tick off things on his fingers. "I almost got kicked out of here, then Red grounded me and Forman, so I almost lost my job, and then he didn't allow any of our friends to come over.1"

I give him a look. "Well, I stop at nothing to get what I want," I stand up and walk over to sit on his lap. "And hey, I got what I wanted. You," I cup his face. I smile and slowly lean in to kiss him.

Steven wraps his arms around my waist. I spin on his lap so I am facing him and press my body close to his. I wind my fingers tightly through his curls and gently bite his bottom lip, causing him to moan, and I feel his soft breath against my cheek.

Next thing I know we are making out on the couch. I hook one of my legs behind Steven's knee bringing him closer to myself. He comes willingly. And its so forbidden and feverish.

And I hear the door crack open and I get the same sinking feeling I had when I heard the kitchen door swing open when Kitty found us in her kitchen. Only this time its worse because its Eric and Donna who walk in on us making out.

Donna's words from yesterday echo in my mind. _I'll find out who he is eventually. You can't hide him forever._

"What the Hell?" Donna's face contorts into a mask of pure horror.

"Oh my God," I say instinctively. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that I'm still holding on to Steven, and he to me.

"I'm blind," Eric squirms.

"Jackie!" Donna says my name like I just stole candy from a little kid.

Crap. "Get off me!" I push Steven away from me, not sure what to do.

And Steven, being a complete idiot, finally says something. "Nice outfit," he says to Donna.

I give him a look. Really? He couldn't've said anything else?

Donna sighs, fed up. Then she focuses her attention back on the two of us. She glances back and forth between the two of us, as though she can't quite believe what she's seeing.

"Okay, so um…" I turn around on the couch so I am facing forward…and away from Steven. "What exactly did you see?" I wasn't sure where I would go with this.

"Hands…tongues…yours…his. It was horrible," Eric says distressed as he walks and stands behind the couch.

Donna takes a step forward. "You were like Siamese twins joined at the beard."

I sneak a glance at Steven to see how he is taking this but his face is impassive. I can feel their two sets of eyes beating down on us. I feel like a caged animal.

"Hey. This is her fault man. She threw herself at me," Steven rises up off the couch and joins Eric behind the couch.

I have to keep myself from laughing. "No, no. You were on top of me," I argue back at him.

"You pulled me," Steven refutes. He glances back and forth between Eric and Donna. "I've done a lot of partying," he tries to come up with an excuse. "So you know, my balance is off." Unbelievable.

"This is impossible," Eric seems to have recovered; no longer acting like an old lady whose grocery cart has been stolen at the Piggly-Wiggly. "You two hate each other."

"Kelso is gonna freak," Donna says randomly.

Eric takes a large intake of breath. "Kelso…" he looks at Steven.

I roll my eyes. I didn't care what Michael thought. Plus, it was really none of his business, but I had a feeling Eric and Donna would make it _their _business to tell him.

"Settle down, Esmerelda," Steven waves off Eric. "Kelso doesn't need to know about this," he says as he sits in his chair.

I smile to myself. At least he wasn't denying 'this' anymore.

"Yeah look. Its just a meaningless fling," I lie through my teeth, hating the words that come out of my mouth. "Okay. We can stop whenever we want," I look at Steven to see how he reacts. Again, nothing.

"Well, then maybe you should," Eric says.

That pisses me off. Maybe he didn't like the idea of me and Steven but that did NOT give him any right to dictate whether or not we stayed together. "Well why do you even care?" I sneer at him.

"Because you're breaking up the band, Yoko," Eric says, getting distressed again.

This time I try not to laugh again, but am unsuccessful. This was getting ridiculous. This was _exactly_ why we didn't want anyone to find out. And then just to top it all off, Fez shows up in the basement. I wanted to cry. I mean, _come on_.

"Well, well, well, naughty ladies wear plaid," Fez says, and I think Donna could punch him.

"Fez, please," Donna holds up her hand. Fez makes another comment, which then, of course, prompts Donna to tell him about me and Steven. I don't know why she thought she had the right. "Fez. We just caught these two frenching, like a couple of French people at a Frenching Festival."

"What? That's impossible. You two hate each other," Fez waves his arm back and forth between me and Steven.

I cross my arms. This was getting real old real fast. I didn't hate Steven. He annoyed me, but I never hated him. And I knew he never hated me either.

"I said…I just said that," Eric continues his temper tantrum.

"Okay, you are going to tell us how this happened right now," Donna points at Steven.

He makes another comment about her uniform, so I speak up. "Okay, look. Fine. I'll just tell you what happened. It was a few weeks after Donna and Michael left," I start.

And I know that there was no way in a million years that I would tell Donna, Eric and Fez what really happened. They had no right to know, and honestly, I would never tell anyone. It was too personal. So I launch into some ridiculous, far-fetched story, hoping that'll get the message across to them to back off. It involves Steven wanting to listen to ABBA. In fact, its so ridiculous that Steven even interrupts me. I yell at him that its my story and then continue. Unfortunately, they don't get the hint, and they all laugh at my story instead.

Eric then convinces Hyde to give his side of the story. He gives me a hard look before starting, and I shrug. "So I'm hanging out in the basement like I usually do, when Jackie showed up. It was obvious she wanted me," and he continues to tell his own farfetched story about how I threw myself at him.

"God, that's crazy," I say to him when he's done. This was so frustrating. "No, no. You so came on to me first."

Donna speaks again, which frustrates me further. This really involved no one but Steven and I. It was not their business. Did they not get that?

"You know, you said that you didn't have a new boyfriend," Donna says accusingly.

"He is not my boyfriend!" I say desperately, now dying for this conversation to be over.

"I'm not her boyfriend," Steven slams his arm on the couch. Then he looks at me and I can tell that we are on the same side again. "They just don't get it," he says to me, defeated.

"No. Why would they?" I say to accusingly. "Let's go baby," I say, standing up. Steven follows. "God, they're annoying," I say as soon as Steven shuts the door on our way out.

"Yeah. I know. They're exactly why we kept this under wraps," Steven shakes his head.

"I'm sorry," I say, and when we reach the top of the stairs I turn to face him. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Jackie, what the hell are you apologizing for?" Steven holds out his hands, face up.

"I…I don't know," I admit.

"You've really got to stop apologizing to me for everything," he continues.

I look down at my feet. "I'm sorry – I mean, never mind. It's just, in there…you said it was my fault." God. I hated sounding so pathetic.

"Come on, Jackie. That was just for show. You should know better than that," Steven brushes past me and walks into the driveway.

I was so happy he said that. "Okay. Just making sure," I nod and skip after him. "But…just to make things extra clear…you were the one who came on to me first," I pass in front of him and turn to face him.

"Um, no," he crosses his arms. "What about last year when you were all over me?"

"Oh, please," I wave one hand dismissively. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but _you_ were the one to ask _me _on a date."

"Because you were pestering me," he's getting worked up. I try not to laugh at his obvious show of discomfort.

"And anyways," I shrug. "That was last year. I've been with and broken up with Michael since then. I'm talking this summer. And you came on to me first," I say again, more smug than the first time.

"No," he says defiantly. "Are we going to your house?"

I narrow my eyes at him and take a step closer to him "Just admit it."

"No way kitten," he says in a sugary voice. Then he leans in and gives me a quick kiss. "Now. Let's go," he drops the act.

"At least I know the truth," I say, mostly just to get to him.

"Jackie," he warns.

I get into my car and turn the ignition. He doesn't say anything more once he gets in the car. Instead he turns to look out the window for the entire drive. I am reminded of the time when Steven drove me home that first day of summer when everything changed. And things had changed even more with that.

Because when Steven drove me home I had sat as close to the door as possible, away from him, and in complete awkwardness. And now, we sat together in comfortable silence, Steven's hand on my knee.

When I reach a stop light, I take one of my hands and entwine it in his. Steven doesn't say anything, he just lets me play with his fingers.

So how could this be a fling? I realize that despite Steven's words, all of his actions prove that he cares about me and was happy to be with me like I was with him. He had come a long way. He letting me just hold his hand and entwine my fingers between his. I smile at the memory of when I found him in the Hub after he got out of prison for taking the blame for me. I had fought him just to hold his hand.

And for now, I hold his hand and drive.

o-o-o

"I can't believe school starts tomorrow," I frown and join Steven on the couch in the living room. I hand him a soda.

"That's tomorrow?" Steven asks.

"Yeah," I nod. "I'm surprised Mrs. Forman hasn't been on your case. And Eric's, for that matter. Plus you should be excited," I turn to face him excitedly on the couch. You're going to be a senior. Oh!" I make a realization, but have to stop myself short. I almost said that I was the girlfriend of the senior.

"Yeah, a senior," Steven mutters. "If it is anything like last year I might as well go to hell now."

"Oh, is junior year really that bad?" I make a face, suddenly nervous about school.

"Huh? Oh, no. Sorry, I didn't mean school," Steven grabs my hand subconsciously. He'd done that a lot since the car ride here. Maybe he didn't realize it, but I was aware of every place the skin on our hands touched.

"Then…what?" I ask, confused. Steven shrugs. "Please tell me," I say earnestly.

"Just a whole bunch of crap," he says. I don't say anything, which somehow prompts him to continue, which I was glad for. "I lost both my parents last year, Jackie," Steven looks at me. He says it as a fact, and in no way like a victim looking for sympathy.

"I know," I tell him, because I do. The same was happening to me, at least with my mom. "I hope you don't mind my asking. But whatever happened with Bud?"

Steven is quiet for a long moment. "He took off with Edna," he finally says, coldly.

I feel a shiver run down my spine, and with my free hand I cover my mouth. I look down at the floor. His parents ran away from him. Why would anyone's parents do that? It was such a horrible concept to think about. Especially with Steven. I knew that his mom never gave him enough credit and was always shaming him. She was part of the reason he acted the way he did. Because she made him believe that that was all he was. And with his dad; he took advantage of Steven.

"Well, it's their loss," I lift my head and kiss him on the cheek.

"Jackie," Steven complains, clearly shying away from my sentimentality.

So, I decide I'll be short with him. "Well, I'm glad he's gone. He was a terrible father to you. Mr. Forman is so much better."

"What?" Steven makes a face.

I look him square in the eyes. "Red saw you give him money before you moved in with him," I explain.

Something flashes in his eyes. And I know that he thought nobody knew about that. "How…" his voice fades. I see his jaw clench. Steven didn't like to talk, I knew. He much preferred bottling things up and snapping later. But this was good for him. And I was so happy to help.

"I ran into Mr. Forman later the night that you left to live with Bud," I refocus my story. "I was leaving Donna's house and ran into him outside. He was working on his car. He seemed really upset," I can tell this story is getting through to Steven because I feel his grasp on my hand tighten instinctively.

"I didn't ask him what was wrong, but I did ask him if he wanted me to hold a flashlight for him because it was so dark. And I'm telling you Steven, when he glanced up at me…he looked sick. And I don't know if it was my joke about the flashlight that reminded him of Career Day (2), but he told me what happened, and what he saw you do for Bud," I shrug. "Then I realized he looked so sick because he thought he let you down by letting you go with Bud."

"Jackie. Are you trying to make me feel bad?" Steven asks, raising his eyebrow and he pulls his hand away.

"Oh, no. No!" I cover my mouth. "Not at all. All I'm saying is that maybe you lost both your parents, but sometimes you have to let things go in order to let yourself find something even better."

Steven doesn't respond, so I continue. "So, what I meant was, Mr. and Mrs. Forman are your real parents. And I must say, you got a pretty nice deal."

"As opposed to what you got?" Steven glances at me, and then our surroundings. I feel a pang of hurt. "I'm kidding," he says softly. "You got dealt a bad hand of biological parents as well."

"Not the worst," I say quickly. "I mean, yeah there's my mom," I roll my eyes. "But my Dad is actually pretty awesome," I say and I mean it. "He likes you, by the way."

"Great," Steven deadpans.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask, remembering something.

Steven doesn't respond, just gives me a look. A worried look. "Nothing like that," I shoot daggers at him. I roll off the couch and motion for him to follow me.

"Okay, what do you know about politics?" I head towards my dad's office.

"That it's corrupt," Steven says instinctively, and the tone of his voice suggests that he is switching into his anti-government state of mind.

"Okay," I say again, slowly. "What about it makes it so corrupt?" I sit behind my dad's desk and un-abashedly begin to work through the papers on his desk. He wanted me to tell him everything was going to be okay. Well, now I needed to know if it really was okay.

"Money. Jackie, its all about money. Politicians don't care about doing what's best. They care about what is going to get them re-elected and what they can do to get more money. More power. Because money equals power. And power is the ultimate goal."

"So could money get a politician into trouble?" I ask him, only half focused on what he was saying. I was more focused on trying to find out what my dad was hiding. The things on his desk were generic files. Anything really important would probably be…

Bingo.

In his safe.

"Yes, many politicians can let the power get to their heads and end up doing more harm than good by using illicit money to get what they want, when it's not always what the people want."

I didn't know the code to his safe. But I needed to get in there.

"Hey, Jackie. What's this about?" Steven seems to have snapped out of his political fury.

"Nothing," It takes all my willpower to force my eyes away from the safe and back to Steven. "Just, you know. Curious about politics. My dad, you know, has to deal with all that, so now I have something I can talk to him about," I lie through my teeth.

I wanted to tell Steven the truth, I did. But I couldn't yet. I didn't know what trouble my dad was in, but I was pretty sure it had to do with money. And I knew I would find the answer in that safe. I just had to get in it first. Then I'd tell Steven what this was about.

But I could tell Steven knew I wasn't telling him something.

So I decide to quickly change the subject and get us out of my dad's office before he got any ideas. I lead us back into the living room and pretend to check the time on the clock. (3)

"Wow, what do you know? Its already four o'clock," I say, possibly with too much exaggeration.

"Jackie," Steven warns.

"You know what I just realized?" I ignore him and push forward this change in topic. "Tomorrow is going to be my first day as an upperclassmen. I have to go pick my outfit!"

"Jackie," Steven says again.

"No. No, Steven. All the underclassmen will be looking up to me now. I will be their role model. So I have to look perfect. So…I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay? At lunch. I have to start getting ready."

I lead him to the front door and kiss him good-bye.

"Jackie, what's your deal?" Steven asks for the hundredth time.

"I have to get ready!" I say in the perfect annoyingly-girly voice I can muster up.

"With your dad?" Steven ignores my act.

I don't tell him. But I don't say 'nothing' either. Because although that's the word on the tip of my tongue, I just don't have the energy to keep pretending anymore.

o-o-o

Donna called to see if she could come over that afternoon. Apparently she wanted some time to catch up with me since school was starting tomorrow, although I had my ideas about what she really wanted. And I wasn't too happy about it. Didn't she understand that my relationship with Steven was really none of her business? I mean, with Michael she had tried to stop me from going back to him – but she already knew about what my relationship with him had been like. She had no idea – none – what things were like with Steven. But she had already made up her mind. That more than anything made me mad.

"So I guess all the teachers are like, nuns, so they're probably going to be really strict. But I guess that's what happens when your sad forever," Donna is sitting on my bed.

I, on the other hand, am rifling through my clothes, looking for the perfect outfit for tomorrow. I had meant what I said before; I needed to make a good first impression on the underclassmen since I would be their role model this year. That, and, well, I kind of needed to restore my authority in the cheerleading squad since I had sort of lost touch with them over the summer.

Needless to say, Donna's nun problems were the least of my concerns.

"Uh-huh," I mutter.

I wanted to look pretty and sophisticated – the perfect combination for an upperclassman. I hold up a crimson red cardigan. This could work, but it needed something else.

"Okay, Jackie. Are you even listening?" Donna asks accusingly.

I glance over at her breezily. "Uh-huh. What do you think of this sweater?" I toss it at her.

"It's red," she says annoyed. "Okay. What's wrong with you?" she continues her accusatory tone.

"Nothing," I walk over to my bed, grab my sweater and walk back to the closet. I start rifling through my shirts. "I just need to find the perfect outfit for tomorrow."

"Is that it?" Donna says knowingly.

Uh, no. Duh. "Yep," I say instead, ever brusquely.

"Okay, well. I don't believe you," Donna stands up and sits at my desk instead. "You probably figured out that I came here with an agenda."

I turn to look at her, surprised. Was she really going to do this? My arms go limp at my sides and I give her a look of discontent.

"Okay, Jackie, I have a huge favor to ask you." Donna's tone changes from accusatory to slightly pleading.

I place my hands on my hips and squint my eyes at her. Favor? What favor could she ask that has to do with Steven? I mean, she already asked, or rather, demanded, that we 'stop.' What more did she want?

"Really Donna? What now?" I can't keep the ice out of my voice.

Donna looks taken aback. "Um, I was just going ask if you wouldn't mind driving me to my school tomorrow. Eric says he'll pick me up, I don't know how seeing as he doesn't have a car, but anyways…" her voice fades and I can't seem to process what she's asking. "Look, Jackie. Trust me, I don't like asking this of you, but its just for the first day. I'll figure out what bus to take tomorrow when I get there."

"Of course Donna!" I squeal, suddenly forgetting that I am angry with her. Donna, my lumberjack, redheaded friend that had it 'all figured out' was asking for my help. Mine. Instead of the other way around. I can't conceal my grin.

Donna can't seem but to smile, although somewhat tentatively, at my sudden outburst of enthusiasm. "Um, okay. Thanks," she laughs softly. Then a look of confusion crosses her face. "Wait. Why were you so mad at me then…when I said I had a favor to ask of you?"

My cheery expression is now lost as well. Maybe Donna wasn't here to grill me about Steven, and I sure wasn't going to remind her. So I attempt to write it off.

"Oh, its just I was mad that you're not going to be at Point Place High School anymore. I mean, who am I going to hang out with now?" I tease her.

Unfortunately, my distraction only brings her closer to the truth. "Oh, I don't know," she leans forward. "You can always hang out with Hyde."

I give her a warning look, while crossing my arms and turning away from her. I walk back and sit on my bed.

"That is none of your business, Donna," I decide to tell her flat out. "Honestly," I add, to drive home the point.

"I'm just trying to protect you Jackie. And Hyde," Donna acts all noble.

"No, you're not Donna. You're meddling," I say, fed up with this. "You haven't been here all summer. You have no idea what's going on," I stand up and point at her, accusingly.

"But Jackie…he's like, so not your type. And you're not his. There's no way this can end well," Donna stands up as well.

"Are you listening Donna?" I raise my voice slightly. "Because I'm going to tell you something that I really shouldn't." My voice drops back down to normal level, and even lower as I continue. "Steven talks to me. The boy who bottles everything up and pretends to have no emotion? That boy talks to _me_."

I don't say everything I wanted to say, because Donna speaks up again. "Whatever. It's still weird and unnatural," she shivers.

"Like I said," I grit my teeth. "It's really none of your business," I say as pleasantly as I can.

But I still don't say everything. I don't say that when Steven's with me, he's a different person, and when I'm with Steven, I'm a different person. We are our better selves, and to me, that was all that mattered.

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – Red didn't want any of Eric and Hyde's friends to come over, but they all do anyway. Donna with Eric, Kelso with Laurie, and Jackie and Fez downstairs with Hyde. Now, I know Jackie (and Fez) were put downstairs in the basement with Hyde by default (because obviously neither of them would've been upstairs in the bedrooms with the others), but I still get a small satisfaction in the fact that Jackie is in the basement with Hyde. Because this means, no matter how much trouble Hyde got in for her, he still didn't mind her hanging around with him. :)

2 – I feel like I talk about Career Day from season one a lot in my story, but I really think this episode allowed for some pretty deep character development for Jackie, Hyde and even Red. Not only that, but I think it allowed for some better understanding between Jackie and Hyde as two people. Jackie had to have overheard Hyde's conversation with Red, and Hyde had to have thought about what Jackie was doing fixing a car when that wasn't part of her 'square stereotype'. The show doesn't delve into that, but it is only human for this kind of development to occur.

3 – In my story, I will tell you that this is as far as Jackie gets into her investigation. I did not write about her getting into that safe, because I don't even know what's in there. Most importantly though, Jackie doesn't get in the safe because when her dad does finally go to jail for bribery, she's shocked and at a complete loss as to what to do. Hence, Jackie couldn't have really known about the bribery, so I couldn't let her get in the safe. I still wanted to allude to her father's arrest in the story though, which is why I included this scene, and sub-plot.


	18. We're All Alright (1)

Alright. This is it. The last chapter of The Renewal. Thank you everyone who has read, followed, or favorited my story. And especially thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a review, its means so so much to me. This is the first story I have ever published, and writing has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember, so thank you to everyone reading this because you have helped make this the most amazing experience.

I definitely plan to write more T7S fanfiction, and now that this story is completely published, I will have more time to work on the story of Hyde's perspective of that summer. So, without further ado, here is Chapter 18, the very last chapter, of The Renewal. Thank you and enjoy!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Donna?" I swing open the door to Eric's basement, winded. I'd just come from Donna's room to her backyard, to the Forman's front yard, to the Forman's kitchen, the Forman's driveway, and finally the basement.

"Jackie, what took you so long?" Donna stands up from where she was on the couch and evens out her skirt.

"Well, you didn't exactly tell me where I'd find you this morning," I cross my arms bitterly. "Now, let's go. I don't want to be late for my first day as an upperclassman."

"Wait, Jackie's taking you?" Eric says lamely from his spot on the couch. "I thought…I thought I was?"

"Yeah, but I decided to ask Jackie, you know, as a backup plan?" Donna shrugs.

"Oh, I'm your backup plan?" I sneer.

"Jackie," Donna says, a hint of a warning in her voice. Then she turns back to Eric. "I mean. You lost the Vista Cruiser. At least Jackie has a car."

"Ouch, Forman," Steven shakes his head from his chair. "That was like, an unintentional backup burn."

"By your girlfriend," I add, nodding at Eric, feeling smug. "Okay. Donna, we've really got to go," I grab her arm and practically drag her out of the basement.

"Oh man, this sucks," Donna whines as soon as we're on our way.

"Excuse me?" I ask, offended.

"No, not this. I meant this…situation. I can't believe I won't be able to spend my last year of high school with Eric. Next year comes college, and who knows what will happen then."

"I know," I nod my head. I didn't tell her, but I didn't like this situation either. Because when all my friends graduated this year, I'd be stuck there for another year while they all drifted away and apart.

Except now, it was happening a year early. At least with Donna.

"Okay, um, let's talk about something better," I ponder. "Ooh, okay. So last night, after you left I drove out to the mall so I could pick a top to go with the sweater I picked when you were at my house," I point to the sweater I was wearing. "And I found this shirt, the one I am currently wearing. And it was like, the greatest thing ever. It matches my sweater perfectly," I say, excited.

The shirt had a repeating stripe pattern, and one of the colors was the same burgundy red that was in my sweater.

"Isn't that awesome?" I smile.

"Fascinating," Donna rolls her eyes sarcastically.

"Oh, you're just jealous that you have to wear the same thing every day," I shrug off her sarcasm. "But I have to say, I'm glad to see you finally dressing like a girl, you know, with the skirt and everything. I mean, plaid, not really my thing, you know, it's the lumberjack look, but I must say – it's a step in the right direction."

Donna can't help but crack a smile now. "That never gets old."

"What?" I glance at her.

"The lumberjack thing," Donna shakes her head. "Jackie, I am not a lumberjack."

"Well, Donna, of course _I_ know that. But what about the rest of the world?" I explain.

"Well, fortunately for me," Donna plays along. "Everyone at this new school will be dressed in plaid, so I guess I won't have to worry about it, right?"

"Okay, but if you decide to ditch us for your new catholic school friends, just do us all a favor and don't wear one of your plaid shirts on your day off," I joke…somewhat.

"Nah, I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from wearing that," Donna shrugs. "Guess I'll have to stick with those of you who know me and my plaid."

"That sounds good to me," I smile at her.

Donna smiles too, but then it fades as she sees something out the window. I follow her gaze and see a giant sign with a golden cross hanging over it. OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL SORROW, the sign reads in embossed gold letters.

"Here you are," I pull into the parking lot. "I'll see you this afternoon, right?"

"I'll be the one in plaid," she nods.

"Donna you're such a dork," I shake my head.

"I know you are but what am I?" she laughs as she climbs out the passenger door. "See ya, dork," she shuts the door and waves as she walks toward her new school.

Another change. This one not so good either, I think as I drive back to my high school, worried about what I would do now without my best friend. But I needed to remind myself that I thought giving up on Michael was a sad change too. But something better came of it.

Not that I had any plans on replacing Donna. I actually believed it would strengthen our friendship. But I had to believe something good would come out of all this. It did once, so it had to again. I had to have faith in that one rule of the universe.

Because if I didn't, if nobody did, then what would we be living for?

o-o-o

"Did any of you have Mrs. Eldridge for English last year?" I drop my binder on the lunch table before sitting down.

Each table sat six people, which had always been perfect for me and my friends. This year would have an empty sixth seat, however.

Plus, it leaves me in a tiny situation. One of the seats was open between Eric and Steven. The other open seat was between Michael and Fez. But I just shrug and sit next to Steven, because, I mean, everyone already knew about us except for Michael, and he was too dumb to think anything of it anyway.

And if he did ask, well, I'd just tell him I didn't want to sit next to him.

"Yeah, Hyde and I had her last year," Eric shovels some unidentifiable cafeteria food in his mouth.

"That was her name?" Steven looks confused for a moment before shrugging.

"Yeah, well, she already assigned us a book and a paper we have to write on it. She's only giving us two weeks," I complain.

"What book?" Eric asks.

"Um," I finish setting up my lunch – made by Lena (there was no way that I would eat cafeteria food) – then retrieve the book from my purse. "Fahrenheit 451," I read the title and put it on the table.

"Oh, I remember that paper," Steven nods, picking up the book.

"Yeah, man, it was the only paper you did for that class," Eric told him.

"It was the only book worth reading," Steven fires back.

"Because it was the only book that you had already read?" Eric looks at him accusingly.

Steven shrugs. "Like I said, it's the only book worth reading from that class," he says. Then he hands me the book. "Here."

"Wait. You had already read this before you had to for school?" I ask, confused.

Eric laughs. "It's a book about government oppression. Of course Hyde has read it."

"Aw, I don't want to read a book about the government," I pout.

"That book's not about the government," Michael interjects. "It's just about a bunch of crazy dudes who burn books for a hobby."

"No, Kelso man, its about censorship in the day and age and the government's role in suppressing free-thought. Their typical means of doing this is through burning the books. It's not a hobby," Steven rants.

"And there he goes," Eric waves a hand dismissively at Steven. "Thanks for setting him off Kelso."

"Let me see that," Fez reaches across the table for my book. "Fahrenheit 451…what's so special about that temperature?" he frowns.

"It's the temperature that paper burns at," Steven says, more calmly this time.

"451?" Fez says incredulously. "Oh, you silly Amedican's should just convert to the Celsius scale."

"And now we lost Fez," Eric sighs.

"Fez, the Celsius scale was made for people who only know how to count to 100. Everybody knows that. Just like everybody knows that those guys just secretly enjoyed burning things," Michael rolls his eyes.

"And…there goes Kelso," Eric sighs once again as Kelso then is bombarded by both Fez and Steven for his idiotic comments.

I glance between our three nutcase friends and give off a sigh of my own. "I miss Donna," I mutter loud enough for only Eric to hear.

Eric glances surprisingly in my direction before he looks back at the arguing trio. After a moment, he nods. "Me too."

o-o-o

"Jackie, you're not going to pick up Donna?" Eric asks when I arrive in the basement later that afternoon after school.

"Oh, no. I asked Bob and he said he was going to go get her," I grab my book for English and plop down on the couch. "Anyways, that was like, an hour ago. She should probably be here soon."

I open the book to the first page, and immediately the guys start arguing about what to watch on TV. Unfortunately, no one seems to have any concern for the fact that I'm trying to do homework, but then again, I suppose you don't really go to the basement to study in the first place.

They eventually settle on Fantasy Island, although the episode is a re-run that's on constantly and is already halfway through. After a few moments it becomes clear that I really won't be getting any work done and grudgingly submit myself to watching TV. I'd just have to do my homework at home after dinner.

I do however, think to try reading again once the episode is over, but immediately Michael starts moronically sharing his opinion of the show.

"Here's what I don't get about Fantasy Island," he picks up a magazine from the table and starts waving it in the air. "You know when you get off the plane and you see Mr. Roarke and that kid in the white suit?"

Eric and Steven look like they could care less, but, next to me Fez nods eagerly.

"Well if it's me, I'm like," Michael stands up continuing his rant. "This is creepy right? So I just grab a free daiquiri and I'm outta there," He picks up a bottle of soda.

We all look at him, nobody sure of what to say. A moment later however, the basement door opens and we all turn in time to see Donna enter.

All the guys start clapping. Donna laughs, in defeat. "Grow up it's just a uniform," she says and pulls her hair out of its clip, causing the guys to clap and cheer even louder. I can't help but laugh at their amusement.

"Man that was totally worth waiting for," Michael practically drools as Donna gets settled in the lawn chair.

"I agree, now we can go," Fez follows Michael's line of thought before standing up.

The two of them are almost out the door when Eric asks Donna about her first day and she responds, "Grim. This nun totally spanked me with a ruler."

Behind her Michael and Fez turn back excitedly. "Yet another reason, I wish I was a ruler," Fez laments dreamily. Then he and Michael finally do leave.

And to my utter delight, to which I also must keep sealed, Steven is up and sitting next to me in a flash. I do my best not to smile.

"Wait a minute," Donna is standing up, just as quick.

"Weird," Eric follows, getting up of the couch a second later.

"Okay…now you guys are sitting together?" Donna says slowly, completely baffled.

Now I was pissed. Was she really still on this?

Apparently Eric too. "Oh my God. You guys aren't just fooling around. You care about her," he says to Steven.

"I do not," he protests. Then he exchanges a meaningful glance with me. "She sickens me," he says, a twinkle in his eyes.

I catch on to what he was doing. If they weren't going to get over it, we were going to have to play along with what they wanted.

"No, no," I refute. "I'm the one who's sickened, okay?" I rise up from the couch. "I'm not supposed to be seen with scruffy guys like you. I date guys I can take out in public," I do my best to put on a show. Then I sit in Steven's chair and flip my hair.

"Yet you continue with this abomination," Eric is starting to get twitchy. Again.

I ignore him, but Donna takes the opportunity to speak again. "You know, you guys have to tell Kelso."

"Or…we'll tell Kelso," Eric continues on Donna's idea.

Oh, I was ready to scream in their faces to just let it go. Where did they get the idea that they told us what we had to do?

"Shall we?" Eric leads Donna to the door.

I had to keep playing their game. "Wait, no no no, okay guys. What if we just break it off right now?" I force. "Then he never has to know."

"Really?" Donna crosses her arm.

"Look there's nothing to even break off so its fine by me," Steven flips through a magazine.

"Yes," Eric smiles, happy now. "This is what I want to hear. It'll be like it never happened." He turns to Donna. "Donna, come. Let us leave this unholy thing behind."

I shoot Eric a dirty look to his back. I suppress the urge to get up and shake him.

As soon as they're out the door, I feel the relief flood over me and I sit next to Steven again on the couch.

"Steven…do I really sicken you?" I just have to be sure.

"No," he puts down his magazine and turns to me. "I sicken me because you're supposed to sicken me but you don't."

"Well I feel the same way," I assure him. "I mean I like how scruffy you are," I smile.

"Of course you do," he teases. Then he shakes his head after a moment. "Man, you know what? Screw it. Let's just do what we want, okay?"

I was hoping he'd say that. I lean forward to kiss him, but remember one more thing.

"Okay, but what about Michael?"

"Details, baby. Details," he shrugs before pulling me close.

We start to kiss again, but after a moment I pull back. "You know, where do Eric and Donna get off thinking they can tell us what to do?" I lean back against the couch.

Steven shakes his head and stands up. He walks over to get a soda from off the washing machine. "I don't know, Jackie. It's why I wanted to keep this under wraps you know? You had to know they wouldn't understand."

"Yeah, I know. It just bugs me that my best friend would do that to me," I say sadly. "And yours to you."

"Like I said, let's just do what _we _want, okay?" Steven sits in his chair. I nod. "Come' ere," he says.

I stand up and sit on his lap, resting my head on his shoulder. And suddenly I feel so much better.

Sure, there was trouble with my mom. And my dad was having some mysterious problems at work. And my best friend was going to another school. And the rest of my friends were going to be leaving soon. But all of this didn't seem so challenging when I knew I had Steven by my side. And I was sure of that now.

And I think I finally figured it out. The key to what to do with your past. Some people believe that your past is only going to hold you back. Others say you must keep it close because it has made you who you are.

But the truth was…both. Sometimes you had to keep parts of your past with you, because yes, they have made you what you are. They have taught you lessons and help made you a stronger person. But certain parts of your past you have to let go of so you could keep growing, and become even better than you thought was ever possible. And you could achieve things so great you'd never even dreamed of.

I lift my head and look at Steven. He glances away from the TV and returns my gaze. I purse my lips and he leans down to meet my kiss. It's gentle yet immensely powerful.

I sit upright and loop my arm behind his neck. "You know," I say, because what I'm thinking needs to be said. I think of everything that has happened with my family and friends, and everything that was happening and will happen. "We're all alright."

Steven nods and squeezes his arm around my waist. "We're all alright." (2)

o-o-o-o-o

Footnotes:

1 – Yes, the title of this chapter came straight from the theme song. And I wanted to include it because to me these three simple words carry an incredibly profound message. More on that message later…

2 - "We're all alright." Like I said before, these words carry an integrally profound message. To me, these words mean that things may not be perfect, or even good, but nevertheless, you keep going, and keep trying, because things aren't so bad that you've given up. And for Jackie at this point in time, her situation with all the people in her life is just 'alright.' Her mom, dad, Donna and her other friends: There are problems in each relationship, and we see over the course of the show following this point that she deals with it all. It doesn't all end well: her Dad goes to prison, her mom doesn't return until much later, Donna stays in Catholic school, etc. Yet she and everyone else keeps going, keeps trying and living. Because this is really what life is like. Its not always perfect, or even pleasant, but something makes you keep going. People become unhappy when they only see the things they don't have instead of appreciating what they do. In this moment, Jackie isn't thinking of what _could_ be, she's thinking of what things she still has that keeps her going. This includes Hyde. She's finally in a good place. And she's alright.


End file.
